Being in a toxic relationship can have a tremendous impact on your life, and I’m not talking in a positive way. But what’s even harder is to recover from your toxic ex, especially if he’s a stubborn ex-boyfriend who doesn’t accept “NO” as an answer.
That’s why the consequences of his actions and behavior will sadly remain with you for a long time. The wounds he inflicted on your soul, mind, and heart need a significant amount of time to heal.
Because even when you think you’re ready to move on, suddenly insecurity emerges that you haven’t had before and you end up sheltering your heart all over again. You can’t say that you have moved on from your toxic ex until you have dealt with all the guy’s past shadows that have been haunting you for the past couple of months.
If you’re wondering whether or not you’re ready to get back out there and start dating again, then I suggest you read this article first to find out if you’ve officially turned over a new page in your life.
1. You have no intention to respond if he ever reaches out to you
Let’s face it. Most toxic men will eventually try to crawl their way back to you. Whether that be calling or texting you, it doesn’t really matter, it’ll happen.
You may have heard of it – it’s known as “hoovering.” That’s when your toxic ex slithers his way into your DMs, contacts you via e-mail, and clogs up your voicemail.
Even asking your friends how you’ve been and what you’re doing is considered to be “hoovering.”
And this can have a real impact on you, as his presence, in one way or another, influences your healing process.
But when you finally get out of the vicious cycle and no longer care whether or not he contacts you, that’s when you know that you’ve recovered from your toxic ex.
You have zero desire to entertain his attempts and you don’t give in to his demands because you don’t care how he feels or if he starts picking a fight with you.
Playing minds games is part of who he is. Rather than giving in to them and letting him control you, you’re instead actively working at resisting his attempts.
He’s just someone from your past and you don’t have any intention of changing that. It’s over between you two and things aren’t going to change, no matter what he tries.
2. You don’t feel the urge to contact him
Breaking up with anyone is difficult, but the aftermath of doing it with a toxic ex is even tougher. Why? Because you still care about him, so your first instinct is to reach out and say what’s in your heart.
Perhaps you want to say how much you miss him and get everything off your chest, or just see what he’s been up to. Your initial reaction is to pick up the phone and dial his number, hoping that he’d pick up.
Finally, you let go of those emotions and restrain yourself from doing any of them. You know it’s a bad idea because his potential rejection would break your heart completely and you’d end up being heartbroken all over again.
But do you know when you can be sure you’ve moved on from someone? When you don’t have to give yourself more time to heal because you know your heart can survive anything now. This is exactly what’s happening to you right now.
You don’t yearn for him anymore and you don’t feel the need to reach out to your toxic ex.
The urge to call him is long gone and getting back together with him nothing but a distant memory. This is one of the most obvious signs you’ve recovered from your toxic ex.
3. You’re immersed in loving yourself
When your heart misses someone and you know you’re hurting, you waste all of your time and energy on that one particular person. And it happens even if they’re no longer physically present in your life.
You’re entirely focused on getting back together with him and in the process, you end up losing yourself completely. But not just that, you lose your self-respect, self-worth, sanity, and dignity.
But when you shift your focus and start prioritizing yourself and your well-being over anyone, it means that you’ve recovered from the pain that used to consume you.
When you work on improving yourself, the pain starts to slowly fade. It means you’ve really left the past where it belongs. Finally, you accept who you are and you’re not letting anyone change you, no matter what.
4. You’ve quit seeking closure
It’s perfectly normal to look for closure once you end a relationship, and especially when you have a broken heart.
Your head is in a constant state of mess, thinking of what went wrong and why things didn’t turn out the way you anticipated.
So, you search for a kind of ending to this story that probably doesn’t even exist.
If you’re wondering whether or not you’ve recovered from your toxic ex, then ask yourself this: Have you stopped looking for closure? If so, then you know you’ve accepted that there are certain things you’ll never understand.
You’ve stopped thinking about your toxic relationship and why you couldn’t have prevented its demise. You’ve stopped making excuses for him and questioning why your ex treated you the way he did.
And you’ve come to terms that he’s part of your past now and that you two weren’t meant to be. So, that’s how you know you’ve recovered from your toxic ex.