Narcissists have secrets of their own that they don’t want anyone to know. If they could, they would hide these little signs of vulnerability forever. But sometimes, they’re not as smart as they like to believe they are.
A narcissist can easily fool you. You fall in love with him, you give him everything that you are and more. That’s why you feel like you’re nothing more than a puppet to him.
Maybe you don’t even feel like a victim at this point in your life. You just know that his touch isn’t as kind as you thought it was. You know that he’s not as considerate as he was before.
But the people around you are able to clearly see what’s going on. They see you as a victim of narcissistic abuse, which you actually are. They see the true picture.
Even if you’ve broken up with your narcissistic partner, I still believe that this article will be of much use to you. Don’t believe that narcissists are a rare breed that you won’t encounter in your life. Because you will. You’ll encounter them too many times (as if once wasn’t enough).
That’s why it’s so important that you understand the secretive ways of their minds.
1. They will put their guard down if you play dumb
If your boyfriend is a narcissist, it’s better to play dumb for a while. What do I mean by that? Well, if you don’t, he’ll only manipulate you more and get you to believe that you’re the one who’s going crazy.
However, if you act as if you’re not aware of his manipulative behavior, then he’ll unknowingly let you catch a glimpse of the real version of him. After a while, he’ll start letting his true self peek through more and more.
When he suspects that you’re smart enough to see right through him, he’ll put more effort into hiding it. So, what you should do is play dumb for a while. Pretend as if you don’t know what he’s doing to you.
This way, you’ll be able to prepare yourself mentally to leave, while also collect everything you need to in order to confront him.
It’s one of the secrets narcissists have and don’t want you to know. It makes their little schemes ineffective, which means that they won’t be able to get you to comply with their needs completely.
This is scary for them because they exert a lot of effort to get someone to like them. That’s why they start to loosen up around someone who’s seemingly already trapped in their little game.
2. They’re not capable of receiving love
Your narcissistic partner isn’t able of receiving love, nor is he able to love you. Not in the sense of how people tend to experience love, that is.
You’re just an object to him that fulfills his current needs. These needs include things like validation, affirmation, attention, and are usually insatiable.
It doesn’t matter how much you give yourself to him, he still doesn’t think of you as enough. It breaks you to pieces, so you start to think that you’re the one at fault here. But you’re not.
You’re just a source for his narcissistic supply. If you haven’t heard of what that is, it’s a narcissists’ need for excessive attention and admiration. It’s usually fixed on verbal affirmations.
So, if you thought the narcissist in your life was capable of loving you or receiving your love, it’s probably not true. Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule, but the chances are slim that he’s one of them.
3. It breaks them to not have the final word
Another secret narcissists hide is the fact that they despise not getting in the last word.
This is quite obvious when you decide to break up with him and he simply comes back running to you. Your narcissistic partner doesn’t care that you told him how drained you are or how badly he’s broken you.
He doesn’t care that you’re the one to walk away from him. Even if it means that he has to step on his own ego just to get you back, he’ll do it.
That’s only because of the fact that he doesn’t want to let you or the people around you believe that you’re the one who won this battle. He has to be the one who has the final say.
He’ll go to extremes to convince you to give him another chance, just so he can be the one to then break your heart.
4. Their biggest fear is being held accountable
A narcissist doesn’t understand that he’s not perfect. He cares a lot about his public image and reputation.
That’s why you’ll never see a narcissist be his truest self when he’s around other people. He needs them to believe that he’s God’s gift to the world.
But narcissistic abuse can be taken to extremes. That’s why you always have to keep evidence of his violent behavior, whether that includes screenshots of conversations you’ve had or pictures of when he starts throwing stuff around.
Of course, the best evidence of his behavior are videos that you can show the police.
He’ll be petrified to find out that you can hold him accountable for his behavior.
This isn’t much of a secret for other people – we’re all scared to be caught if we ever do something bad. But for narcissists, it’s a huge issue, because they can’t handle someone hating them or working against them.