Having self-confidence is the key to surviving the concrete jungle of the world we live in.
Society as such can sometimes be cruel, cold, and ruthless toward you.
However, having the belief in yourself that you can conquer anything and at the same time keep your composure is something that not all people possess.
Yes, there are many people who lack self-confidence and by that, I mean to have low self-esteem.
They don’t believe they can do certain things and they do not believe in themselves.
If you want to succeed in life, at your job, or at anything that life throws at you, you need to be strong, because problems are never-ending.
A lack of self-esteem plays a crucial role in maintaining our mental health.
If we have a high level of self-esteem, there is no mountain high enough that we cannot climb, and no challenge too hard for us; it makes us more resilient.
Opposite to that, if our level of self-esteem is low, we tend to shift the blame for everything that happens onto ourself rather than seeing the bigger picture.
But maybe it wasn’t you to blame when the car broke down, or the time you forgot to buy something at the grocery store for the house, and so on.
In today’s age especially, when they have done something wrong, most people isolate and start accusing themselves.
We tend not to think about the impact of that on us or the conversations we play back in our head.
You know those nights, where you just sat down and told yourself how you are not good enough, how you’re not pretty?
Yes, I mean those negative comments that you feed yourself with. Those contribute to your lack of self-esteem.
These signs should help you realize whether or not you have a lack of self-esteem, and later in this article, I will swiftly go through ways of how to boost your self-esteem:
1. You frequently compare yourself to others
You have a habit of comparing yourself to others frequently, am I right?
Not just strangers, but you also compare yourself to your relatives, parents, colleagues, and friends.
Even though there is nothing wrong with this habit, eventually it will affect your self-esteem and not in a good way.
It’s never good to judge yourself according to someone else’s standards.
Don’t ever do that! Don’t you dare compare yourself to others and what they have accomplished!
We are not all the same. It doesn’t matter if you have not accomplished something that you really want, and another person has.
It doesn’t mean you are less valuable than them.
You cannot compare your experience with theirs. Not everyone’s life is the same. It would be boring if it was.
If you find yourself comparing yourself to others, ask yourself this question: “Why am I comparing myself to this person when I’m more than enough?”
2. You have trouble rejecting people
If you find yourself always saying, “Yes,” to everything and everyone, you probably have low self-esteem.
You should understand that saying, “No,” is okay. There is no harm in that.
The problem arises when you start thinking about whether or not people will like you for who you are.
You should be focusing on yourself and not on others and not be trying to find reasons why people actually like you.
Don’t be that type of person who says yes just because you want to please everyone.
Not everyone’s needs should be fulfilled. This issue isn’t about being nice and helpful, but it actually comes from you wanting to satisfy everyone.
You shouldn’t keep running to your partner every time he says he needs something, even though you are overwhelmed and overworked.
If you say yes to everything then it is time to work on your self-esteem.
Another reason for saying yes to everything and everyone is that you are trying to avoid conflict. In that case, your everyday conversations are filled with white lies.
Picture this: Your boyfriend asks you what you think about his suit.
Your mind automatically chooses a positive answer because you feel the need to satisfy him.
Instead of telling the truth, you tell him that he looks great in those clothes, even though he doesn’t, to avoid having any conflict.
You are afraid that you will let your loved ones down, so you tell them what they want to hear.
Your words never speak the truth, they are just lies. At the same time, you are hiding your true identity behind a stack of white lies that are unnecessary.
If you are afraid to tell the truth, there is a simple way to get out of a tricky situation. Start by saying, “I think.”
This is a great way to tell the truth without hurting your partner’s feelings.
By saying the words, “I think,” the other person will not see that as an attack, but rather as your opinion.
3. You are always saying you are sorry
This is a huge sign that you need to work on your self-esteem. You should realize that it is not always you who needs to take the blame.
You should not constantly be saying, “I’m sorry.”
Don’t try to decrease the impact that you have on people.
You shouldn’t say sorry for speaking your mind or if you share your emotions with your partner or even ask for a favor.
Those are basic things that you should not worry about.
For example, you shouldn’t say sorry when you sneeze, or when someone bumps into you, or when you borrow someone’s pen.
Woman, stay focused on yourself and keep on going, don’t worry about the small stuff, and don’t think you are not worthy of someone else’s time!
4. You enjoy making fun of your partner and other people
This one is self-explanatory.
If you have low self-esteem, then most of the time you will belittle your partner and others to give yourself that high that you are looking for.
You make fun of others, so you feel better afterward.
Most of the time, at work or at home, you criticize those who lack experience. You try to divert your insecurities onto them.
So, you need to ask yourself what you gain by making fun of other people. Nothing. You gain nothing.
There is no need for you to do that. Instead, focus your energy on more positive things. They will give you the self-esteem that you desperately need.
How to help yourself if you have low self-esteem
The first thing you should do is recognize the signs of low self-esteem.
Once you have noticed and recognized the problem, then you can focus on improving it.
For example, if you have problems with your appearance, and I’m talking about your physical appearance, then maybe you should ask a friend for advice.
Ask someone you think is more fashionable than you for advice on what to wear, how to dress, what type of make-up looks good on you, and so on.
If you have problems with comparing yourself to others, the best way to gain self-esteem is to accept the fact that you are more than enough.
You are a beautiful creature who doesn’t need affirmations from others to know that you have a beautiful soul, a beautiful mind, and a beautiful body.
Your heart is pure and you need to realize that. Just stop worrying about what others think.
Another thing to keep in mind is acknowledging your failures and that when you are wrong, just move one.
Stop saying sorry a million times, as if it would make the situation better.
Learn from your mistakes and move on. If you accept your failures, and if you see them as opportunities to grow, that will boost your self-esteem.
However, the most important thing to do is to let negative people go.
If you surround yourself with negative people and people who always belittle you, eventually your self-esteem will crumble.
Those people are not worth your time or effort.
The best way to boost your self-esteem is to get rid of them, even if they are your boyfriend or a family member.
Of course, first, you should talk to them and tell them what the problem is, but if they don’t want to see it and work on it, then it is time to move on.