Sometimes, you don’t seem to notice that your relationship is toxic. You believe that you and your partner may be experiencing some obstacles or that the two of you simply have different personalities which make you deal with issues in different ways.
But more often than not, it’s easy to overlook the fact that you’re stuck in a toxic relationship.
All of the excuses make your mediocre relationship feel average. You fail to notice the real issues that are hiding below the surface.
That’s why I’ll give you a list of easy-to-miss signs that show the reality of your situation. Your relationship may be secretly toxic and you may not even be aware of it.
So, here’s what will help you look the truth directly in the eye.
1. You’re the only one who always puts in the effort to communicate
Every healthy relationship is based on normal levels of communication. You and your partner should feel open to talk about anything and everything.
But sometimes, you have this feeling that you and your boyfriend would never have a decent conversation if it wasn’t for you.
You’re always the one who makes sure that you talk to each other. You share your feelings and act like a couple in a healthy relationship and sometimes, carrying this burden is tiring.
You’re aware that without you, this relationship would have fallen apart a long time ago. And at some point in time, it really started to bother you.
But then again, you thought that other couples may be having the same issues. You wondered whether this was just a phase and that sooner or later, you’d get a hold of the situation.
One day, you hope that you won’t be the one who initiates all of the conversations and he’ll finally realize that it takes two to tango.
Unfortunately, this could be the first sign that you’re secretly stuck in a toxic relationship. Maybe you’ll keep ignoring it but the problem is there and it’s not going anywhere until you finally sit down and resolve it.
2. You’re the one who always fixes the damaged parts
Whenever there’s an issue, it falls to you to fix it. No matter how big or small and no matter whether it was your fault or his.
It bothers you that you have to be the one to fix all of the problems when your boyfriend has the same amount of responsibility for your relationship.
But every time you tell him about the difficulties you face, he ignores you or tells you that it’s all in your head. He makes it clear that he doesn’t understand where you’re coming from.
And when things like this keep happening over and over again, it’s reasonable to see why you’ve started to lose any will to fix all of the crooked parts of your relationship.
This is another sign that your relationship is secretly toxic and that it’s giving you more pain than pleasure.
3. Your partner blames you for all of the problems
Every time an obstacle appears, you get to be the one who’s responsible for it. It’s either that you did something wrong or you didn’t do what you were supposed to do.
He says it’s because you’re too emotional or because you don’t know how to solve any problems on your own. No matter what happens, you’re always the one to blame and this fact is seriously affecting you.
You’ve got to the point where you keep degrading yourself by accepting the blame that your partner puts on you for the issues you’re going through. But this is wrong and you need to know that healthy relationships don’t work this way.
You can’t be responsible for everything that happens, the same way your partner can’t always end up being the innocent guy.
The fact that he’s projecting all of his faults on to you only goes to show that you’re secretly stuck in a toxic relationship. He played it well until now but it’s time for you to finally open your eyes and see what’s actually going on.
4. Instead of feeling happy, you constantly feel drained
A relationship should feel like a happy place, one where you’re with your partner and all of your worries disappear. When he holds you in his arms, the only thing you should feel is relief.
But when you think about it, the only thing you’re experiencing is emptiness. All this time, you’ve been feeling drained but you blamed it on other aspects of your life.
You couldn’t accept the fact that your partner is making you unhappy but it may be the actual truth.
Do you have this need to ignore his calls and tell him that you’re busy and you can’t see him today?
Do you get this urge to run away from him because you know that after ten minutes with him, you’ll feel like all of your energy is gone?
Your partner is an emotional vampire and you’re stuck in a toxic relationship without even realizing it but don’t give up yet.
Just because you ended up in a place where you’re not feeling happy, it doesn’t mean that you should stay there forever.
There’s always a way out and you shouldn’t prevent yourself from leaving him if his presence isn’t making you content.
Do you really want to be in a relationship where your partner drains all of the energy out of you?
Do you really want to be with the guy who’ll let you do all of the emotional work for your relationship while he’ll be the one to ruin all of the things you’ve worked so hard for?
It’s obvious that your only option is to leave him, since communication doesn’t really work with manipulators or toxic people. They fail to see the issues since they’re not affected by them.
However, his behavior is making you suffer big time and you shouldn’t let him do that any longer. Always have in mind that sometimes, leaving hurts less than holding on.