When you first meet a guy, all you can think about is how perfect he is. You can’t possibly be happier and you can’t get rid of the butterflies in your stomach, even if you want to.
The honeymoon phase is perhaps the most dangerous one. Why do I say this? Isn’t those first few weeks supposed to be the best time of your lives?
Well, it should be. But what about when the honeymoon phase goes by so quickly and you suddenly snap out of it? Will you still be the couple that’s so infatuated with each other?
Some couples will have that luck and live happily ever after. Others, not so much. Unfortunately, those butterflies can fade as soon as you get to know each other more.
On the other hand, it could take weeks, months, or even years just for your partner to reveal his true face. First impressions are important, but they can also be deceiving.
Somehow, you always end up with a toxic boyfriend. The problem is, you don’t know it until you’re in too deep.
A toxic boyfriend is a nightmare. The relationship is exhausting because you’re constantly fighting with each other.
At times, you begin to lose faith that there are caring and loving guys out there. It’s only a consequence of ending up in one unhealthy relationship after the next.
The worst thing you could do is think that it’s normal behavior and that you should go with the flow. And being in a toxic relationship for so long might just do that to you.
However, there are things you can do to stop attracting toxic men. It feels as if you’re their target. Or perhaps you’re doing something that can’t go unnoticed by them?
How to stop attracting toxic men
Of course, you shouldn’t blame yourself, but they just keep coming! It’s not your fault because you’re probably not doing it on purpose.
Some women subconsciously attract toxic men, and without even knowing it, repeatedly fall into their trap.
This type of boyfriend has his ways of luring you in. He carefully chooses his partners, so he can see whether you’re the right fit for him.
On the other hand, it’s possible that you just have a type. However, you probably didn’t choose well because they always end up with toxic behaviors.
But do you really want this to be an excuse? Is it just a “type” thing or is there more to it than what meets the eye? What if there’s something you’re missing – a piece of the puzzle that explains why you’re finding these toxic men attractive?
Perhaps you should delve deeper within yourself and find out what’s been leading you in the wrong direction this whole time. There’s something about you that’s dragging you down and pulling in toxic people.
There are things you can do to stop attracting toxic men. Now, you might not like some of them and they may be a hard pill to swallow. Still, it’s best to first self-reflect and see if you exhibit any toxic behaviors, and any behaviors that cause these men to target you all the time.
1. Build your self-esteem
Toxic men seem to be undermining you and your worth all the time. Does that ring a bell?
If yes, then why do you think all of them have the same tactic? How can it be that they’re all using your weakness against you?
People will do that when they feel you’re lacking self-confidence. If you’re unable to stick up for yourself, they will proceed in making you feel bad for yourself.
Try to be more self-reliant and less dependent on others. If you want to stop attracting toxic men, you have to change. When these men see a woman they can’t bring down, they end up leaving her alone.
These men aren’t strong and wise if they do this. They’re just weak themselves and try to hide their insecurities by revealing others’.
2. Tell yourself it’s okay to be alone
Do you end up in a relationship with any guy who comes your way? Have you never been single for an extended period?
All of this calls for trouble. Perhaps you can’t stop attracting toxic men because you’re scared of being alone.
You’re not used to being single and you don’t know what that looks like. Many girls have this problem and it’s what gets them stuck in toxic relationships.
You’re more than happy to have any partner that comes your way just to have company. But those men can sometimes do you more harm than good.
Toxic people will gladly take any offer to get close to people with a lack of self-esteem, especially those who are afraid of loneliness.
It simply means less work for them. Also, if you’re lacking confidence and don’t want to lose your partner, you’re more likely to put up with their toxic behavior.
3. Don’t look for excuses
One of the biggest problems that may arise from your lack of self-confidence and fear of being alone are excuses.
You don’t have the strength and courage to question your toxic boyfriend’s words and actions. Your low self-esteem and fright are not letting you stand up for yourself.
Instead, you try to justify his actions – and one of the most common excuses is love. Women commonly tend to mistake abuse for love.
You’re trying to fix the issue while deceiving yourself. But that’s not how it works. This way you’re only closing your eyes and choosing not to see the bigger problem.
Also, you’re giving these toxic men more time to play with your feelings and eventually ruin you. If you keep sweeping things under the rug, that pile will inevitably just trip you.
Before you blame the universe for things that are happening to you, start with yourself.
Ask yourself why you are attracting all of these toxic men into your life. No one put a target on your back telling them to aim at you, so it must be something else.
Try reflecting on your actions and behaviors to see if you’re unintentionally the problem. If yes, fix a couple of these issues and you’ll see a change in no time.