When you first hook up with someone, you have no idea what kind of a romantic relationship it’s going to be. Still, there are warning signs that show if you’re not in a healthy relationship. If your relationship feels like a roller coaster ride, you’re probably in a tumultuous relationship.
All human beings have relationship problems, but your unresolved issues can damage your mental health. If your love life is a mess, you have to start making the necessary changes. Your sex life is important, but you have to have a deep connection for a healthy relationship.
Maybe you’re dependent on your significant other and vice versa. You might have a problem with letting go of the past, so it has created an unhealthy dynamic in your relationship. There are many signs you’re in a tumultuous relationship, but what is the definition of a tumultuous relationship?
The definition of a tumultuous relationship
Before we get to the definition of a tumultuous relationship, let’s see what the word tumultuous means. Tumultuous means characterized by disorderly commotion, or emotional or mental agitation. So what is it like to be in a relationship like that?
You could say that the meaning of a tumultuous relationship is that couples express more and feel more. It might sound like a good thing, but it can actually be really bad as it results in an overload of emotional and physical manifestations.
Being in a rocky relationship like this often feels like a long roller coaster ride. Take our relationship advice and preserve your mental health. It’s important that you see the warning signs as soon as possible.
Letting go is one option, but you can always work on making the necessary changes in your romantic relationship. When you hook up with someone, you want to end up in a healthy relationship even though it’s true that all human beings have relationship problems.
You’ll really understand the meaning of a tumultuous relationship once you have read about all the red flags. Your love life might be complicated because of some unresolved issues or maybe you’re too focused on your sex life and don’t have a deep connection with your partner, as I mentioned.
I also mentioned that if you are dependent on your partner and vice versa, it’s one of the red flags of a rocky relationship. If this is not just a hookup and you want to stay with this person, you’re going to need our relationship advice.
It’s time for you to get off the roller coaster, and you’ll be able to do that once you have read our dating tips. Let’s first see all the signs of a tumultuous relationship.
Is your relationship a roller coaster ride? 20 painful signs of a tumultuous relationship
1. You fight the same fights over and over again
Do you always fight about the same things? Does it feel like you are having the same arguments over and over again? As I said before, a tumultuous relationship is like a roller coaster ride.
You’re going to need all the dating tips you can get to get off that ride. It seems like you are always doing the same things, so you started thinking that it’s normal. That’s not the way a relationship should work, and the sooner you realize it, the better.
2. You are manipulative
You might not know this, but a lot of people actually manipulate their partner without being aware of it. They will even deny it when you confront them about it.
Stonewalling, deflecting through criticism, guilting, getting defensive, and showing contempt are just some of the examples. You can find all of them in a tumultuous relationship.
3. You are dependent
You feel that your happiness depends on your relationship, and that is why you think your relationship works. The truth, however, could be that you’re dependent on your partner.
That could be the reason why you’re always back in the same place; you’re okay with staying no matter whether it’s good or bad because you feel depressed and lonely without your partner.
4. You hide your feelings
The cause of the unhappiness and disagreements in your relationship could be that you don’t work on resolving the issues; you express the wrong types of emotions or hide them altogether.
One of the best dating tips for this situation is that you don’t hold back on what you want to tell your partner. Don’t ever hold back, and it will allow you two to make faster and easier decisions.
5. You ask your friends for validation
You are flaky about your relationship, but you keep asking other people what you should do about it. Of course, you won’t listen to them, so there’s really no point in asking.
The solution to this problem is to go to a therapist. Ask your therapist for advice instead of your friends, and you’ll listen to it since you’re already paying for it.
6. You’re on and off
You break up, then get back together… then you break up again, get back together again, and repeat the whole process. That is a very dangerous game to be playing with your emotions.
The best thing to do about it is to sit down and talk about it with your partner. Talk about your next break-up and decide if it’s going to be the last one. The only other option is for you two to work on your relationship and stop breaking up.
7. You don’t resolve your issues
Most of the time, couples face problems because they don’t deal with them as soon as they appear. They ignore them or hope that they will go away but they never do; instead, they grow and result in resentment.
The only way for you to move forward is to address all the obstacles that appear in your way. If that doesn’t sound like you and your partner, you’re probably in a tumultuous relationship.
8. You hate some things about your partner
Let’s be clear, it’s perfectly normal for you to be annoyed by some of your partner’s bad habits. However, your feelings shouldn’t be anything like hate.
If you hate some things about your partner, it’s a very bad sign. Hatred is a very strong emotion, and it might mean that the two of you aren’t right for each other.
9. You want to keep your options open
It’s understandable that you should fully commit to the person you are with. Otherwise, there’s no reason for you to be in a relationship, and you can be single instead. No one forced you to be in a relationship anyway.
When your eyes start wandering, and you keep your options open, you need to ask yourself why you are staying in that tumultuous relationship. Couples in committed relationships don’t think about dating other people.
10. You are trying to change each other into someone else
No one is perfect, and all of us have flaws. so if you are trying to change each other into someone else, you don’t really love each other for who you are.
If you don’t, there’s no point in staying in that tumultuous relationship. There’s someone who would love them the way they are, and the same goes for you.
11. There’s a lack of trust in your relationship
Do you two trust each other? Everyone knows that trust is the foundation of a happy relationship. Without trust, you’re just fooling yourself.
Do you often check your partner’s phone? Maybe you get jealous whenever they talk to someone attractive? If you have trust issues, you have to work on it or end things.
12. You’re in a relationship for the wrong reason
So, maybe you’re in a relationship just for the sake of being in one. Do you see yourself being in this relationship for a long time?
Desperation and loneliness are not the right foundations to build your relationship on. If you don’t see yourself with this partner in five to ten years’ time, you probably aren’t right for each other.
13. They don’t respect you
Is your partner continually undermining your opinions? They need to value whatever you have to say. Do they ignore you, especially when you’re around other people?
This is not only a sign of disrespect but also a sign that you’re in a tumultuous relationship. Your partner should respect your opinions; after all, it’s the only way for your relationship to be healthy again.
14. There are a lot of negative influences
Couples influence each other, and relationships that are healthy influence you in a positive way. Such relationships encourage positive behavior but bad relationships, however, have a negative influence.
You can recognize negative influences in the acquired habits of recklessness, drug use, and violence. Your relationship should make you feel good about yourself, not lead you on the wrong path.
15. They always try to bring you down
Does your partner make you feel inferior? Do they imply that you are dense or stupid? Do they shame your body?
That’s not a way a relationship should work, and it’s a sign of a tumultuous relationship. Relationships should be about supporting each other and growing together.
16. They are abusive
Disrespect and arguments can lead to abuse and whether it’s physical, emotional, or psychological, abuse shouldn’t be tolerated.
Are you afraid of your partner? If they have been abusive, it’s time to leave that relationship. Even if they haven’t yet raised a hand to you, their abusive tendencies are a cause for concern. You can end up being someone’s soulmate, so don’t end up being someone’s victim.
17. You don’t feel like you’re good enough
The way weak people make themselves feel powerful is by bringing down those who are strong. Does your partner undermine you? Do they undervalue you?
If your partner makes snide remarks about you (whether it’s physically or otherwise), it will damage your self-esteem. You won’t love yourself like you used to, and you’ll end up feeling like you’re not good enough.
18. They are incapable of being happy for you
Your partner doesn’t share in your success and happiness but brings you down. It seems like they can always find a way to ruin things for you.
They even turn your moments of joy into shaming contests and they don’t miss a chance to remind you how you’ll end up messing it all up. That’s very unhealthy, and you deserve someone who’ll be capable of being happy for you.
19. You feel relief when you break up
I know you break up a lot, but be honest, do you feel relief when you break up? If you do, stop getting back together with that person. You’re just torturing yourself by not accepting the truth. If you two are so bad for each other, end things once and for all and start searching for someone who’ll really love you.
So, what to do if it has turned out you’re in a tumultuous relationship? Ask yourself these questions:
1. Why did you like this person in the first place?
Taking a look at why you like this person will help assess whether you want to be with them. Do you want to be with them because of who they are, or is it more about what they can give you?
When you choose a person to love, you have to love the whole package; you can’t just pick what you love. It’s time for you to realize whether you really do love this person; after all, if you don’t, there’s no reason for you to stay in that relationship.
2. Are they the same person you fell for?
So, you understood who this person was and it’s time for you to ask yourself whether they are still that person. If not, could they go back to the way they were?
This is important since just because you love them it doesn’t mean that they’re still the same. People change, and when they change in a relationship, it could mean the end of love.
3. Do your fights affect your life outside of the relationship?
When it comes to your social life, other relationships, and your career, do your fights affect them? If so, you will need to take a look at your priorities and rearrange them. Will you focus on other areas of your life or on your relationship?
If you really love this person and choose to focus on the relationship, you should be sure that it’s worth it. In some cases, like if your partner has issues that you need to deal with as a couple, it’s okay. However, if not, it might be best that you focus on other areas of your life that make you a better person.
4. Are you more sad than happy?
How happy are you usually? Compare it to how sad you are. If you’re unhappy in your relationship, it could be best that you choose in favor of happiness.
You can stay in your relationship if you want… but don’t let it stop you from choosing gratitude, joy, and having a healthy mind. If your partner is making that impossible, maybe it is a journey you should take without them.
5. Do you use happy moments as excuses to disregard the sad ones?
If you have a habit of using happy moments as excuses to disregard the sad ones, you might be in a tumultuous relationship. Other people do it too, but it happens most often with couples who are in this type of relationship.
It isn’t a healthy habit; after all, you can’t manifest happy moments out of thin air. Such moments happen in their own time once you’re in the right mindset and situation.
6. Are you going to break up or try therapy?
No matter how bad this sounds, there’s always hope. You’re already trying to find help by reading this article. You should open up to your loved one and show your vulnerable side.
Getting professional help could be the thing that will save your relationship. You need any help that you can get if you really love this person and wish to stay together.
7. Are you making sure to put yourself first?
You want to work on your relationship, but don’t forget that your own well-being needs your attention. So, don’t focus just on your relationship, but make sure to put your own well-being first. Take care of yourself and love yourself.
You can always make yourself feel better by talking to friends, doing what makes you happy, trying out fun new things, and making sure you lead a healthy lifestyle. At the end of the day, your relationship can’t be happy if you’re not happy to begin with.
8. Are you going to break up?
If you have discovered that you’re in a tumultuous relationship, it might be best to break up. You can always try the things I mentioned previously, but if nothing works, you should break up.
The first step is to talk about it with someone, however. Whether it’s a friend or a professional, talking about it will help you see things more clearly. You will get to understand all the reasons why it needs to end if it does. Leaning on someone could really help you make that decision and whenever you feel like calling your partner, you can call that person instead.
Sometimes, the reason why we stay in a bad situation is that we have already suffered through it so we start making excuses to stay, and it’s called cognitive dissonance. Stop expecting this relationship to work if nothing has changed. Don’t try to justify the reasons for being in it.
It’s important to fight for love, but when nothing changes, it probably wasn’t love to begin with. You put effort into working on this relationship, but if nothing seems to work, that is when it’s time for you to admit defeat and give up on it altogether.
When you decide to end it, the hard part is letting your partner know about it and it’s best that you think of all the reasons why you need to break up before you confront them. If you feel like a victim in this relationship, tell them that you don’t intend to be a victim any longer.
Let’s not forget that one of the signs of a tumultuous relationship is when you are continually breaking up and getting back together. If that is the case in your relationship, you need to make it clear that this time it’s over for good. Still, that doesn’t mean anything unless you stick to your decision.
Breaking up and getting back together is emotional torture, and it needs to stop. The only way that could ever happen is if you stick to your decision. As long as you keep in mind that things aren’t going to be any different if you go back, you won’t.
Let’s also not forget abuse as one of the signs of this type of relationship. If your partner is abusive and you’re even scared of them, don’t think twice about breaking up. In the case of abuse, there’s no excuse so if your partner has ever raised a hand to you, leave right now and don’t bother with trying to fix it.
You deserve to be in a healthy, happy relationship, and there’s no need to stay in one that isn’t. Some relationships simply aren’t meant to last, and if you’re not the right person for each other, it’s best that you know now. Otherwise, you’ll just prolong the agony and postpone the inevitable final break-up.
It doesn’t mean that you and your partner are bad people, you’re just bad for each other. Let yourselves find happiness, even if it means you have to find it separately. Good luck!