Unrequited love might not be the end of the world, but it sure feels that way. The emotional pain makes you feel like you’re the only person experiencing heartbreak. How to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you back?
Letting go isn’t easy when you feel like you’re losing your soulmate but you can’t keep feeding yourself false hope and thinking that this is the only person you could ever love. The reasons why they don’t love you back doesn’t necessarily have to be about you.
You need to know that after enough time has passed, your broken heart will heal. Everyone has to go through their own healing process. It’s crucial that you take care of your mental health and preserve your self-esteem.
Love yourself and take care of yourself. Pick up a new hobby that will keep you occupied. Don’t focus only on the good memories you had with them because there surely have been bad ones as well. Remembering only the good memories will give you false hope that things could be that way again and it will make letting go even harder.
Your love life might be complicated now, but soon, you’ll wake up in a new relationship. This new love will show you that the one you loved before wasn’t really your soulmate.
It feels like the end of the world, but it isn’t. Heartbreaks are normal, and the emotional pain you’re feeling is nothing out of the ordinary. After you spend enough time on the healing process, you’ll wake up with your own feelings changed.
You can learn how to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you, but it’s not something that happens overnight. Remember that your new love is waiting for you to get your love life in order, so stop texting your old one. Don’t stalk them on social media and get support from your loved ones.
Your best friends could help you get your own feelings in check. Unrequited love leaves you with a broken heart and damaged mental health but don’t lose your self-esteem and damage your mental health because of someone who doesn’t care for you.
There are plenty of reasons why you need to go through the healing process. After all, you want to be ready for a new relationship so there should be no more contact with the person who broke your heart.
Unrequited love hurts, and your loved ones can help you deal with it. As I said, let your best friends help you take care of yourself and find a new hobby that could get your mind off of unrequited love.
Let’s learn how to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you back. All you need to do is follow these steps.
How to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you: 19 steps healing process
1. Don’t run away from the truth
Recognizing the problem is always the first step to resolving it so don’t run away from the truth and pretend like your feelings aren’t really there. Admit them to yourself.
The truth is that you love someone who doesn’t care the same way about you. You care for them, but they don’t reciprocate the feelings. It’s not something to be ashamed of, and it has happened to all of us.
So, don’t repress your feelings, but be honest about them. Expressing your emotions to yourself is a way of knowing what you’re dealing with. Is this temporary, or do your feelings go deeper?
2. Don’t be afraid to ask for help
Moving on is never easy, especially when you care deeply about someone who doesn’t love you back. You have to understand that you don’t have to go through this alone. You’re going to need any help you can get on your way to learning how to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you.
There’s no shame in verbalizing your emotions and seeking advice from those who love you. Don’t hold it all in and don’t fight those emotions on your own. It’s not something that makes you stronger but only makes this period harder.
Whenever you feel overwhelmed and like you can’t take it anymore, ask your friends for help. You don’t have to go through this by yourself, and you should use any help that you can get.
3. Have a positive outlook on the situation
Don’t fall into despair and think of this as the worst thing that could possibly happen. Every one of us has felt the way you feel now. Even though you don’t know it now, you’ll get over this quickly.
Don’t be a pessimist, and try to look at things optimistically. The pain you’re feeling now will soon go away and it’s essential to keep that in mind when you’re learning how to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you.
Surely there have been a lot of situations in your past that you thought were unresolvable but somehow you succeeded in overcoming all your issues and obstacles, didn’t you? So, why do you think that you won’t overcome this situation?
You might feel helpless and see no way out, but time really does heal all wounds, and so it will yours. Have faith in yourself and believe in your strength that will once again save you from a bad situation.
4. Don’t think what could have been, accept what is
Accepting the harsh truth might be the most crucial step in how to stop loving someone so much. No matter how painful it is, you must accept the situation you’re in. The present needs your attention so you can continue happily to the future.
Maybe in the past, this person loved you, and that’s why this is so hard for you… or you keep hoping that in the future they’ll grow to love you. In any case, you live in the present, and at this time, this person doesn’t care about you.
Stop obsessing over what happened before between you two, what might happen, or what could have been. Don’t lie to yourself and stop waiting for a miracle. Forget about everything else, and focus on making the pain stop.
5. Don’t search for someone to blame for this
When you’re learning how to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you, don’t blame anyone for this situation. You can’t force yourself to stop loving someone, and the same way, they can’t force themselves to love you back.
You’re not a fool for having these feelings, nor are you unworthy of love. One person doesn’t love you, but it doesn’t mean that no one ever will. You’ll get the love that you deserve.
Turning your disappointment into hatred toward this person will only make things worse. Unnecessary anger and bitterness could only make you seem desperate so don’t let yourself fall into that trap.
6. Accept that it can’t change overnight and let yourself heal
When learning how to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you, it’s important not to expect miracles. That doesn’t mean that you’ll keep loving this person forever, it just means that it takes time, energy, and effort to get over someone so don’t expect that everything will change overnight.
Don’t pretend that you’re fine and give yourself time to heal. Stop holding all your emotions in and let yourself heal by letting them loose.
When you feel like crying, cry, when you feel like screaming, scream. If you think that you need to sleep it off, do it. Just don’t make a habit out of this, and don’t exaggerate.
7. Use the no contact rule
You know that the no contact rule could help you get your ex back, but in this case, you’ll use it to get over the person you love. Cut all ties with them, no matter how much it hurts you to do that. It’s the only way how to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you.
It’s impossible to get over a person if you constantly stay in touch with them. Delete their number and block them on your Facebook or any other profile you might have and avoid going to places where you know you could encounter them.
It’s even a good idea to cut off everyone who reminds you of this person, at least at first. Sometimes, the only person who can heal a heart that is broken is the person who broke it in the first place but it doesn’t have to be true in your case.
Keep in mind that you’ll only prolong the suffering if you ever contact them again. Whenever you have the need to do that, remember that you’ll get your heart broken again. The only way for you to feel better is to finally say goodbye to this person and stop all the contact you have with them.
8. Everything that reminds you of them needs to go
How to stop loving someone so much? All the gifts they gave you, the pictures you have together, and songs that remind you of them need to go. Remove all this stuff because it’s the only way to remove this person from your heart and mind.
You don’t need constant reminders of how hopeful you are that they will grow to love you. What you need to do is completely remove them from your life. That doesn’t mean just the no contact rule, but removing all reminders you have of them.
The best thing to do is get rid of it all by tossing it or deleting it, depending on the thing in question. Still, if that’s just too painful for you to do, put it all in a box that you’ll hide out of sight. As long as you don’t see these things anymore, any solution can do the trick.
9. Try looking for positive sides to this
Don’t think of your heartbreak as the worst thing in the world, think of the good sides instead. This terrible experience could be a blessing in disguise and teach you some valuable lessons.
Try thinking of this as a test of your strength because it will help you become the best version of yourself. This struggle will teach you that you shouldn’t put so much effort into anyone who isn’t worthy of it. It will show you what your priorities should be and that you need to love yourself more than you love anyone else.
After all, the longer you love this person, the longer it will take before you can love someone else. Everyone has loved the wrong person at least once in their life, but the right one is out there for everyone.
10. Keep yourself busy and do the things you love
The more you keep yourself busy, the less time you’ll have to think about this person and the whole situation. Do whatever it is that you love doing and try to enjoy every second of your life.
Don’t hurry to get involved with someone new to forget about your ex and instead try to enjoy your single life. Working on yourself will pay off. Only you can put that smile back on your face.
You deserve to be happy, and you’re the only one who can make yourself truly happy. Do all the things that make you happy and try to have as much fun as you can. Spend time with friends, and let them help you get through this.
11. Tell your close friends about your feelings
You’re not the first or the only person to have this problem. A lot of people have been in the same situation in which you are now and that is why it’s important for you to talk to those close to you about how you feel.
Find someone who had the same problem and ask them how they got through it and what they did to ease the pain. Even if their advice doesn’t help you a lot, just the fact that they fully understand what you’re going through will mean a lot.
Still, be careful not to fall into the trap of dwelling on this, because you won’t be able to let go. All you need is a couple of good conversations, and you’ll feel a lot better. If you don’t like talking to others about your problems, turn to books and films on this topic that could help you.
12. Take care of your health and appearance
Don’t neglect yourself, no matter how much you’re hurting. Even if you don’t feel like doing anything, take care of your health and appearance. Take a bubble bath, make some tea, go shopping, and change your hairstyle.
Don’t try to drown your sorrow in alcohol and avoid rash decisions. Maybe you think that self-destroying will get the one you love to understand and see your pain, but it won’t. All you’ll do is damage your health.
Instead of getting absorbed in dark thoughts, change something about yourself. Renew your wardrobe and change your hairstyle. Try putting effort into looking good, and you’ll start feeling good too.
13. Get rid of negativity by exercising
Your emotional balance needs to be restored, and the best way to do that is by exercising so get rid of all that negativity by working out. You can try fitness classes, jogging, going to the gym or swimming.
Have you always wanted to learn how to ride a horse? This is a great choice because you’ll not only get the physical activity that you need but also get positive emotions from contact with animals.
Combine arts and sports by learning to dance. You can dance by yourself at home by turning up your favorite song and letting loose or learn to dance the rumba or tango by going to a dance studio. This is an excellent step to healing because you get in shape and have fun at the same time.
14. Try new things
You need to find peace and forget about the past. Take some time to grieve, but don’t take forever. There are new things that you can try to help you move on.
Start by updating your playlist and finding new songs to listen to. Many of the old ones probably still remind you of the person you love.
Why don’t you have an adventure as well? You can travel to new places and discover new things that will get this person off your mind. Focus on yourself and the future that’s ahead of you. You’ll reinvent yourself and find peace.
15. Stop hoping that they will love you
You will never move on if you keep hoping that this person is going to love you; this hope could only do you harm. This wishful thinking will only prevent you from accepting that it’s over, and you won’t be able to move on.
It will, in addition, make you do things that you shouldn’t, such as calling or visiting them, which could only make you look desperate, and you aren’t and don’t have to be.
Sure, you need to have hope; not the hope that they’ll love you, but the hope that someone else soon will. Hope that you’ll find true love, not that you’ll keep chasing the wrong one.
16. Stay strong
No matter how much it hurts, you need to stay strong. Just think of all the troubles you had before, they were all things that you could overcome. Don’t let this person define who you are or how you feel.
You have the strength that you need to move on, so use it. Don’t give in to the temptation of ever calling them again. Stop crying and work on putting the smile back on your face.
You have survived worse things, so who says you can’t survive this? You’re strong, and you’ll move on, nothing will pull you down.
17. Embrace your newfound independence and freedom
Don’t you remember how amazing and beautiful you really are? Keep that in mind and try to remember who you were before you started loving this person. You’re a free spirit again, and it’s time for you to rediscover loving life.
As soon as you start loving life and yourself again, good things are bound to happen. Don’t cry about someone not loving you, and remember that loving yourself is the most important thing. There’s no need for your life to revolve around this person who doesn’t even care about you.
Love life, embrace your newfound independence and freedom and know that true love waits for you in the future. Look at it this way, the sooner you stop loving the person who doesn’t love you, the sooner you’ll start loving someone who does.
18. Change your appearance
It’s natural to want a new start after a heartbreak. You want to start fresh, and it’s good that you feel that way because you have understood that you need to move on. Change your appearance, and it will give you what you need.
Do some shopping and change your wardrobe. Change your hairstyle. Celebrate the change by going to a karaoke bar with your friends and sing your worries away.
It doesn’t mean that you’ve become a different person, it’s all about having a new perspective on life. You’re still the same person, but stronger than you were. You might look even better than before, and it will make you feel like you can face any troubles life throws your way.
19. Get back to the dating world
It’s important to mention that this is not the step you should be taking while you still love that person. Dating while you haven’t still moved on could only result in a rebound relationship, and that’s not fair to anyone.
However, if you have moved on, feel free to get back to the dating world. It will help you regain your confidence, and it will make you feel alive again. You might even find your true love at the end… someone who will love you as much as you love them and more.
You deserve nothing less than that, so keep that in mind for the future. The best feeling in the world is when you love someone who loves you back, and you’ll soon get to experience it again. Good luck!