Relationships

7 Signs Of An Insecure Girlfriend (And How To Help Her)

7 Signs Of An Insecure Girlfriend (And How To Help Her)
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Written by Ana V.

Your love life won’t be so simple if you have an insecure girlfriend. Insecure women never show the amount of trust necessary for a healthy relationship. It’s hard to spot, and you might even think that it’s a good thing since it gives you the upper hand in that relationship.

Insecurity is never good, and a relationship with a very insecure girlfriend will be a challenge. Still, dealing with insecurity isn’t so hard when you really care about someone and you can learn how to help an insecure girlfriend and build her self-esteem.

This type of girl avoids confrontation but is constantly afraid that you will leave her. She worries that you’ll get tired of her insecurities and leave her because of them but she is also concerned that you’ll meet someone else who is better than her, as she sees every woman as a threat.

These women are often obsessed with their partner’s past relationships. As I said, every woman is a threat to this girl, and she always thinks some other woman is going to steal you away. That is why she flips out at the mention of your ex-girlfriends.

Don’t be surprised if this girl checks your phone from time to time; she just can’t help it as she has major trust issues and this is something that you will have to find a way to work on.

The point is that her life will revolve around you. You will be the center of her universe, and she will like anything you like. She will forget all about her friends because she wants to be focused on you.

The problem is that she’ll expect the same from you. She’ll want you all to herself, so she will try to alienate you from your friends and family. That isn’t healthy, and she needs to understand that both of you have to have a life outside of the relationship.

She will also analyze every single word that comes out of your mouth. What she really wants is to be the best thing that ever happened to you. She’ll always wonder what you mean when you say something, and you’ll have to work on building trust in the relationship.

This girl has baggage, but if you’re willing to give her a hand with that, she’ll love you like no one before. So, if you care about this girl, give her a chance and try to help her overcome her insecurities. Let’s find out all about it.

7 signs of an insecure girlfriend (and how to help her)

7 Signs Of An Insecure Girlfriend (And How To Help Her)

There will be signs that your girlfriend is insecure, so make sure to read on and find out all about them. Later on, I’ll tell you how to help an insecure girlfriend gain back her confidence. 

Dealing with insecurity might be hard, but it’s worth it when you have real love. So read these signs, and if it turns out your partner is insecure, learn how to deal with an insecure girlfriend. That is, of course, if you really love her, because as long as you do, it will be worth it.

Signs your girlfriend is insecure

1. She is jealous

7 Signs Of An Insecure Girlfriend (And How To Help Her)

A little jealousy is perfectly normal and it’s even proof that someone really cares about you a lot. Still, there’s a line, and if your partner crosses it, she might be an insecure girlfriend.

Does she suspect every woman of trying to steal you away from her? If she inserts herself into the conversations you have with other women, she is jealous and don’t be surprised when she accuses you of checking out some woman on the street.

When it comes to your phone conversations, she always wants to know who you’re talking to. Could it be the other woman? In her mind, it always is.

She will even check your call history and messages. All she wants is to be sure that you’re not talking to any other woman, and it will make her invade your privacy and don’t be surprised if she goes through your Internet history as well.

She will want to know your whereabouts at all times. Where are you? Who are you with? What are you doing? Be prepared to answer these questions multiple times every single day.

You have to admit, guys sometimes like it when a girl acts jealous; it’s flattering and makes you think that you’re special. Maybe you are special, but not so much that every other girl is out to steal you away from your insecure girlfriend.

Still, she believes that, and this jealousy is one of the signs your girlfriend is insecure. She obviously has trust issues and doesn’t trust you enough. Unless that changes, you won’t have a healthy relationship.

2. She constantly seeks validation

Do you love me? Am I pretty? Get ready for a lot of these annoying questions that will become a part of your daily life.

One of the signs your girlfriend is insecure is if she seeks constant validation. You will have to spend a lot of time reassuring her that you love her and that you aren’t going anywhere but will she believe you?

Maybe for a second, but the next day, the question, “Do you love me?” will pop up again. Let’s not forget the, “Am I pretty?” question because an insecure girlfriend needs a lot of compliments. 

You’ll find her blowing her own trumpet too so you will hear a lot of self-compliments come out of her mouth. She will sometimes call herself beautiful and tell you about how amazing she looks in her new dress. It’s like she wants you to think that you’re lucky to have her. Maybe she’ll even use those exact words. An insecure girlfriend is like that, and you have to learn how to deal with it if you love her.

3. She is very clingy

7 Signs Of An Insecure Girlfriend (And How To Help Her)

Obviously, an insecure girlfriend is too clingy. She will always try to stay close to you, and it will leave you without any privacy. It will seem like she will stick so close to you that you will melt into one person.

After all, it will seem like you’re the same person anyway and this is because your interests will become her interests. Everything you like, she likes, and all you cherish, she cherishes too.

That might seem interesting at first, but it’s a problem, and her insecurity causes it. She needs to learn to have a life outside of the relationship, as well as her own interests.

Another thing that you need to know is that an insecure girlfriend likes to visit unannounced. She will come by your place without giving you prior notice and that’s because she wants to catch you with another woman. Of course, there’s no other woman, but that’s always hard to believe when you’re an insecure girlfriend.

Depending on the frequency, these unannounced visits are a sign. In any case, you will have to learn how to deal with an insecure girlfriend and build trust in your relationship.

4. She gets easily offended and irritated

Does she flip out when you don’t respond to her text immediately or when you don’t answer your phone right away? She is already suspicious, so don’t try to joke with her because she’ll think it’s offensive.

You will never be able to bring up her flaws, and you’ll have to keep your recommendations to yourself. This type of girl can’t take even the smallest suggestion so any advice you might want to give her will be considered as criticism.

You surely mean well with what you have to say to her, but she’ll see a different meaning to it. When it comes to her advice, however, you have to listen to it as if you don’t, she’ll say you don’t really love her.

She will even be upset if you take someone else’s advice because it instantly makes her think of another woman. You’ll also hear a lot about how she feels left out whenever you do something without her so be prepared for a lot of guilt trips.

5. She wants to isolate you from your friends and family

7 Signs Of An Insecure Girlfriend (And How To Help Her)

Once an insecure girl enters a relationship, she forgets all about her friends. She will leave everyone behind to focus on her boyfriend, and she’ll expect her boyfriend to do the same.

It’s bad enough that she has neglected all of her other loved ones for you, she wants you to do the same so she’ll try to alienate you from your friends and family. She wants you all to herself, and she won’t let anyone else take you away from her.

This type of girl considers even your male friends to be a threat to her as they take away the time that you could spend with her.

Another thing about her attitude toward other people is that everyone has done her wrong. She is never the cause of a problem and never had anything to do with it. All she is is a victim, at least according to her.

6. She overreacts

It’s perfectly normal for partners to sometimes step on each other’s toes, they accept it and move on but this is not the case with insecure girls because they blow the issue out of proportion even more.

When she knows that she has overreacted, she will sound apologetic and all of a sudden, she will want to do you all sorts of favors in one day.

Other times, this girl will try to outsmart you. She sees your relationship as a competition, and she will want to win it. When she fails at that, or anything else for that matter, she will become introspective and generally feel like a mess. Just one error could make her whole week terrible and she will think that you’ll leave her because of it, and she will again need to be reassured.

Another useful thing that you should know about her is that she cares a lot about material things and if any of it suffered any damage, she would lose her mind.

7. She is pessimistic

Have you ever heard of insecurity making a person think positive thoughts? Well, of course not. This type of person always doubts everything and panics over things they shouldn’t worry about.

When she is unhappy, you can see the change in her face. She finds it hard to open up, so she keeps her emotions bottled up.

Despite all this, she wants to be in charge but struggling with leadership is a classic trait of insecure people.

She will want you to be the same as she is, even though she is an insecure mess. Your girlfriend doesn’t want you to express joy because she can’t.

She always has to have the last word, and she will remind you of every mistake you ever made. Still, you have to understand that her insecurity causes this but there might be a way to help her.

How to deal with an insecure girlfriend

7 Signs Of An Insecure Girlfriend (And How To Help Her)

1. Listen to her

The first piece of advice on how to deal with an insecure girlfriend is to listen to her when she is down. It’s really the best thing you can do. Don’t be busy with other things when she’s talking to you about what’s bothering her.

Be there for her to hear her out because that’s what she needs the most. Give her your full attention and really listen to her as it will help you understand her insecurity a little better.

You can work on adjusting your behavior according to it. What’s more, just by listening to her, you make her feel understood, and that could help with her insecurity.

2. Reassure her

7 Signs Of An Insecure Girlfriend (And How To Help Her)

When you’re dating an insecure girl, you have to reassure her that your feelings for her are strong. She will need to hear it from you often, especially when you’re spending less time together so if you are busy and you two can’t really talk much, make sure that she knows how much you love her. Letting her know that you love her every once in a while could do wonders for her confidence as it boosts her self-esteem and makes her feel secure in the relationship.

You have to understand that her insecurity causes her to forget how much she means to you so if you really love her, make sure you tell her that whenever you can.

3. Don’t make a big fuss about it

So, your girlfriend is insecure. I know you want to make a big deal out of it but don’t. She is already self-conscious about it, and if you make a big fuss about it, it could make things worse.

Acknowledge the fact that she’s insecure and move on. Don’t let this insecurity become the main focus of your relationship.

4. Make her feel needed

Start relying on her for things, as when you depend on her, it makes her feel needed. The moment she starts feeling more useful, she’ll start feeling more secure too.

Once you make her feel needed, she’ll realize that you actually do want her in your life and that will make her finally relaxed because she’ll believe that you love her.

5. Give her compliments

Don’t give too frequent and far-fetched compliments, because she won’t believe you. Make an effort to give her genuine compliments whenever you notice something great about her.

Avoid telling her that she’s the prettiest girl in the world all the time because she won’t believe that. Make sure that the compliments are deeper and not just surface level.

6. Find out what makes her feel loved

Every one of us has a different way of experiencing love. Some of us need compliments, while others need physical affection. What makes her feel loved? Find out and show her the type of love that she understands. Maybe it won’t come naturally to you, but it will help with her insecurity.

7. Communication is the key

Keeping the lines of communication open is the best thing you can do to make your girlfriend feel better. Simply start talking to her more; make sure she knows what’s going on with you and when you’ll see each other again.

Don’t wait for her to ask you how your day’s going, tell her yourself. It will make your relationship better, and it’s not so hard to do.

8. Show her physical affection

7 Signs Of An Insecure Girlfriend (And How To Help Her)

This piece of advice might sound a little weird, but you should initiate sex with your girlfriend. Of course, you already do that but do it more often.

Every time you initiate sex, it makes her feel like you love her and if she is the type of person who feels love from physical affection, this is especially true.

9. Take her out on dates

When was the last time you asked your girlfriend on a date, but really, in a formal way? You probably say something like, “Let’s grab something to eat,” instead.

Take her out on dates, and when you ask her, make it sound like it’s a big deal. It will prove to her that you really care about her and want to stay by her side.

10. Show your love in public

Make sure you show your girlfriend affection in public. It will make her feel really loved because the whole world will be able to see that you love her.

Anyone can show love in private, but can you show it for everyone else to see? It will really mean a lot to her and convince her that you’re in it for good.

11. Keep your promises

When you say you’re going to do something, do it. Stay true to your word and make it count for something.

She already has trouble trusting you, so if you show her that you’re not dependable, it could get even worse. It will make her question everything you ever said to her, it will hurt her, and she’ll be even more insecure.

12. Do nice things for her

Always kiss her goodbye and tell her when you like what she’s wearing or make an effort to stop by the store on your way home to buy her favorite candy. Do all the little things that mean so much to her.

After all, it’s the accumulation of little things that end up making us feel loved and appreciated. If you do little things to make her happy, it will make her more secure in the relationship and all that insecure girls really need is to feel secure in their relationship.

13. Take an interest in her life

This one is really simple. All you really have to do is ask her about her job, friends, or family. Start taking an interest, even in the things that you used to find boring.

Of course, when you are in a relationship, it goes without saying that you should be interested in your partner’s life but in the case of an insecure girl, it’s even more important to show that.

14. Avoid doing anything that upsets her

7 Signs Of An Insecure Girlfriend (And How To Help Her)

Your girlfriend might not like going to a certain restaurant because the waitresses wear revealing clothes. It might seem silly to you, but respect that and don’t go there.

Avoid the things that you know will upset her. If she freaks out when she can’t reach you, make sure you keep your phone charged as this is a way of making an insecure girl happy.

No one said it would be easy, but making it a priority to keep her happy will make her less insecure and it will certainly make her happier.

15. Offer your help

Ask your girlfriend how you can help her. Make her see how much she means to you and then ask her if there is any way you can help her.

If you are genuinely concerned and you ask her how you can help, she’ll be honest and tell you how. She will have directions for you, and as long as you follow them, you’ll make everything easier for her.

16. Check whether you are also insecure

You are so focused on her, and now you know all the things you can do to help her with her insecurity… but how about you? Are you insecure as well?

Check out our other article to read the signs of an insecure man as it will show you whether you have the same problem as your insecure girlfriend. Good luck!

7 signs of insecure girlfriend (and how to help her)

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