Whether it’s his co-worker, a younger woman, or a married woman, he talks about her all the time. On the other hand, maybe he doesn’t mention her at all because he’s cheating on you. Maybe he loves you, but you see signs that he loves the other woman more.
Sometimes a man cheats when he starts spending less time with you because he isn’t ready for a committed relationship. When he talks about her all the time, it’s a hard way to find out there is more than one woman in his life. Maybe there is a distance between you and it’s because of this or spending less time with you that made him fall for the other woman.
Whatever the case is, if he loves you, you should be the only woman in his life. If he isn’t ready for a committed relationship, you haven’t found your true love this time. Real life isn’t always like the movies, and not every relationship we have can be real love.
Right now, you have to ask yourself whether this is an emotional affair or a physical relationship that they’re having. Whether it’s his co-worker, a younger woman, a married woman, or a close friend, he has a choice to make. Either he will break up with her, or he will break up with you.
There is room for only one woman in his life so if you see signs that he loves the other woman, be prepared for a break-up. If it’s real love, he will prove it to you by ending things with her and making amends for how he has hurt you.
If you suspect your married man of being a cheater, be sure to read our other article as well. Still, this article applies to married men as well. Let’s look at the signs that he loves the other woman, and find out the truth.
15 signs he loves the other woman
1. He gets defensive when you ask him simple questions
Men cheat, but they feel guilty about it too. One of the warning signs is when innocent questions seem like accusations to him and this is because he has something to hide.
You can test this by asking him pretty simple questions such as: “What do you plan to do after work?” or, “Which friends did you watch the game with?” or, “Why do you lately always have to work late?”
Make sure you don’t ask him this in a tone that is accusatory, because it should just sound curious and that all you’re asking him about is his day. If he has nothing to hide, he will answer openly and honestly.
However, if he’s hiding the fact that he’s cheating on you, he could respond in an aggressive or irritated manner. This is because a cheater has a guilty conscience and thinks you’re on to him so pay attention to this warning sign.
2. His friends act differently around you
Your man might not show signs that he loves the other woman, but his friends will give you the red flags you’re looking for. The truth is, he has most likely confided in his close friends, and they may have even met the other woman. In any case, they know more about it than you do.
Of course, they will try to stay loyal to him so they won’t tell you directly about it but they will show telltale signs and won’t be able to hide them. It’s a hard way to find out your man is having an emotional or physical affair, but his friends will act differently around you. This is because they feel guilty too. So, if a friend of his who has been kind to you has now started to ignore you, it’s a red flag. If your man is a cheater, his friends know about it, and they will show you with their behavior.
3. He can’t help but talk about her
Of course, he won’t mention her to you as the woman he is having an affair with… but her name will come up, and maybe even quite often.
When you first fall in love with someone, you think it’s true love, and you can’t help but talk about them. If he wasn’t in love with her, he wouldn’t talk about her in the first place.
Why would he want you to know about the woman he’s cheating with? It just slips out, and it’s one of the signs that he loves the other woman. He will try to hide his affair; of course, this is because he doesn’t want you to know about her in the first place but when he falls in love with her, he won’t help but talk about her. After all, she is always on his mind.
If your man is showing signs that he loves the other woman, I’m betting that you already know her name; you just might not be aware that he is seeing her.
4. He is on his phone all the time
It seems like the text messages and social media notifications never stop coming. Your man is either texting or checking his social media, and doesn’t share anything about it with you. He is always on his phone, and you catch him smiling while texting, but he doesn’t let you go near his phone.
Who do you think those text messages are from? Why don’t you ask him and see what he will say? However, don’t pay so much attention to what he says but how he says it. Notice his reaction and how the expression on his face changes.
When his phone is blowing up, and he doesn’t let you near it, it’s one of the telltale signs. If you two have a long-distance relationship, just notice how much time he has for texting you now. Notice how fast he responds compared to before to know if he’s texting someone else at the same time.
5. He avoids eye contact
You can’t take your eyes off of the person you love, even if you have been together for years so if your partner is avoiding eye contact, something’s up.
This is a common sign of an emotional affair, which we talked more about in our other article. Basically, it means that he doesn’t yet have a physical relationship with this woman but that doesn’t make much difference since it means he has feelings for her.
Whether it’s because he is so focused on her, or because he feels guilty, he won’t look you in the eyes. Instead, he will always try to look away, like he is hiding something… Well, that’s because he is.
6. He dresses differently
A woman will often comment on what her man is wearing and, naturally, he tries to wear what she likes. He is in love, so he wants to look attractive to the woman he cares about. But which one is that?
If he is showing signs that he loves the other woman, she has probably commented on his clothes so he will try wearing the ones she has complimented. He will start dressing differently because he will want to look the way she likes him to look.
Nevertheless, the change doesn’t end with his clothes. Maybe your man has always been clean-shaven, but is now growing a beard. Still, be careful not to get carried away with this. Just changing his style isn’t a sure sign of infidelity but if he shows other signs that he loves the other woman, you can count this as an additional one.
7. He doesn’t want to have sex anymore
All couples have the need for intimacy so if something has changed in your sex life and he isn’t really interested in it anymore, it’s a problem.
However, let’s not focus only on sex. Consider the amount of physical affection in your relationship. Do you still kiss goodbye, cuddle and hug?
If he is showing a big lack of interest in expressing physical affection, it’s a problem. It might mean that he is getting his needs for intimacy satisfied somewhere else.
8. He needs a lot of privacy
You have to realize the difference between healthy boundaries and secrecy. It’s perfectly normal if your man needs some privacy but extreme privacy that seems more like secrecy is something else.
Does he lock himself in rooms? Is his computer password protected? Does he freak out when you touch his phone?
If he is secretive and overly protective of his phone, he is hiding something from you. When did he start needing so much privacy?
9. He makes excuses
Be prepared for a lot of lame excuses as to why he has been unavailable or late. So, maybe he has a busy life, but if he covers up his absence with really lame excuses, it’s one of the signs that he loves the other woman.
Are his excuses unsubstantiated or feeble? Does he sound panicked or rushed when he explains where he has been? These are definitely signs he has something to hide.
Try to catch him in a lie. See how he will wiggle his way out of it.
10. He is not happy when he’s with you
He probably doesn’t seem that thrilled to be with you, and it’s most likely because he would prefer to be with someone else. It’s not easy to fake that you want to be with one person when you actually want to be with another one.
Another fact is that guys aren’t really that good at pretending that they are happy when they are in love with someone else. If he’s being unfaithful, your man will have a noticeable lack of enthusiasm when he’s with you and this is one of the signs that he loves the other woman.
11. He doesn’t make small gestures anymore
Maybe he used to bring you flowers twice a month, just because… or he used to make you pancakes on Sunday morning, just the way you like them. Small gestures are something all couples make, and it makes the relationship happy so if your man has stopped doing the things he used to do, it might be because he is in love with someone else. Still, it might be that he has just gotten lazy, so don’t jump to conclusions just yet. Consider the other signs. If they are telling you that your man loves the other woman, count not doing little things anymore as one more.
12. He doesn’t share things with you anymore
Does your boyfriend still share important moments of his day with you? Can you two still have a serious conversation? If your boyfriend isn’t willing to share anymore, it’s because he has someone else to talk to.
Still, if he has always been like that, this isn’t a sure sign. However, if you two used to share everything with each other and he has stopped, it’s a problem. If you now have only small talk and superficial conversations, he isn’t interested in this relationship anymore.
13. There’s no chemistry between you two
There’s no spark in your relationship anymore, which happens after the honeymoon phase because you get settled into a long-term relationship. Still, there should be some chemistry between you two even then.
If you have noticed that there’s no chemistry between the two of you lately, there’s definitely something wrong. One of the possible explanations is that he has fallen in love with the other woman.
14. He lies to you
If your man is unfaithful, he is going to start lying to you and the lies will start even before he actually does something wrong. As soon as he starts feeling things he shouldn’t feel, he will try to hide them and lie to you about them.
So, if you see that your boyfriend is lying to you, it could be because he has fallen in love with the other woman. The lies are just going to pile up before you get him to finally confess.
15. He finds excuses to touch her
If this woman is someone you know, you will notice him making excuses to touch her in any way. It might be a hug or a high-five, but he will definitely make an effort to engage in physical contact with this woman.
A guy is like that when he likes a girl, he wants to touch her even if it’s in a most innocent way so if your boyfriend can’t keep his hands to himself when he’s around her, he’s fallen for her.