Do you suspect that your loved one is a bitter person? The first time you notice it, you should confront the bitterness head-on. Whether it’s because of heartbreaks or some other hard times, some people have become chronically bitter.
They have a negative attitude and negative emotions, which drive happy people away, and that includes good men. Happy people take care of their own lives with positivity and care about their well-being but what are the habits of bitter people?
One example is that they find it hard to see another person’s point of view. People who have been on the receiving end of such a bitter person know how their words can hurt. Chronically bitter people will give you a hard time, especially if they are your loved one.
Their negative attitude and negative emotions will maybe even convince you that there aren’t any good men left but that’s just the point of view of a bitter individual who had a lot of heartbreaks. The first time you find yourself on the receiving end of a bitter person, you’ll realize that they don’t have the positivity it takes to find a good man.
It’s time to tackle the bitterness head-on. You need to take care of your well-being and your own life and in order to do that, it’s important that you know the characteristics of a bitter person as well as how to deal with one.
It will help you understand the bad habits of bitter people so you won’t fall into that trap. This article will teach you the meaning of a bitter person so read on and find out everything there is about bitter individuals.
10 characteristics of a bitter person (and how to deal with them)
This article is here to help you recognize a person who is bitter as well as to find a way to help them change. If you read on, you’ll realize that these people are not so nice, and it’s not an easy task to help them. Still, if someone you love is bitter, don’t lose hope… because all it takes is a little self-love and the love of others to change a life.
Bitter people are drowning in their own negativity, but most of the time, they aren’t really aware of it so it takes a lot of effort to help this person change, but it will be worth it when you see them become happy.
Such people aren’t happy at all, they don’t like the happiness of others either and they are incapable of celebrating the accomplishments of others. This is because they don’t have accomplishments of their own and that is why they are so jealous of others and use gossip as a way to make themselves feel better.
Such people hold grudges they need to let go of in order to advance. All it really takes is for them to forgive those who have hurt them and stop blaming the world for the fact that they got hurt.
I hope that this article will help you have a better understanding of what the world looks like through the eyes of bitter people. If you want to help someone stop being bitter, you have to first understand what being bitter is all about and that is why I have prepared for you all the information you need to know about people like this. You will learn their definition, characteristics, and ways to help them.
Being bitter causes only unhappiness… and the sooner your bitter friend realizes that, the better. Let them read this article to get a better understanding of what they are going through. They need to realize that they have to change in order to be a happy person who is fun to be around. Read on and discover all about it.
Bitter person definition
The definition of a bitter person is that it’s a person who has feelings of resentment and deep anger. The truth is, bitterness is all about hate and anger so a bitter person seems as if they are always pissed off at everything and everyone. However, the reason why they are like that is often because of something from the past that has hurt them; for example, a bad relationship.
Bitter women don’t believe that there are good men out there, so be careful not to become one of them. Bitterness can cause a lot of harm and even destroy relationships.
The interesting thing about being bitter is that you believe others have a problem, not you so it’s not easy to explain to a bitter person that they are actually the one with the problem. Still, all is not lost because you can learn how to deal with a bitter person but first, let’s see the characteristics of one to know what we are dealing with.
Characteristics of a bitter person
1. They make generalizations
Remember the bitter person definition? As I said, a part of the meaning of a bitter person is that such people have become that way because of some bad experiences in the past.
Still, how do we explain that they are not just angry with the one who has hurt them but at everyone and everything? The answer lies in generalization. For example, if the bitter person is a woman who has been hurt by bad men, she won’t believe that there are good men out there.
Depending on the experiences which caused them to become bitter, such people could be angry at a whole group of people; it could be all women, all men, all those who have a certain profession or even some ethnic group. And it’s all because of an experience they had with one individual from one of the afore-mentioned groups.
Nevertheless, a bitter person might not just be angry at a group of people but literally at everyone on the planet; such people think everyone is against them and they are scared of getting hurt. It isn’t hard to recognize a bitter person.
One of the bad habits of a bitter person is that they will judge someone without trying to understand the situation or the circumstances so they will make sweeping statements that will show you that.
2. They hold grudges
Every one of us gets angry from time to time but arguments normally get forgotten, or the misunderstandings get cleared up. Even when that doesn’t happen, we understand that holding grudges is a waste of time and energy, so we let go. That’s not the case with a bitter person.
One of the characteristics of a bitter person is that they hold grudges and they won’t let go of something even if everyone else involved has forgotten all about it.
The explanation for this lies in the fact that such people feel like they are suffering unfairly. They have so much anger and hate inside them that they feel better when they make someone else suffer; it makes them feel like they are not the only one who is suffering unfairly so they get their justice by hurting others. That is why grudges are so important to them; it’s like they feed on anger and hatred, and that is a very sad life.
3. They are narcissistic
It seems like these people really like the sound of their own voice. What happened to them is their favorite topic to talk about so don’t be surprised if this person doesn’t ask questions about what’s going on in your life.
They like complaining the most; for example, they will complain about what has happened to them, what someone said… or generally the state of the world and how it negatively affects them. Such people are actually narcissists; you can read more about them in our other articles.
Everything is always about them, and they will enjoy complaining. You might hear about how there aren’t any good men out there and such toxic statements will drive you into their negativity, which is hard to shake off. That is why these people are not good company. They are actually emotionally needy and that neediness causes them to be selfish and detached. In the end, all they really care about is what’s in it for them.
4. They are jealous
This is the type of person who will never be truly happy for you. They will never applaud your success or congratulate you on your accomplishments; instead, they will be jealous of you. They are incapable of being happy for others, including when their colleague gets a promotion, when their single friend finds a partner or when anything good happens in someone else’s life…
They would just be jealous that it didn’t happen to them. The thing is, they are so obsessed with themselves and their own life and so miserable that they can’t be happy for others.
Such jealousy is toxic, and no one wants to be around a person like that. Who would want to hang out with someone who can’t be happy for you but is instead jealous? That is a really lousy way to treat others, and such people are, in fact, miserable. The jealousy they feel will only drive people away from them and the sad part is that they won’t even know that something’s wrong with them.
5. They make no changes
Sure, they will be jealous of your success, but will they lift a finger to achieve success of their own? No, because these people never put effort into changing something in their life. They will certainly think that they are the one who should be getting the promotion, or getting engaged, not you, but will they do anything about it? No, they will just wait for things to fall into their lap.
This is one of the characteristics of bitter people that makes it almost impossible for you to help them. How can you help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves? Instead of trying to get a promotion or get engaged, they will just hate you for being the one who accomplished it. That is why it’s so hard to deal with such people. Not only will they never be happy for you, but they will also never make an effort to make themselves happy; instead, they will just fuel themselves with anger and hate even more.
6. They need attention
This person is not someone who will keep how they feel to themselves. When they feel like life isn’t treating them fairly, they will need you to justify their feelings with reassurance and sympathy and this is because they know that their feelings aren’t actually justified. They just feel like life is unfair to them, and they will want everyone’s attention when that happens.
You will have to listen to a lot of complaints and ‘proof’ that life isn’t fair. While we’re on the topic, go ahead and read our article on why life is unfair, as it might help your bitter friend realize that they can do something about it.
However, don’t get your hopes up, because all these people want is your attention. They aren’t really ready to actually go ahead and make a change in their life.
7. They don’t take advice
No matter how much you want to help this person, you have to understand that they don’t really want your help. It’s hard for them to accept advice even from people who genuinely care about them.
They love to complain, though, but if you try to offer a piece of advice, they will become defensive. The truth is that they are so focused on the people they feel are out to get them that they become blind to the people who actually want to help them.
So, if you want to help a bitter friend stop being bitter, it will take a lot more than simply giving them advice. If these people were open to advice, they wouldn’t be so miserable in the first place. Still, making them realize that will be a tough challenge.
8. They don’t hang around cheerful people
You might think that everyone wants to be around happy, optimistic, and cheerful people but you’re wrong. Bitter people don’t want to be around those who are happy as it only makes them confront their negativity, and that’s something they aren’t ready for.
That is why they will go out of their way to avoid people who are optimistic and cheerful. It might mean that they will become asocial so they will sit around the house depressed about the unfairness of life instead of socializing and actually living it.
Everyone wants to be surrounded by those similar to them. Happy, cheerful, and optimistic people are the exact opposite of those who are bitter so naturally, they don’t get along.
The truth about bitter people is that they don’t want to change the fact that they are bitter but they don’t want to face it either so they will avoid anyone who makes them do that with their positivity.
9. They don’t congratulate others
If you want to be around someone who will say, “Well done,” and give you a thumbs up, keep searching. Bitter people are incapable of congratulating others on their accomplishments and this is because of their jealousy that I mentioned earlier. The sad truth is that they would much rather like to see you fail than succeed. Yes, they are that jealous.
People who are bitter will never be happy for you and they will never congratulate you. Even if they do, they won’t really mean it and will actually hate you. You can sense this when they try to act happy because they can’t really hide how jealous they actually are.
10. They gossip
Whether you like it or not, bitter people actually feed on the misery of others. They want all the juicy details about how others have failed so they can spread the word, which is the exact opposite of congratulating someone. Instead of congratulating those who have accomplished something, they will be happy because of those who have failed. They love gossiping, and you’ll find them spreading the latest rumor about a co-worker.
It is so important to them that others don’t have a better life than they do that they will be happy if you fail and sad if you succeed. Such toxic people love stories about others who have done something wrong and they look forward to telling everyone about them.
How to deal with a bitter person
It might be awful being around a bitter person, but can you imagine how awful it is to be one? Their life can’t be good until they face their demons. What they really need is to forgive; they need to forgive those who have hurt them and forgive life that has been treating them unfairly. Only once they let go will they start to really live.
That doesn’t mean that they should forget about everything and pretend everything is fine; it’s about letting go of the desire to get revenge. They need to realize that they can’t change the fact they got hurt by hurting others. If nothing works, there’s always professional help but let’s see what else you should do.
1. Don’t share sensitive information with them
This is not a person to confide in. The sensitive information you give them will only turn into gossip. No matter how much you love this person, you have to keep in mind the characteristics of such people as I told you above.
This is not a person who will give you the caring reaction you are searching for. Remember that even if they care about you, they would still much rather see you fail than succeed so before you try to help them, make sure you keep yourself safe by not sharing your secrets with such a person.
2. Make it clear that you don’t want to hear their complaints
Remember that these people are only looking for those they can complain to so be careful not to become their shoulder to cry on. Make it clear that you’re not one of the people who wants to listen to their compliments, otherwise you’ll soon realize that their negativity is contagious and it might make you feel negative yourself. Protect yourself because you’re not helping anyone if the bitterness rubs off on you.
3. Be polite but don’t agree with them
We tend to nod along when people are expressing their opinions… even when we don’t fully agree with what they are saying. Don’t do this with a person who is bitter. You can always find a polite way to tell them that you disagree with their opinion. Don’t fall into the trap of agreeing with what they are saying just to avoid getting into an argument with them.
4. If you care about them, talk to them
The above-mentioned things work great when the bitter person is a casual acquaintance or a co-worker but when it’s a close friend of yours, a family member, or your partner, you might not want to treat them that way. There’s still something you can do about it if you want to help them though. Find the courage to sit down and talk to them about their bitterness and how they can improve themselves.
Still, be prepared that they won’t take it as well as you would want them to. Also, be aware that you’re not asking them to do something that’s easy for them but if you approach all of this with tact and love, you might succeed in getting them to see your point.
It’s important that they understand that you are there to help them and that you get the pain they are going through. They need to know that you’re there for them and that the life they are living right now isn’t a happy one.
It could be true that they are not fully aware of the state they are in and they might even act surprised when you confront them about their bitterness. It’s possible to be bitter and not aware of it, so keep that in mind while you explain things to them. All it takes is a little self-love and love from those around them to change everything but they will have to want to change for the change to actually take place. Good luck!