So, you were in a toxic, abusive relationship with a narcissistic ex. That narcissistic relationship had you suffer through the gaslighting of a manipulator… and maybe even domestic violence. But now you are ready to start a better life and move on. Still, you can’t help but wonder, do narcissists care if you move on? It’s time for you to gain back control for the first time after a narcissistic relationship and be sure to read our article on what happens when you ignore a narcissist as well.
Let’s first consider why you want to know in the first place do narcissists care if you move on. The fact that you are still thinking about your narcissistic ex shows that you haven’t really started to move on yourself. Just remember all those mind games, love bombing, hoovering, and gaslighting that you had to go through in your abusive relationship. Be sure that none of that narcissistic behavior has changed. Still, if you do get an answer to the question do narcissists care if you move on, it might help you finally move on.
Do narcissists care if you move on?
The truth is, even though a narcissist isn’t an empath, he is missing his narcissistic supply and therefore feels bad. If he knows that you are still wondering about the whole thing that happened between you two, his self-worth will be over the top. A narcissist feels important and wants his narcissistic supply back. He won’t hesitate to use gaslighting, love bombing, mind games, and hoovering to get back control, when you are trying to find a better life.
Don’t hesitate to get a restraining order if he is acting like a psychopath and don’t forget that he is a skilled manipulator who will harm your mental health. The no contact rule is necessary for at least a short time after the break-up. You need time to rediscover your true self and gain back your self-esteem. If it’s codependency that is tempting you to make up with this sociopath, read our article about what interdependent relationships are.
As a human being, you deserve much more than to become some narcissist’s ex and trust trust me, a narcissistic personality rarely gets cured, so he is not going to change. You must prolong the no contact period for as long as possible for him to understand that you aren’t going to take his narcissistic behavior anymore. The answer to your question of if a narcissist cares is yes… but only about himself. He will never love you the way you deserve and you don’t have to be in an abusive relationship.
If you have experienced domestic violence with this man, don’t even consider making up. No matter how much he texts you, give him the silent treatment. Remember that the no contact rule is there for your best interests. You don’t want to become his ex- who will have to get a restraining order against a psychopath. The first time you experience emotional abuse from a sociopath like that should be the last time as well. You don’t want all the love bombing, hoovering, or gaslighting to return.
If you are not familiar with the term gaslighting, it is a type of emotional abuse where he convinces you that your perception of reality is false. No empath would ever do that, but a narcissist feels it is his right. So, when you wonder about him, just remember the reasons you broke up in the first place because none of those reasons have changed. If you keep torturing yourself with the question of do narcissists care if you move on, you are never going to be in a healthy relationship.
Stop asking yourself if narcissists care and realize that they care only about themselves. It is the only way for you to end a toxic relationship and make room for a healthy one. Codependency and emotional abuse will never get you where you want to be. Have your family members help you preserve your mental health and improve your self-esteem.
Do narcissists care?
Before we get to the signs that show that narcissists care, let me first prepare you for what you can expect when you break up with a narcissist. When a psychopath breaks up with you, it feels sudden and brutal, and he will come back only if he wants something but if you are lucky enough to be the one who has said enough to the narcissistic behavior, be prepared for a lot of begging and convincing you to stay. However, don’t confuse that with love, because the only reason why he wants you to stay is because he isn’t done with you. He also needs his narcissistic supply because of his narcissistic personality disorder.
Don’t believe this sociopath when he tells you that he will change because he won’t. Also, don’t give in to your codependency because you don’t want to go through the emotional abuse again. The only thing that you’ll achieve by staying is to become his bitter ex. Give him the silent treatment instead and establish the no contact rule and no contact really means no contact whatsoever. That means no phone calls, no texting, and no contact on social media either. Block him on social media, at least for a short time.
Even if you have left some things at his place, the whole thing about silent treatment still applies. Those things are a small price to pay for rediscovering your true self as well as your self-worth. And while you’re blocking people on social media, block his family members as well. It might be harsh, but what do you need his family members for? They will only be a reminder of him, and he might even try to contact you through them.
Now’s the time for you to remember why you broke up with that narcissistic human being in the first place. Remember how he made you doubt your self-worth… and the domestic violence that could have happened if it hasn’t yet. Don’t think of the good times, but remember his narcissistic behavior that pushed you away. To find a new relationship, you have to cut the strings that are tying you to this one. Toxic relationships will never make you happy, and if you don’t believe me, read our article about them.
Be prepared that your narcissistic boyfriend will move on fast… and you will see him with someone else very soon. This is because a person with a narcissistic personality disorder has insincere emotions so he probably didn’t love you anyway. But what you should do about it is simply wish him good luck. At least you won’t be the one facing the narcissistic abuse anymore; his new relationship is just about finding a new victim for this abuse anyway. Do narcissists care? About having someone to abuse, yes, they do.
The next step is to embrace the grief. Grieving is only natural, and it’s a path to recovery. Still, try to remind yourself that your feelings are actually based on something false. Do narcissists care if you move on? They feel bad, but it’s not because they care about you; it’s only because they have lost a victim who will take their narcissistic abuse. Wish him good luck with that and let go. The only thing he deserves from you is the silent treatment. You will soon find a new relationship that will make you see that you shouldn’t tolerate narcissistic abuse. Toxic relationships can only make you slowly lose yourself… until you can’t fully recover. So be happy that you have finally said enough to narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships.
Now that you have gone through your grieving period, it’s time for you to focus on yourself. Do things that make you happy and if he tries to interfere with your happiness, just give him the silent treatment. You don’t have to take narcissistic abuse anymore, so you are free to enjoy your life. The no contact rule will allow you to do it without distractions. You have been putting up with narcissistic behavior long enough and now it’s time for you to put yourself first. After all, he always puts himself first, and even did when you were in a relationship.
After you spend some time away from his narcissistic behavior and work on yourself, you will realize that relationships aren’t supposed to be that way. We tend to forget that when we are blinded by love and in a toxic relationship long enough. My ex also had a narcissistic personality disorder and his narcissistic behavior drove me crazy, but I didn’t know any better… until I finally broke up with him and found a nice guy. That nice guy showed me what a relationship should be like, and I am now happily married to him.
Are you still wondering do narcissists care if you move on? How about if narcissists care about their family? The thing is, the answer to this is the same as if they care about anyone who loves them and the answer is very simple; they care about the people who love them as much as I care about my laptop; it is useful to me. A narcissist feels like the people who love him are useful to him, and that is the only reason he cares about them. It’s one of the traits of a narcissist.
So, do narcissists care if you move on? They may feel bad and will try to get you back if they need you but that doesn’t mean they ever really loved you. A narcissist feels love only for himself, so if your ex is showing narcissistic traits, don’t worry much about him after the break-up. And believe me when I tell you that his narcissistic behavior is never going to change but if you still want to find out if he still cares, read these signs that he does.
1. He constantly tries to contact you
Like a mosquito gets thirsty for blood, a person who has a narcissistic personality disorder will get thirsty for attention; that is why he might start calling and texting you constantly. His diminished ego needs feeding so you can expect him to call you out of the blue in the middle of the night. A narcissist feels the need to get you to stop your silent treatment. What you should do about it is block his number. Even better, if you can, change your number instead and that way, you can be sure that he won’t bother you. Of course, you don’t want to let that narcissistic behavior back into your life.
Do narcissists care if you move on? Yes, because you are denying them what they want and they always have to get what they want. But you don’t need to have narcissistic people in your life. They will never give you what you need. Instead, they will only care about what’s good for them. That isn’t the way relationships are supposed to work, and you will soon realize it. This guy will only drag you down. Delete his number or change yours. It is for your own good.
2. He stalks your social media profiles
The thing about social media is that it is easy, simple and available and that is exactly what a narcissistic person is looking for. Your narcissistic ex will stalk your profiles and will like and comment on your posts to confuse you. It is just another one of his manipulation techniques. He wants your attention back and will not stop until he gets it, unless, of course, you stop him. You can do so by blocking him as well as his friends and family. Realize that you don’t need to have any connection with this guy. You have dealt with his narcissistic personality disorder long enough. Don’t let him bother you anymore.
I have already mentioned that you should block him and leave no option for him to contact you. Trust me that it is the best thing you can do for your future. You don’t want to get tempted to go back to him. His narcissistic traits haven’t magically disappeared, and nor will they. You have to accept that fact in order to let go and start moving on. Stop asking yourself do narcissists care if you move on as you shouldn’t care whether he cares. A narcissistic person like him isn’t capable of caring the way you want him to… the way you deserve him to.
3. He pleads and begs for you to take him back
Don’t be surprised if your narcissistic ex temporarily lowers his self-respect and starts begging. This is only because it is a worthwhile investment for him because he will get it back tenfold later so it won’t be a problem for him to go through the humiliation of pleading and begging for your attention. Don’t think that it means he loves you. He cares, but it isn’t love that he feels. All he feels is a lack of supply and he wants you to start providing him with it again. The truth is, it isn’t like with other break-ups when the person feels sorry about losing you; your narcissistic ex is just using one of his manipulation techniques again.
All he really wants is to feed his ego and he also wants to control you again. So, don’t believe his lies that things are going to be different this time around. He won’t hesitate to try to convince you that he has changed but he hasn’t, and he never will. Everything will be easier once you finally accept that fact. He wants to gain your trust again but all he wants it for is so he can revert back to his destructive ways that drove you away. Don’t let him drag you into his darkness once again. You deserve so much better than to be someone’s puppet.
4. He interferes in your new love life
A guy who really loves you would let you be happy with someone else if you can’t be with him but this guy doesn’t know what love is. So, he will start interfering with your love life as soon as you meet someone new. He is basically like a child who wants to play with a toy as soon as another kid takes it. Maybe he didn’t even want you to begin with, but now that he sees that he can’t have you, he wants you more than ever. Don’t be surprised when he tries to ruin your new love life. He will try to break up you and your new boyfriend and get you back but his intentions aren’t to treat you better, just to keep abusing you like he did before. So, whatever you do, don’t let him ruin your chances of finding true love.
You deserve to have a healthy, happy relationship with someone who will genuinely love and appreciate you, which is something you could never have with a narcissistic boyfriend. All you have to do is stick to your decision and not return to him. The rest will follow itself and you will see how a relationship is supposed to look and you will be proud of yourself for not settling for anything less than what you deserve.
5. He stalks you
Your narcissistic ex might even start stalking you. You will find him in the places you go to, such as restaurants and coffee shops but don’t be surprised if you run into him in the street as well. He might even show up at the place where you work with some lame excuse. Don’t be fooled when he starts pretending that he is shocked to see you. There is nothing shocking about it except the fact that he would go as far as stalking you. He will try to present himself as a new, changed person but don’t buy into his lies. After all, no one can change that much that fast.
If this is happening to you, avoid that man like your life depends on it. Don’t stop to talk to him even for a second. If he takes it too far, you can always tell his family about it and if that doesn’t help, you can always involve the police. But first, tell him directly and clearly that you don’t intend to be with him ever again, no matter what he does. Tell him that he should never contact you again because you don’t want anything to do with him and if that isn’t enough, inform him that you are going to call the police the next time you catch him stalking you. He needs to know that you are onto him and that he can’t fool you.
6. He talks badly about you to his friends and yours
Well, this is something that generally happens after a break-up. Couples who break up tend to start a post-break-up war, where they each bad-mouth their ex-partner to their friends. They will each blame their partner for everything and generally talk badly about them and it will seem like their partner is to blame for all the problems they had in the relationship. But after a short while, each of them cools down and stops this behavior. Which brings us to narcissists because this is not the case if your ex is a narcissist…
A narcissist’s bruised ego will force him to continue this trash-talking even after a couple of weeks because these types of men are like babies. They tend to throw a huge tantrum whenever things aren’t going their way, and they don’t get what they want. What’s more, they will blame everyone but themselves for their problems. Be prepared that your friends are about to hear a lot of lies about you and only a few partial truths. This manipulative baby will do everything in his power to win the sympathy of your friends and turn them against you. Don’t let him do that! You are finally ready to start a new life and find true love. Good luck!