I don’t know when people started to be so afraid of feelings but people are afraid to care. We always pretend that we don’t have feelings for other people, and we treat them as dispensable. We pretend that we are okay with something casual when we want something serious. We play love games and manipulate each other to get what we want. We wait to respond to messages just so the other person wouldn’t figure out that we actually care about them. We are afraid that someone will leave us once they see how much we care. So we try to play it cool and wear our mask that hides our true feelings.
But one day our mask has to fall and once we meet someone whom we want to stay with us forever, we get afraid that they will see through our mask. So we hide our true feelings even more in order to avoid getting hurt. We are actually afraid that they are going to leave as soon as they see our real face that actually care about them deeply. So we play games and pretend that we are cold-hearted but that heart melts inside us, and it might come out of our eyes in the form of tears and we think we can’t let ourself show such a weakness.
And why? Because we are afraid of putting ourself out there with our heart in our hand, open and vulnerable. All of us have been hurt before, and our heart remembers those scars very well. That is why it hides from those we want to give it to because once you give somebody your heart, they can do whatever they want with it. And we are afraid that they will step on it and break it, like it’s made of glass because we actually care too much. But it’s about time that somebody told you it’s okay. It’s okay to care too much.
I always cared too much about everyone and everything in my life, so you don’t need me to tell you how many times I got badly hurt. But that one time I didn’t was worth all those times I did because now I get to care too much and openly show it, knowing that my loved one would never take advantage of it. By caring too much, I have found someone who cares just as much as I do and we now care for each other deeply and openly. I am glad that I got over my fear of getting hurt because it allowed me to freely be who I really am.
And I really am someone who cares too much. When I love someone, I don’t wait for them to tell me they love me first, so I am breaking all the rules of dating just so I can freely care. That is considered a sin in modern times when everyone is pretending; they are pretending that they are independent, strong and confident… when all they really want is someone to cuddle with while watching Netflix but they would rather have that taken away from them than admit that they need it.
We are so focused on creating these facades and building these walls to prevent everyone from seeing what’s inside that we have forgotten who we really are. It is only human to care, and I for one couldn’t live a life where I wasn’t allowed to. Emotions are what makes us human and what prove to us that we are alive so why do we run from them and hide them like they are shameful?
This is because in rare cases when we open our heart to others, we get let down and it hurts so badly that we think that we are going to die. So we promise ourself never to care that much about anyone else ever again and to never show it under any circumstances if we do. Because we would rather choose life without pain, even when it means life without love but we are never going to experience true love if we keep doing this. We have to understand that pain is a part of life, and it is a part of love as well. And the thing is, it’s worth it. Having someone to love with all of our heart is worth the risk of getting hurt because one day we are going to find a person who won’t hurt us but love us even more for showing how much we care.
It happened to me, so why wouldn’t it happen to you? And trust me, before it happened, I got hurt a lot. I even thought I was never going to heal. But the thing is, that’s just life, and every time you fall, you have to get the strength to get up and keep moving. You might make the mistake of opening up to a person who will hurt you more than once but one day it will be the right person, and they will give you their heart as well. That person will care too much about you as well.
You have to have the courage to care if you want to find a person like that and trust me, they deserve it. When the L-word slips out of your mouth in that case, that person will greet it with a smile and the words, “I love you more.” I know it’s hard to believe at this point where you are now, but trust me, it will happen and you will be grateful for all the times other people you cared about broke your heart. Because if they hadn’t, you wouldn’t have been able to meet your true love who cares just as much.
Caring is what makes us human, what makes us alive, so why should we hide it? You have to face your fears and be stronger than them because caring is beautiful. And surrendering yourself to someone who cares the same will be the most amazing experience you will ever have. So, stop hiding your feelings and open your heart to the possibility of love.