There are a lot of personality types, but we are going to dedicate this article to the INTJ personality type and after you read this article, you will know how INTJ relationships work. So if you have been looking to have a romantic relationship with this personality type… be sure to read on and discover everything you need to know about INTJs and relationships.
INTJs are probably the easiest to spot of all the Myers-Briggs personality types and it’s because of more than just their introversion. They are the ones who are whip-smart and very invested in what interests them. They don’t see the point of consulting others before making a decision.
You are going to learn everything about an INTJ in a relationship and it doesn’t matter whether you are looking for an INTJ female or an INTJ male because the fact is that an INTJ male is pretty much the same as an INTJ female.
Everything you need to know about INTJ relationships
If you have a potential partner who is an INTJ personality type, you will want to know how INTJ dating works. You will also want to know what kind of a difficult time you could have with your significant other who shows these personality traits. A romantic relationship with such an introverted person will demand that you accept their need for alone time but your emotional needs can’t be neglected.
The Myers-Briggs profile states that an INTJ personality is comprised of having thoughtful, introverted, judging, and intuitive personality traits. This kind of person is self-sure and quiet. Even when a relationship with them doesn’t work out… both of the individuals typically walk away from the relationship and will have benefited from it.
The ENFP and ENTP personas have traits that include being intuitive, perceptive, extroverted, and thoughtful, and as extroverts, they, have great compatibility with an INTJ.
Read these strengths of an INTJ in a relationship:
INTJs are not threatened by criticism or conflict.
INTJs are often self-confident.
INTJs take their commitments and relationships seriously.
INTJs are generally very capable and intelligent.
INTJs are able to leave a relationship which is supposed to have ended… even though they might dwell on it for a while afterward.
INTJs are interested in optimizing a relationship.
INTJs are good at listening.
Read these weaknesses of an INTJ in a relationship:
INTJs can be insensitive sometimes because they aren’t naturally in tune with how others feel.
INTJs don’t respond to conflict with the desired emotional support but with reason and logic.
INTJs aren’t naturally good at expressing affection and feelings.
INTJs tend to believe that they are always right.
INTJs tend to be unable or unwilling to accept blame.
INTJs seem to be taxing on relationships with their constant quest to improve almost everything.
INTJs have a tendency to hold back some parts of themselves.
Dating an INTJ
So what do you need to know about dating an INTJ? When it comes to INTJs and relationships, it’s smart to know what you’re dealing with. This is why you should read on to discover all about dating an INTJ and know how to behave in an INTJ relationship.
The truth is, this type of person lives in their own head most of the time. They are constantly scanning their environment for new theories and ideas to turn into structures and plans. Sometimes, their introverted intuition can be more important to them than the reality of relationships. They generally have a problem reconciling reality with fantasy so you will have a difficult time with that if your potential partner is an INTJ personality.
INTJs aren’t really in tune with the feelings of other people, as well as their own and they always think that they are right. Even though their self-esteem and self-confidence can be attractive, their lack of sensitivity to others could be a problem, especially if it causes them to hurt their loved one’s feelings. If you are an INTJ, you should remember to let your partner be right for once and be aware of the emotional effect of what you are saying to them.
When you have a conflict, be supportive of your partner’s emotional needs. And avoid treating the conflict as an interesting idea that you can analyze. Emotional support is important and your significant other needs to feel it in an INTJ relationship.
When it comes to sex, INTJs enjoy thinking about intimacy and love finding ways to perfect it. In a positive relationship, this intensity and creativity will improve your sex life but in a more negative relationship, an INTJ in love will be thinking about sex more than doing it. This personality type tends to approach intimacy from a creative, theoretical perspective… instead of an opportunity to express affection and love but if your INTJ partner has learned how important this expression is, they will be more verbally affectionate.
What’s interesting about INTJs is that they are perfectly able to leave an INTJ relationship when it’s over and move on; they actually think that it’s the right thing to do. They are highly intelligent, intense people who bring a lot of insight and depth into various areas of their lives. INTJs in love tend to think too much about things instead of doing them. An INTJ personality will always have trouble reconciling their inner visions with reality and that could cause INTJs problems with relationships.
INTJ relationships are usually great because INTJ problems with relationships can be worked on and INTJs leave the relationship if it isn’t working out. And even though any two individuals could enjoy a healthy relationship, an INTJ’s relationship compatibility is naturally with ENTP and ENFP and this is because the dominant function of an INTJ is introverted intuition and their best match is a personality dominated by extroverted intuition.
INTJ compatibility with other personality types
If you are looking to find out more about INTJ relationship compatibility, read on because you are going to discover everything you need to know about INTJ compatibility. You will also learn what an INTJ is like in love, depending on their partner.
1. INTJ and ENTJ
A career-driven and ambitious ENTJ could be the best partner for an INTJ, as relationship compatibility with them is great. Since they have so much in common, there is plenty for them to discuss, so they don’t have to engage in small talk. Neither one of them is particularly emotional, and they are both highly independent. In INTJ romantic relationships, they will understand each other’s needs and they will support each other’s interests and work.
But the problem could be when an ENTJ tries to control an INTJ. ENTJs can appear controlling and bossy and they also tend to make fast decisions without overthinking it while INTJs need more time and data to form a conclusion, so this could create problems in INTJ relationships. The biggest issue with INTJ compatibility is if they start to compete with each other.
ENTJs adore competing with others but when it comes to romance, they need someone who doesn’t challenge them or compete with them, but instead fits their overall picture of achievement. This INTJ relationship is over when they start to compete.
2. INTJ and INTJ
INTJ compatibility with their own type is, of course, great. This is obvious since they have the same needs when it comes to INTJ romantic relationships. One of their most important needs in an INTJ relationship is intellectual stimulation and in this case, that need is satisfied. They find each other very interesting and what’s more is that they will give each other some alone time to focus on what matters to them at the time without any unnecessary drama.
But an INTJ in love could have problems because they are not very flexible. They don’t want to alter their plans and will spend much time apart. The thing is that both of the partners in an INTJ romance has an idea of how things should be… and if those ideas don’t match, there are bound to be some problems.
3. INTJ and ENTP
ENTPs are usually savvy, smart, and very enthusiastic and in this INTJ romance, the need for intellectual stimulation is satisfied. What’s even better is that ENTPs have a lot of complementary strengths, and those could help an INTJ deal with reality more effectively. They also both respect and understand each other’s independence.
On the other hand, an INTJ could fail to satisfy their partner’s need for novelty and fun. They will become bored with an INTJ after a while and might start looking for different options and an INTJ could grow tired of their partner’s unfinished projects and broken promises.
4. INTJ and INTP
INTJs and INTPs are similar when it comes to their analytical and logical nature, introversion and love for intellectual stimulation, even though neither of them is particularly emotionally expressive… An INTP can be very romantic and daring at the beginning of an INTJ relationship and can become completely irrational at first, which is a refreshing change to how an INTJ lives. Their need for independence won’t be an issue, and they will be supportive of each other’s pursuits.
What might cause a problem in this INTJ relationship is their different preferences regarding doing things and planning. An INTP is a more spontaneous personality type and tends to start many projects but finishes only a few of them. But whether it’s a male or female INTJ, they simply hate unfinished projects and like to plan everything ahead so the lack of planning gets on their nerves, while an INTP starts feeling disappointed with an INTJ’s lack of flexibility and their rigidity.
5. INTJ and ENFJ
An ENFJ is great at making others feel good, but an INTJ can’t appreciate that. ENFJs like intellectual stimulation too, but can be irrational and overly sensitive and it causes an INTJ to not see them as their intellectual equal. However, an ENFJ has loyalty, warmth, and energy, which is very attractive and they are goal-oriented and like to be organized and productive, and that is irresistible in INTJ relationships.
However, there could be conflict because ENFJs make decisions which an INTJ thinks of as irresponsible. They are also very emotionally expressive and their need for constant reassurance of their loved one’s commitment and love is something INTJ isn’t good at. They also like to have an active social life, unlike an INTJ.
6. INTJ and INFJ
In these INTJ relationships, they will share intellectual pursuits. An INFJ has an intense need to be loved and to love, while an INTJ is attracted to them because of their loyalty and sincerity. They also both plan things ahead, stay organized, and share the same visions. Their intellectual connection could be great, but INTJs will still prioritize their work.
The problems start when they have different values because both of them are stubborn and don’t want to compromise. Also, an INFJ has emotional needs, while an INTJ doesn’t like to talk about their feelings.
7. INTJ and ENFP
They don’t really have that much in common but sometimes they could end up together since opposites attract. An ENFP is romantic and falls in love easily so they idealize their partner and overlook the flaws they might have. It’s easy for them to fall for a mysterious and intelligent INTJ and to an INTJ, they could be very amusing and refreshing.
But since there are so many differences between them, there has to be conflict in these INTJ relationships. ENFPs are extroverted and INTJs, as we said, need a lot of time alone. ENFPs also make a lot of promises and are not as loyal as INTJs would wish them to be.
8. INTJ and ESTJ
An ESTJ is reliable and stable so they are a great match for an INTJ, who wants an organized and intelligent partner. They have to work on respecting each other’s opinions, but if they learn that, they can work great together. An ESTJ is logical and doesn’t have unrealistic expectations with INTJ relationships and they are both very organized, productive, and goal-oriented.
ESTJs are extroverts so they are different from INTJs, but it’s exactly because they are extroverts that it could work great; this is because they could help INTJs deal with the outside world.
9. INTJ and ISTJ
ISTJs are always looking for someone dependable and responsible. The two of them have a lot in common, and both wish to live a predictable and organized life. An ISTJ wants to be respectable and will be great at taking care of the house and the kids and an INTJ needs someone like that, who is stable and intelligent.
ISTJs follow traditions, which is something INTJs don’t bother with, however, so that could create problems.
10. INTJ and ESFJ
ESFJs are very caring partners, but they expect the same in return. And as we know, INTJs are not very romantic and are extremely independent, so the emotional needs of an ESFJ won’t be met in INTJ relationships.
But an INTJ admires an ESFJ’s social skills and their warmth. They take care of INTJs and make their life easier, while at the same time being organized like INTJs.
11. INTJ and ISFJ
When it comes to INTJ relationships and dating, ISFJs are like ESFJs, only introverted. And their issues are pretty much the same. An ISFJ will try hard to make their partner happy and will expect the same in return.
Unfortunately, they will end up being disappointed and their tendency to respect tradition will also create problems.
12. INTJ and ESTP
INTJs in relationships are serious, while an ESTP doesn’t tolerate boredom and seeks amusement all the time, so this isn’t really a good match.
However, an INTJ respects communication skills, objective and logical thinking and the ability to read people, all of which an ETSP has, so sometimes they will still end up together.
13. INTJ and ISTP
These two could have a great relationship together since they have many significant similarities. An ISTP dislikes drama as well as emotional conflict and respects their partner’s need for privacy. An ISTP is also logical and analytical, so they can talk on the same level and avoid small talk and they will encourage each other to pursue their own interests.
However, an ISTP lives in the here and now while INTJs are oriented toward the future. Another thing is that ISTPs are the outdoor type, and INTJs will often be too busy to join them.
14. INTJ and ESFP
As we know, INTJs are introverted and intuitive perfectionists so they will have the same problems with all the extroverted types. An ESFP considers a relationship a type of entertainment, while an INTJ doesn’t have time for that. An ESFP will be intrigued by the intelligence, independence, and creativity of their partner and an INTJ will like an ESFP’s generosity and relaxed style.
At first, their differences could be what attracts them but later on in INTJ relationships and dating, these types will have to work hard to have a successful relationship.
15. INTJ and ISFP
Even though they aren’t a bad match, an ISFP will have to put much more effort into the relationship than an INTJ. They have a different style of communicating since an INTJ is blunt and straightforward and an ISFP is actually gentle and unimposing and unlike their partner, they are ready to make sacrifices for the sake of the relationship.
An ISFP might not get exactly what they want out of this relationship but since they make their partner feel loved and cared for, this relationship could work.
16. INTJ and INFP
It could seem as if they are two very different people but they actually have a lot in common because they are intellectually compatible. They will probably have stimulating and interesting conversations. INFPs are also private people so there will be no forcing their partner to participate in social events. Both of them like to control everything but with an INFP’s leisurely approach to life, there could be some problems and an INTJ might not be able to meet an INFP’s emotional needs.
Whether it’s a male or female INTJ, all INTJs have the same characteristics so if you have been looking to read about INTJ relationships and dating, I hope that this article was useful to you. Now it’s up to you to take the Myers-Briggs test and find out if you could you have an INTJ as a partner. We have tried to be perfectionists so we have listed any possible combinations of the types so you can check for compatibility.
This is important since INTJs in relationships act differently, depending on the type they are with. A female INTJ is pretty much the same as a male INTJ so you can check this compatibility if you are looking for a girlfriend or if you are looking for a boyfriend.
Now I’m going to tell you about the few secrets that you should know when dating an INTJ. They must be able to count on you because they are methodically loyal. INTJs show their love by helping you reach your goals. They see all problems as solvable and they care deeply about their time alone, so you have to let them have some time away from you to reflect.
They don’t really feel feelings as much as they think about them. INTJs actually think too much about everything and you need to be blunt with them. When they argue, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are upset; they may actually be testing ideas. And if one thing is sure, it’s that it’s hard to shop for them since they are very picky.
When you are feeling hurt, they will want to find out what caused it and fix it. As for them, comforting language can’t really help much because they need solutions and insights. They are never really sure of how they feel so when they are expressing their feelings, they are actually hypothesizing and they can’t be over a fight without having the closure they need.
Now that you know all this, it’s time to implement that knowledge into your relationship with an INTJ. If you use our advice, I am sure that you will manage to have a wonderful relationship that will make you both happy. But be patient and consider your compatibility before getting into anything serious. Good luck!