Sexual attraction is one of the main factors many people consider when choosing who to date or marry. Nonetheless, it is easy to be sexually attracted to a person who is new to you. Not knowing anything about them besides their looks makes it easy to go crazy about them. It’s the mystery that makes the pursuit intoxicating. However, this will not be the case forever. Eventually, the passion wanes and that is why you may start wondering about the signs my husband is not attracted to me.
Signs my husband is not attracted to me
If you are looking for this information it means some things have happened or your husband has done something to make you think he no longer finds you attractive. You can’t fix what you don’t know though, and that’s why you need to learn how to tell if your husband is attracted to you or not. From there, you can decide whether to make some changes to turn the situation around or to leave.
Signs your husband is no longer attracted to you
1)He can’t get it up regularly
Men will always be in the mood to have sex with you if they find you attractive. If everything was going well and all over a sudden he can’t get it up it might be because he has lost interest.
Healthy sex life is a big part of any committed relationship and once that goes it’s a sign of trouble ahead. If he is healthy and in a good mood there is no reason why he shouldn’t be having sex with you.
2)He’d rather masturbate than have sex with you
A little bit of self-love is okay but if he is choosing that over having sex with you all the time then you should call a relationship expert.
Regular masturbation on his part while refusing to touch you is one of the signs of a husband not physically attracted to wife. A stable long-term relationship isn’t possible if sex is not on the table and that’s why you have to get to the bottom of the matter.
3)No longer touches you
Your husband will touch you intimately if he is into you. You don’t even have to ask, especially in a long-term relationship where he already knows how you like to be touched. It is the little things that count.
This includes things like cuddling, kissing or even holding hands in public or the house. It is a good sign when you are in a relationship. The moment that stops you should be worried, especially if he pushes you away every time you try to initiate the touch.
4)He doesn’t talk to you like a lover should
There is a way your boyfriend or husband will talk to you when he’s in love. It is different from how he talks to his friends or family members. If that changes it is one of the telltale signs that things are getting worse. If your significant other addresses you like anyone else then there is a high possibility he isn’t attracted to you anymore.
5) He is aggressive, distant or cold
If his overall demeanor has changed to any of these it is not just one of the signs my husband is not attracted to me but it also means he has checked out of the relationship in his head.
As you spend your time wondering how to get your husband attracted to you again he may be seeing someone else on the side. It isn’t something anyone wants to hear but don’t ignore the little things if they are pointing to that direction.
6)He always has an excuse for not sleeping with you
If all your sexual advances are turned down by your partner it is time to see a relationship expert or a sex therapist. Even if his libido has gone low it will only be for a period of time and he would be open to other forms of physical intimacy rather than shutting down completely.
7)Major body changes
You may not like to hear this but men are quite the visual creatures. They like what they see even before they get to know you. This is how many men decide who to pursue. It isn’t fair but it is what it is.
Gaining a few pounds might be the reason your husband no longer finds you attractive, especially if you were slimmer when you first got together. This isn’t difficult to fix though.
You only have to lose the extra weight and you can reignite the passion. Instead of wondering why your spouse no longer attracted to me in this case you should be hitting the gym.
8)He only gives you attention when he’s drunk
Beer makes people forget their woes and that is why people drink when they are stressed or frustrated. Also, being drunk pushes people into decisions they wouldn’t make when sober.
There is also “beer goggles” which means men will find any woman attractive when they are drunk. Thus, if your significant other only gives you attention when he has downed a couple of beers it is one of the telltale signs he’s no longer sexually attracted to you.
9) He’s upset by everything you do
When two people live together there will be some conflicts and disagreements because of differing opinions and perspectives. However, the first time you get together it is easy to get past that because of love.
When love is gone so will his ability to let things go. Everything you do will upset him whether good or bad. This is a red flag and if it persists for a period of time you need to have a sit-down with him.
10) Something doesn’t feel right
You may have a gut feeling that things aren’t how they used to be or supposed to be. When you get this gut feeling don’t ignore it. Someone who constantly brushes you off when it comes to physical intimacy or doesn’t care about you anymore won’t do your self-esteem any favors.
Self-love is important in such cases and you have to put your mental health in the first place. Your love life is important but it won’t mean much to you if you aren’t getting your needs met. With all obvious signs that the relationship is dead and there is no love life per se, you have to choose yourself and leave if you must.
11)He’s obsessed about his looks and goes out without you
If he’s suddenly concerned about his appearance it’s one of the obvious signs he’s trying to woo someone else. Think back to the first time he approached you and his behavior during the honeymoon phase.
He dressed to impress you, didn’t he? Thus, if he starts doing all that again you shouldn’t wait to be told what is going on. It’s a red flag you shouldn’t ignore because the more you wait the more things get out of hand.
12) He no says “I love you”
When the relationship is still new he’ll be texting all the time to tell you he loves you and even saying that when you are together. This reminder assures you that he still finds you attractive and wants to be with you.
However, people can say this routinely which is why you have to look at his body language when he is saying “I love you.” Are his eyes showing sincerity? Does he use verbal cues to emphasize the message? If it is said just to be over with it you will know and it is a huge red flag. If there is no love how can he still be into you?
13)He doesn’t want to be seen with you
If a man is attracted to you he will want to show you off. He won’t be ashamed to go in public with you. His body language while you walk together will tell it all and he will use any excuse to be close to you not to mention the constant texting.
If this changes it is a bad sign. You shouldn’t ignore being his dirty secret even when the relationship is over a year-old. If you take the first place in his life he won’t be embarrassed to let people know you are together.
14)He no longer compliments your appearance
Just because the relationship is a year-old or more doesn’t mean he should stop complimenting your appearance. It gives you a huge self-esteem boost when your partner lets you know how turned on they are when they see you or think about you.
Their body language can even tell you so. The way he looks at you, how he wants to be close to you all the time and even how he talks to you will be enough to determine whether he thinks you are a goddess or he won’t care if you left. It is a bad sign if he doesn’t compliment you like before and it can negatively affect your self-esteem.
15)He picks fights over minor things
Small quirks that he never used to bother about will now irritate him and become a basis for a fight. You didn’t look at him that one time, you walked a step behind on the street, you expressed the desire for sexual intimacy, you exist!
These are not reasons to fight with you. In any healthy relationship, there will always be such quirks that are harmless and he shouldn’t be bothered. However, if they suddenly become deal-breakers it is one of the signs my husband is not attracted to me anymore. If you cannot find a reason for the sudden change you should get an expert to help.
16)He doesn’t talk to you for days
This is quite an issue, especially in a long-term relationship. Since you aren’t seeing each other daily you have to text, call each other frequently or email to keep in touch.
Someone who no longer finds you attractive will not even bother to check up on you and it isn’t a good sign. Therefore, don’t drive yourself crazy wondering why is my husband not attracted to me when the real issue is him. Even some quirks that never used to be an issue might point to deeper problems.
17)He flirts with other women even when you are with him
This is one of the hard to ignore signs my husband is not attracted to me anymore. If he dares to hit on other women even when you are less than a meter away from him it not only shows he is no longer into you but also a lack of respect.
If there is one thing you should never lose in a relationship it’s your dignity. Someone who doesn’t respect you is someone who doesn’t deserve you. Thus, it should be a deal-breaker especially if he has already made up his mind.
18) He can’t stop talking about that hot co-worker or neighbor
If he has the guts to talk about how hot other women are in your presence he is no longer attracted to you. He wouldn’t risk that if he found you attractive.
Even those who are in a committed relationship will admit that someone else besides their partner is quite attractive but there are boundaries not to be crossed. Singing praises about other women in your face isn’t a good sign and you should read between the lines and know that you don’t excite him sexually anymore.
19)He doesn’t notice when you put on something sexy
How you dress is one of the ways to get your sexy on. A man who is into you will notice when you show off more skin than usual- a low-cut top, a dress with a thigh slit that is a tad bit too high. If he doesn’t notice this then he has checked out of the relationship already.
20)No special look
Someone who is physically attracted to you will give you that special look whenever he sees you. Whether it is in a crowd or in private, his eyes will be fixed on you and the facial expression will give his feelings up.
If he doesn’t even turn to look at you no matter how great you look it is time to bring in help to get him to fall for you again. If not, find someone who will give you that.
Signs your boyfriend is not sexually attracted to you
When the relationship is new sex will be on the menu daily or several times a week. However, this tends to change over time. Nonetheless, you can tell when your boyfriend stops enjoying sex with you, especially if you have been together for a while.
Things slow down and might come to a halt altogether. There will be those moments in the course of the relationship but you should worry if you start doubting whether your boyfriend is sexually attracted to you. Signs that can tell you that your boyfriend isn’t attracted to you anymore include:
1)He seems distracted during sex
If he’s passive during sex it’s because his mind is somewhere else. Having sex with you will be just another thing he has to tick off his list probably to avoid fights. However, this isn’t how it should be.
Great sex should be passionate and both partners need to be involved. There should be active participation and a lot of intimate touching. If it seems like you are doing all the work then you need to take it up with your boyfriend. It is better to know early than to drive yourself crazy with worry about it.
2)He goes to bed before you
t doesn’t necessarily mean that your boyfriend should wait for you to finish whatever you are doing so that you can go to bed together. If your schedules are different you’ll probably be going to bed at different times. However, he should let you know that he’s off to bed and say goodnight.
If all of a sudden he goes to bed early and doesn’t inform you then there is a problem. Most men will do this to avoid sexual intimacy with their girlfriends. If it becomes a pattern there is a high chance that your boyfriend has lost interest in you. Unless the matter is addressed it will persist and that can lead to a lot of resentment.
3)He stops initiating sex
Think back to the last time your boyfriend initiated sex. Does it feel like you haven’t been having sex unless you initiate it? Was he initiating sex regularly before? Has all that changed? This might mean that your sex drives are out of sync or that your boyfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you.
If you have been together for a while you’ll already know how your boyfriend initiates sex and you can’t help but notice when that changes. If all of a sudden he avoids sexual contact then you have a reason to worry.
It might be just a phase your partner is going through but if it goes on for too long it’s more than that. It doesn’t mean you have done something wrong for them to withdraw sexual intimacy. Rather than sulking up and pulling away as well, it is good to bring it up. Getting answers upfront makes everything much easier.
How to know if my husband is attracted to me
When you are not getting regular reassurance from your husband that he still finds you attractive you may start wondering whether he is still interested in you. It will even be tougher when you are going through a rough patch in your marriage.
You may become insecure and start wondering whether he even cares anymore. If you have found yourself wondering about this lately, you can use these telltale signs to know whether your husband is still attracted to you:
1)You catch him staring at you with longing often
There’s a look your husband can give you that tells you what he wants to do to you no matter what you are doing. If you keep catching him with that longing look or raw emotion it shows that he is still attracted to you. Some men will fall in love with their wives more and more with each passing day and it’s hard to miss that.
2)He confides in you
Men get talkative around their loved ones. Your husband will share everything with you if he’s attracted to you. Your opinion and validation will be important to him and whether it is during a break or late at night he’ll disclose his fears, plans or even the occurrences of the day to you.
3)He shows you off
If he is proud of you he will introduce you to his coworkers and friends. He’ll want everyone to know the woman he is proud to call a wife. You are a huge part of his life and it will be important for everyone to know about it. Therefore, if he invites you to events where his friends and colleagues are coming you know that he’s very much interested in you.
4)Complementing him makes brings happiness
People won’t be too impressed with general compliments especially if they are from strangers or people they don’t care much about.
However, a compliment from someone you love or very much attracted to will make all the difference no matter how simple it is. If your husband puffs up whenever you praise him it means he is still attracted to you.
He will constantly be working to impress you even if you have been married for years. If he is still interested he will want assurance that you are still proud of him.
5)He surprises you often
If he is still attracted to you he’ll be thinking about you a lot even when he is busy. On the same note, he’ll want to surprise you with gifts, trips or even simple kind gestures. If your man has been doing that consistently you have no reason to doubt that he’s still into you. Otherwise, he wouldn’t care about that.
6)He is quick to make up whenever you fight
A husband who is still attracted to you will not be at peace if you are fighting. It’s normal to disagree and even fight occasionally but what makes all the difference is whether you are willing to make up shortly after that. If he can’t stand not being in good terms with you for long then you know he is still into you.