Relationships

How To Fix An Unhealthy Relationship: 20 Ways To Make It Last

How To Fix An Unhealthy Relationship: 20 Ways To Make It Last
Leslie Blair
Written by Leslie Blair

Can an unhealthy relationship be fixed? If you are one of those couples who are having relationship problems, this relationship advice of how to fix an unhealthy relationship will help you work things out with your significant other, even though if enough time has passed, you might want to consider professional help. In any case, if you are seeing red flags and wondering what’s going on, it’s time to take action and think of your mental health in the first place.

You need to find ways to preserve your mental health when you are in a toxic relationship, so this article on how to fix an unhealthy relationship will help you find out whether it is possible to fix a toxic relationship or if letting go is the only way after trying professional help.

When you see the warning signs that you are in a bad relationship, it’s time to take action and talk to your significant other about bad habits because only you can change your life.

Is it worth trying to fix the relationship? That depends on how much you care about your relationship in the first place because if you do care about it, you will find ways to work on your relationship problems.

Sometimes, however, letting go and getting out of an unhealthy relationship is the only option, and in that case, there are many red flags and warning signs that simply cannot be ignored. Your loved ones will ask you what’s going on when they see the warning signs of a bad relationship, and if you often find yourself in this kind of situation, you can take action and search for relationship advice on how to avoid unhealthy relationships.

Life is not like in the movies, and enough time has to pass before you see the bad habits of your loved one, so you might find yourself in a toxic relationship, but this relationship advice is here to change your life. Movies teach us that everything will be okay in the end, and we will try to help you get there, but sometimes toxic relationships just can’t be saved.

To see if your toxic relationship can be saved, you have to answer some questions. Do both of you want the same thing? Do both of you have enough energy to work on your toxic relationship? How have you two resolved traumas before, or are you just using repetitive patterns that never work? Do you two run away from problems instead of trying to solve them? Are there hidden issues that are stopping you from having a healthy relationship? Do you still want to try to fix your toxic relationship?

Some of the signs of a toxic relationship are poor communication, mistrust, jealousy, anger issues, fear, controlling behavior, inequality, unresolved issues, overreaction, use of force, and threats of violence. If you are being abused in any way, you should get away from your partner immediately and find help. But if things aren’t that bad in your case, there might be ways to fix an unhealthy relationship.

Read on to discover how to fix an unhealthy relationship and see if it works for you.

How to fix an unhealthy relationship

1. You need to be attentive to each other

If you want to learn to fix an unhealthy relationship, you have to start by carefully listening to your partner when he speaks, and he should do the same when you are talking. What you have to say is still important even if you are fighting, so listen carefully to your partner’s words.

If you have a shared history of overtalking, minimizing, interrupting, or dismissing, this advice is especially important for you because you need to be attentive to each other and learn how to really listen to what the other person has to say. Communication is the key to a successful relationship, but to really communicate, you have to really listen to each other.

2. Show concern, compassion, and consideration

You need to show concern, and even if you can’t use soothing gestures and words, try to show consideration for your partner’s distress. And if you know their breaking point, don’t go there.

Compassion is important when your partner is hurting, so if you want to learn to fix an unhealthy relationship, consider this advice and implement it into your relationship. Your partner needs to know that you really care for him and the relationship enough to make an effort and try to work on things so they can become better.

3. Have a shared sense of humor

It often happens that couples are so mad at each other that they say they want to kill one another, but then, out of nowhere, one of them mentions a shared memory from their past, and they both start to laugh.

Even for just a moment, the tension will be completely gone when couples have a shared sense of humor. So don’t forget about how much of a cure humor can really be and try to make each other laugh like you did before you realized you are in an unhealthy relationship.

4. De-escalation is important

Every one of us knows how far is too far when we are in a couple, but sometimes that knowledge isn’t enough to stop us from crossing that important line and many relationships fail exactly because of it. It’s important that you recognize when you are too close to saying or doing something that you shouldn’t be saying or doing because it crosses the line for the other person.

Take the conversation to a more caring place when this happens. Know when it’s too much and don’t ever cross the line because the other person may never forgive you for it, especially since you knew all along that it is unforgivable to them. You need to have an unspoken agreement that will keep you from going over the line of tolerance.

5. Immediacy should be considered

People often use past experiences or examples from other people’s lives to prove their point, especially when they are losing an argument but couples who are good at communicating talk about the present and what they want from each other in the present time. Don’t try to persuade your partner to do something that would be great for you but which would be at their expense.

6. Use basic truth

Don’t ever question if your partner is worthy of your love or basic respect, no matter how ugly things get. The fundamental truth is that you love them, and they are a good person who is worthy of your love, so no argument you might have should question that fact.

7. You need to be aware of your part of the blame

Pointing fingers is a power play and both of you need to accept that you both have a part of the blame when it comes to the problems in your relationship.

It takes two to tango, so you should stop pointing fingers and realize that both of you played your part in making your relationship the way it is, so both of you have to take responsibility and work on it if you want to find ways to fix an unhealthy relationship.

8. Both of you need to have the energy to make your relationship work

Your relationship needs to be more important than figuring out who is right and who is to blame for its current state. So you both need to have the energy, and the willpower to work on your relationship if you want it to become healthy.

Constantly arguing won’t get you anywhere, so if you really want to fight for your relationship, stop fighting with each other, and put in the effort to make it work.

9. You need to review your beliefs

Ask yourself what’s keeping you from having the relationship you want to have. Then write down everything that comes to mind as a possible answer to that question. Anything you write down is fine, and it will help you get things in perspective and figure out what you can do to make your relationship the way you want it to be.

10. Get rid of self-sabotaging behaviors

Your relationship depends on you being able to identify your self-sabotaging behaviors because all of us have them. You need to review the reasoning behind them and then conquer them.

11. Adopt new rules for your relationship

Replace those self-sabotaging behaviors and relationship myths with positive, healthy rules to make sure that you will have the relationship you have always dreamed of. Choose something like no longer talking about the past, but choose things that apply to your specific situation.

12. Communicate with each other

Communication is what makes a relationship healthy, so you need to communicate more with your partner. You need to figure out his communication style and stop pointing fingers. Remain open to what he has to say and use touch as an icebreaker.

13. Identify the main issues

You need to pinpoint the core issues if you want your relationship to work. It’s crucial that you talk to your partner about the problems you might be experiencing so you can find a way to fix them together. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner about the issues in your relationship.

14. Get a professional to help you

It’s not a shame to seek professional help because a therapist might just save your relationship. Counselors help couples overcome their issues every day, so why not find one near you to try and save your relationship and tell you what else you can do to make the relationship work.

Agreeing to see a counselor is a great sign that both of you are aware that you have issues and are ready to work on your relationship to make it the way you would like it to be.

15. You need to be honest and supportive and trust your partner

Honesty and trust are the most important parts of a successful relationship so you have to work on trusting each other, and you can start by having an honest conversation about your relationship.

And trusting each other cannot be taken for granted, so work on the trust in your relationship. It is also important to be supportive of your partner, so try to show him support even though you might not share his interests.

16. Find a common interest

Find an activity that you can share. Maybe you both like tennis or bowling. Whatever it is, find something that you both can enjoy and do together because you will see how it will work wonders for your relationship.

17. Accept the things that you cannot change

There are things you can work on in a relationship to make them better, but some things are just the way they are, and they are never going to change. If you don’t like something about your partner that is a part of who he is, and he can’t do anything about it, you will have to find a way to accept it as who he is or break up the relationship if you simply can’t tolerate it.

18. Make time for each other

You need to spend more time together so you can work on your relationship, so stop saying that you are too busy to go on a date night with your boyfriend because that date night might just be the thing that will save your relationship.

Have mini-dates with your partner if you are really that busy because even that ten minutes in front of a funny YouTube video could mean a lot for your relationship.

19. See things from his point of view

You need to learn to see things from his point of view, and he should see them from your point of view as well. This will help you understand each other.

20. Go on a vacation

Sometimes it’s the simple things that fix a relationship, like going on an adventure. I am sure that you have been postponing a vacation for a while now, and now is the perfect time for you two to get away from everything and enjoy each other.

How To Fix An Unhealthy Relationship: 20 Ways To Make It Last

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