I know that you already know this about me, but I have to say it once again. I feel like I have to get it off my chest.
I DO NOT trust people. It is really difficult for me to open up to someone. I hope that even though it’s confusing, you can still somehow understand what I am saying, because this… This is hard for me as well.
The truth is, I have been hurt too many times. I’ve been disappointed by people I once swore that they could never betray me. I’ve been mistreated by people whom I loved very much. My heart has been broken in thousands of pieces and glued up all over again, too many times to even keep track.
So, as a result, I am condemned to live in fear. I am cursed. Every time a person approaches me, I get the feeling that if I don’t put my shield up and protect myself, I will most likely end up down the same rabbit hole of utter disappointment and misery.
I cannot help myself. Everyone around me is a potential threat to me. Every person around me can crush my heart at every given moment. Everyone has the power to hurt me if I’m not careful enough.
That is exactly why I need you to know this.
I will trust you and commit to you, only if you make sure to reveal your true intentions to me.
I don’t want to be the needy, overly-attached girlfriend who stalks her boyfriend. I don’t want to be the paranoid girlfriend who doesn’t know where her boyfriend is. I don’t want to become the insecure girlfriend who is wondering whether her man loves her as much as he says he did. I simply don’t want to commit to someone who is not ready to be with me. I don’t want to give myself away to someone who is afraid to love me the way I deserve to be loved.
That is why I need you to know how I feel. I need to understand the songs of your heart. I need to read the poems your soul wrote. I need to come face to face with the real you.
Trust me when I say this… I don’t give a damn about your past or your previous relationships as long as you let me know that I am your present and your future.
Your past is not something that interests me. I know that you’ve had a few failed relationships. And I know that you haven’t been the world’s best partner. But that is fine. We’ve all made mistakes. And as I said, I don’t really care about anyone else besides us.
I don’t care about your partners, I don’t care about your previous relationships and I don’t care about your past mistakes. The only thing I care about is the person you are today. What you’ve learned from those mistakes. And how much you’ve matured throughout the years. The only thing I care about is how you treat me.
Because, if you are open about your innermost feelings with me and love me with all of your heart, I will love you back. I will show you what real love feels like and you will make me the happiest person alive. But that is only if you let me know that I am the only one.
If you betray me, you won’t get a second chance. And if you break your promise, I swear to you… You will never see me again.
My heart has already endured too much pain as it is.
You only get one chance. Use it wisely.