9 Signs That You’re Actually Just His Backup Plan
For countless women, the ultimate dream involves being happily in a romantic relationship with a man who loves you as much as you love him. A lot of women kiss a lot of frogs before they find their Prince Charming. Unfortunately, there are many women who will spend a lot of time on Mr. Wrong before they find Mr. Right.
In many instances, the wrong guy will prove himself unworthy through the way he treats you. If he treats you like a backup plan, it’s time to move on. Ironically, it can be hard for some women to tell. Consider these nine signs that he only sees you as a backup plan.
1. He doesn’t try to make plans with you.
When two people are in love, they naturally want to spend time together. Even before two people fall in love, if they know there’s interest, they’re going to make time for each other. Even the busiest people figure out a way to carve out time for the things and people that care about most. If he doesn’t try to make plans with you, it means that you’re not a priority to him.
2. He disappears.
Everyone is glued to their phone at some point in the day. Whether they’re scrolling on social media, checking email or making calls, people get a hold of their phone at some point. This means that they’ve seen your text messages. This also means that they’ve seen your phone calls or voicemail messages. If he doesn’t get back to you or pick up the phone when you call, this means he is not trying to be in touch with you unless it’s beneficial for him. You don’t want to experience a lack of communication when you’re in a romantic relationship. It’s about reciprocity and respect.
3. He doesn’t take the conversation deeper.
Many women naturally want details. If you find that you’re in conversation with the guy and he doesn’t seem to open up, this might mean that he’s shy. However, it could also mean that he doesn’t want to allow you in his world in an intimate way. When somebody shares personal details of their life, they’re allowing you to experience a certain level of intimacy. These details are ones that most people don’t know. These details are some of the reasons why he is the way he is. In order for a relationship to really thrive, there’s a level of emotional intimacy that must take place. If he’s not letting you into his world, take that as a sign that you’re not welcome.
4. He keeps his feelings ambiguous.
Remember the days when little girls used to pick up flowers, pluck the petals and play the “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not” game? They did this because they were too afraid to ask guys if they were interested. At the same time, they couldn’t tell because his actions were ambiguous. As an adult, this is not a fun game to play. A guy should make his feelings clear to you by his actions and his words. If he keeps his feelings ambiguous, he’s stringing you along and it’s best to move on.
5. His phone is more interesting.
If it seems like he spends a lot more time scrolling when he’s in your presence, he’s bored. Most people use their phones as a diversion from other things they need to do. Distractions are okay at times. However, a guy shouldn’t need a distraction from a woman he’s interested in. Take this as a hint that he is not interested in you.
6. He’s unreasonably private.
When a guy is really interested in you, he actually wants to share his world with you. He’ll want you to see where he lives, learn more about his job and learn more about his journey in life. If he doesn’t invite you to his home, invite you into his life or even tell anybody that you exist, these are red flags. Consider these red flags as official signs that you need to run. If you’re his backup plan, there’s no need for you to become intimate with the details of his life because you’re not there to stay.
7. No one knows about you.
When a person is in love, they naturally shout it from the rooftops. It’s such an exciting experience to be loved and love someone in return. If you don’t feel that sense of pride, this is not good. If you haven’t met anyone in his family, you’re not that important to him. To make matters worse, a guy will usually introduce his new girlfriend to his friends. If you haven’t met his friends, he’s not serious about you. Many people keep their relationships off of social media until it’s definitely official. If you don’t even get a mention on any of his social media pages, it could be that he’s also entertaining other women and that you’re one of many.
8. Holidays aren’t special for you two.
If he doesn’t spend Valentine’s Day or any other holiday with you, he’s not someone to take seriously. If he doesn’t even know when your birthday is, he’s showing you that important dates in your life don’t matter to him.
9. There’s no effort.
When a guy is really into you, he’ll make an effort to woo you. He understands that you could date other guys if you wanted to. Knowing this, he’s going to do all in his power to prove that he’s the right guy for you to choose. If he’s not making this type of effort, this means that he doesn’t care because he’s not committed to getting to know you deeply.
If you’ve seen these signs in the guy you’re involved with, it’s best to cut your losses and move forward. While it’s a painful process, it’s better to cry now rather than later. The sooner you move forward, the sooner you’ll meet the right guy who’s waiting to treat you like a queen.