To The Person Who Emotionally Killed Me
I want you to imagine this specific situation: picture a woman lying down on her bad at night; she’s desperately trying to keep her tears from falling because she doesn’t want to be that cliché weak girl who cries herself to sleep.
She’s trying so desperately to think of something else; to take her mind off of the pain that she’s feeling in that moment. But when her mind refuses to just think of anything, she tries to accept these uncomfortable thoughts.
She tries to rationalize everything that she’s just been through. She’s trying to make sense of her situation. She’s trying to gain closure so that she can move on from this breakup that has been like a living hell for her.
I had to endure so many months of you treating me like absolute crap. I had to endure so many months of you just not giving me the love, security, affection, care, and consistency that I needed from you to feel safe.
I had to endure so many months of you taking me for granted even when I was ready to just give you everything I had.
It’s because of you that I know to ALWAYS a demand for more; that I always need to be fighting for what I want; that I should never settle for anything less than I deserve.
I now know that I deserve someone who is never going to lie to me; someone who isn’t going to manipulate me with deceit and dishonesty. I now know that I deserve someone who is always going to show appreciation and gratitude for everything that I do in the relationship.
I now know that I deserve to be with someone who isn’t going to break my heart on a daily basis; someone who is going to do whatever it takes to take care of me.
I now know that I deserve to be with someone who is always going to prioritize my sense of happiness and well-being; someone who doesn’t feed into my insecurities and fears.
I now know that I am deserving of someone who will never capitalize on my weaknesses. I know that I deserve someone who is going to bring out the best in me; someone who makes me stronger.
I now know, because of you, that I deserve to be with someone who loves me for me.