This Is What It Means To Have Your Heart Broken
When you have your heart broken, the feelings will come and go but the memories will always remain.
For those who are lucky enough to have never experienced heartbreak, well, this is a glimpse into the torment that comes with it. Getting your heart broken by another person is practically waking up every single morning to a phone without any notifications in it. No one is thinking about you in the morning. No one cares enough to actually let you be the first thought in their heads as they wake up. There is nobody else. It’s only you and you have to deal with that loneliness.
When you have had your heart broken, the world just doesn’t choose to automatically become nicer to you as a form of compensation or fairness. It doesn’t work like that. You still have to go out and fend for yourself in an unjust world. You still have to be able to make the most out of what you’re given in life. And even if you try your hardest, the world is still going to hit you with everything it has got. You’re going to get knocked down a few times and you will feel tired, weak, hopeless, and dejected. And once that happens, heart break will remind you that you have no one else to turn to and that you merely have to rely on yourself.
When you have your heart broken, there are plenty of things that you want to do in life. You will realize that you now have the freedom to pursue the things you never got to do while you were in a relationship. This kind of newfound freedom is going to overwhelm you; it’s going to disorient you. But when all the euphoria and the trill dies down, you’re going to realize just how sad it is that no one is there to share those experiences with you. No one is going to be able to witness your milestones aside from you. There is no one to revel in your joy and wonder with. Whenever there are activities that require more than just one person, you are left out of it. You have no one to share it with. Just when you think you’ve regained your freedom in life, heartbreak will remind you of just how much you’ve lost because of it.
When you have your heart broken, the feelings will come and go but the memories will always remain. That’s the hard part of it. You get to delude yourself into feeling all the things that you used to feel before but you know that it’s all in your mind. It’s all in your head and none of it is real. You can try to relive the joy of walking through the park with your ex on a sunny spring afternoon. But when you try doing it by yourself, you then realize just how alone and hopeless you really are. The setting is there. The place still exists. The memory is still vivid in your mind. But the feeling is gone and it has been replaced by something much darker.
When you have your heart broken, you get utterly dismayed at the thought of your old flame every single time it crosses your mind; and it never stops crossing your mind. You can never seem to shake that heavy feeling in your heart. You can never seem to get rid of that lump in your throat. You can never seem to dry your eyes. It’s all going to stay there and you’re just tired of it. The thought of you being perpetually sad makes you even sadder and it’s just too much for you to bear. You experience the kind of pain that you wouldn’t even wish on your worst enemy. You’re lost and you don’t know how to get yourself out of this mess. You just want everything to be okay again but you don’t know how to make it happen.
You try so hard to just shut everything out of your mind whenever you’re going through a heartbreak. You think that if you avoid all of the emotional triggers, things will get easier for you. But it’s harder than it seems. It’s as if every single thing that crosses your path every day is a reminder of the things that used to be. Whether it’s memorable date spots that you used to have, songs that you hear on the radio, or even articles of clothing that remind you of your ex; it all just comes flooding in like a rush of bloody emotions.
But the absolute worst part of being heartbroken is this: it’s having to find the strength to just deal with it on a daily basis. It’s constantly wondering how long you’re going to have to endure the pain. It’s filled of constant hoping for that one day when you just wake up and all is right in the world. But until that day comes, it’s just life under a perpetual black cloud.