Heartbreak Relationships

Why Letting Him Go Is The Best Thing For You

Written by Chloe M.

He fills your thoughts and keeps you up at night wondering what it would feel like to lay next to him again. He used to be your everything, your life, but he decided to let you go. But, you never let go and sometimes it feels like you never will. He’s like a poison in your veins that never seems to get better. He is the guy you can’t let go. You want to, you need to, but letting go of him is like letting go the best piece of your life, the love that you will never forget. Your thoughts circle and you imagine life without wanting him anymore, a life you haven’t lived in so long. A part of you knows you would feel relieved to let go, but another part of you feels like you would be giving up on the love you know deep down you want so much. As hard as it is to say, you need to let him go and pick up the pieces yourself and heal from this exhausting and tough journey called Love.

Every second you think about him, you could be spending doing something positive for your life.

The constant thoughts, the constant tears, and the hurt that screams from your chest. He never leaves your mind and it is painful to think of him, but more painful to not. All you do is think about the possibilities, what could have changed, what you can do now to have him in your life again. This is time well wasted as harsh as it sounds. You have been there, you have tried over and over again, and to let go is not to give up. It is to make the choice to do the best thing for yourself and find the love that you deserve. Love should chase after you, you should never chase after love. Letting go of him, allows you all the time you spent thinking about him (we all know it was a lot) to fill your life will things that make you happy and start rebuilding your life without him in it. It will fill selfish and odd to do this in the beginning, but trust me you have to push through that stage to become truly happy again without him. You will start to find yourself again and not the self that only stayed up till 2am crying over the guy that you can’t seem to let go. You will find the self that is excited to get up in the morning and seize the day without any worries or doubts in your mind. Let him go, to let yourself back into your life.

All the tears and heartbreaking feelings aren’t worth it.

He is the one that let you go and it happened for a reason. And I know you think you are the couple that will get back together and everything will be peachy again. But, you don’t have the time to wait on anyone, especially anyone you are relying on for your happiness. Be your own happiness and create it. A man should never be your only source of happiness and if he is you need to step back and ask yourself what am I giving up that I love to love this man so much? Is it worth it, well that one is up to you. Stop the tears and catch your breath. It isn’t worth fighting for the man that isn’t fighting for you to be in his life. He is showing truly how he feels by what he is doing or not doing. Gosh dang it believe him. Don’t make excuses for a man, otherwise you will end up unhappy and doing that all of your life. All the hurt you feel and love you are giving him when he doesn’t even want it or deserve it is meant for someone else. Someone that will love you without begging them to and would do anything not to hurt you. Let him go. Let him go because there is more to life than him and his unloving ways. There is you and your heart full of love for the guy that deserves it.

Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting the good times or regretting the experience.

No one is asking you to forget all the good times and memories you shared with him. Those are things you can remember and cherish for what they were: good. The way he made you smile, the feelings you had for him at that time, the things you did together, and the memories you made. It is even okay to miss these things every once in awhile, but do not miss the hurt, the betrayal or the heartbreak. Move on from that and learn for it to make you strong and to learn to guard your heart just a little bit more next time. Believe me when I say, with every relationship you have there will be good time and there will be bad. It depends on the relationship as to which one took up most of the relationship, but know that you don’t have to regret the experience either way. Any relationship you have will teach you something new about yourself and about life. Sometimes the hard way unfortunately, but it is still a learning experience. Use the things that you gained from your past relationship to have a better relationship the next time you choose to. But, please remember it is not bad to reminisce the smiles, laughs, and good times you had with him. Those will be treasures forever. But, remember the relationship ended for a reason and you have someone out there waiting for you to make better memories with. Be patient and trust in the process.

Moving on isn’t easy, but it shows you know there is something better for you.

It’s not easy to decide to let him go and promise yourself to not go back. It is actually one of the more difficult things you may have to do. But, once you heal and see things from an outside perspective you will be proud of yourself and your strength in your decision. There will be times that you regret letting go and desperately want to call him up and say, “Babe, I still want you, I messed up.” But, don’t. Don’t give him that satisfaction and power back. If there was no reason to let him go then you wouldn’t have. In those hard times you have to remember why you decided to let go and leave him in the past. Remember what you deserve and resist the urge to go crawling back to him once more. Letting him go and him drifting from your thoughts might take awhile, so you have to know doing the things that make you happy and joyful are the things you need to do most at this time. Don’t sit at home and hurt because of the decision you made. Go out and live your life and make yourself smile again. Because honey, this is only the beginning of a new chapter in your life and you should be nothing but excited.

You are strong, you are beautiful, and you have the strength to let go of him and move forward with your wonderful life. He is not filling your flower bed with colorful daisies and roses anymore, he is simply drying them out and their beauty is fading. Don’t let him fade your beauty, you deserve to bloom and flourish with the wildflowers. Please know that you are making the best decision for you and that is all that matters right now. Breath in. Breath out and let go. Let go of him and allow yourself to become beautiful again. Trust in the plan for your life and smile because that is only a chapter of your amazing story. There is so much yet to come.

By Shanille Commons for Odyssey

About the author

Chloe M.