If you’ve been in a toxic and unhealthy relationship, you now know exactly what you don’t want. It wasn’t wasted time, energy, or feelings. It was a lesson well learned. It doesn’t feel like that in the beginning, though. In the beginning, you’re left questioning if you made the right decision to finally walk away once and for all and your answer is yes! You were unhappy. You were left questioning your self-worth being with that individual and no one should feel as though they’re not good enough.
As you begin to move on, you begin reconnecting with friends that you may have lost touch with or that your past significant other deemed not good enough or simply wasn’t comfortable with you maintaining a relationship with due to insecurities. You start to feel like you’re taking a little bit of yourself back every single day and it’s one of the best feelings in the world!
You date here and there, but nothing serious. It’s a wonderful feeling to get pretty and for once, a person of the opposite sex NOTICES. You rarely got that before which is exactly why you stopped trying in the first place. The attention that you’re receiving is rebuilding confidence you forgot you ever had and that is a beautiful thing!
You’re not completely yourself yet, though. You feel like you have all this baggage that you’re carrying around with you, but the truth is, someone is going to walk into your life and appreciate every single thing about you. He’ll understand that you were hurt in the past. He’ll understand that even though he isn’t the one where all of your insecurities and trust issues stem from, but somehow get you to see that they’re not all going to do that to you and you’re worth more than you think.
He’ll be the guy that picks you up when you’ve had a little too much to drink. He’ll be the guy that texts you that you’re beautiful just because. He’ll be the guy that holds you because he knows that’s when you feel the safest. He’s the guy that appreciates the fact that you can rap every Cardi B song. He’s the guy that wakes up in the middle of the night for you even though he has to work in the morning. He’s the guy that sings in the car with you and enjoys it just as much as you do. He’ll look at you and see right through you. This is the guy that will stare at you and wonder how someone ever treated you like shit and wonder how you could ever question the greatness you have inside of you.
These aren’t things you know because he’s told you. They’re things you know because you feel it every time he throws a smile in your direction or plants a kiss on your forehead. This is something that comes naturally and something you aren’t looking for. That’s how it happens though. You may not know who you are entirely, but you know you’re strong for walking away and knowing that you deserve better. You don’t have to know who you are fully though, because when that real love comes around and helps carry the baggage, you’ll know that he gets every part of you and that’s worth it.