When you broke up with me that night you were drunk, I thought my world was ending. No one would love me like you loved me.
When I love, I love hard. When my heart breaks, it shatters.
But then something happened. Something I didn’t realize would ever happen.
The curtain of issues surrounding our relationship has always been blocked by our ‘love’. The curtain then opened. And I saw what our relationship really was.
So here’s a letter to you. And to every manipulative partner every girl has ever had.
Thank you for always knowing the right things to say to get me to forget about the hurt you caused me in that moment.
“I love you, baby,” she would say as I stared into her baby blue eyes; I thought I saw love. But, that’s just what I wanted to see.
Thank you for making me look crazy when I called you out on your lies.
“Don’t you trust me?” she would say in an accusing tone. Of course, I did.
Thank you for making me think I was crazy when I showed you a side of myself I didn’t show many people: my anxiety.
“Can you just chill? Calm down…” she would say as I’m crying and all I needed was a hug.
Thank you for lying about the ‘friendship’ you still had with your ex. We both knew that I was just a distraction from her.
Thank you for running away when we would fight. You didn’t want to deal with me because I wasn’t worth it to you.
Thank you for making me wait days to hear from you. I would double text, something society tells us to never do; I still didn’t get a response.
“I love you,” she would text sporadically; just to make sure she still had a hold on me.
Thank you for making fun of me in front of your friends just to get a laugh out of them.
“Of course I’m fine,” I would say.
I’m always fine.
Thank you for promising a beautiful future you had no intentions to ever fulfill. But you knew words were the way to my heart; you knew I would believe every word you said to me.
Thank you for criticizing the way I dressed and the way I looked. I couldn’t leave the house without looking presentable to you.
“Wow, you looked so skinny,” she would say as I showed her pictures from my high school days. “I assumed when you told me you had an eating disorder, it went the other way…”
Thank you for never saying thank you, ever.
But most importantly, thank you for showing me what I never want in a partner ever again.