The ending of a relationship is never easy. Whether it was an almost relationship or a love that you thought would last forever, it’s hard to pick up the pieces and move on, especially since you want to replay and dissect everything that went down. Stop yourself. The only thing you need to focus on is that the guy didn’t deserve you in the first place. Move on and stay strong — you owe yourself that much.

1. YOU DON’T NEED A GUY WHO CAN’T GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT.You might not see it right away, but you need to know that the end is a huge blessing in disguise. Things don’t work out in some relationships and that’s okay because it often means they weren’t meant to. Let the pieces fall as they will and focus on building yourself back up again. You’re the only piece that truly matters.

2. YOU DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE A QUEEN.You shouldn’t waste your time pining away and stressing about some idiot who wasn’t treating you well to begin with. If he was treating you the way you deserved, you’d still be together, but he didn’t and that’s his loss, not yours. You shouldn’t feel bad if you tried your best and it wasn’t good enough for him. Instead, see him for who he truly is and move on.

3. THE RIGHT GUY ISN’T GOING TO CAUSE YOU THIS KIND OF GRIEF.There are good guys and bad guys out there and the good guys don’t make you feel like crap about yourself when things don’t work out — they’re mature and know how to act like grown men. Focus on the fact that whatever is happening right now is just a clear sign he’s the wrong guy. The right one for you is still out there.

4. IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT — IT’S JUST LIFE.It’s easy to let yourself get caught up in self-doubt and self-sabotage when things don’t work out with a guy you were really invested in, but don’t sweat it. It’s nothing that you said or did, and even if it was, that’s merely his opinion and shouldn’t influence your opinion of yourself. You’re still an amazing catch. There’s someone out there who will see that.

5. YOU’RE AMAZING ALL ON YOUR OWN — YOU DON’T NEED HIM TO VALIDATE YOU.You were fine before him and you’re going to be more than fine after him too. No matter how good he may have made you feel at times, he’s not the primary source of your happiness — you are. You’re already complete and even though you want to find a love that’s amazing, you don’t truly need it to live a fabulous life. Try to keep that in mind when you start to feel down about some jerk.

6. HOLDING ON TO THE PAST WON’T BRING YOU TO THE FUTURE YOU DESERVE.The longer you hold on to the heartache and disappointment he caused you, the longer you’re prolonging your journey to the love that’s meant to be for you. It’s okay to be upset, but don’t live there forever.

7. YOU’VE GOT A LOT TO LOOK FORWARD TO.Every negative and defeating emotion you’re feeling is something you can easily turn into a positive. You dated a guy who turned out to be an jerk, but you know better now and you should know that your love story is still coming and the pages are unwritten. Don’t dwell on the sadness — bask in the excitement of what’s coming.

8. TRUST THE PROCESS.It’s much easier said than done, but this whole dating circus is hard for everyone. The good dates seem few and far between because they are, but unfortunately, we need to have more bad ones first to get to the good ones. It sucks when you’re going through it, but soon you’ll look back and see that everything was worth it.

9. DON’T LET SOME JERK DICTATE YOUR HAPPINESS.No jerk is worth your tears or energy, and while it’s totally okay and sometimes necessary to take a couple days to let it all out, he’s not worth any more of your time. He wasn’t treating you right. He didn’t make the same effort you did. He didn’t see how truly wonderful and amazing you are, so don’t let him win by sinking into a state of sorrow. He’s not worth it.

10. YOU HAVE TO KEEP GOING.You know exactly who you are and what you have to offer a guy who truly deserves you, so move onward and upwards toward the guy who is going to give a genuine crap about you. Sooner or later, you’re going to land on the perfect person for you. You owe yourself the dignity of a brighter future.

By Andrea Wesley for Bolde

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