These walls; this faГ§ade that she has managed to build over time is ingrained into her very being. She has a shell that she retreats into whenever she’s caught in a place of discomfort or worry. She never likes to feel vulnerable because in her mind, vulnerability is weakness. A woman like her who is used to always being alone can’t afford to be weak in any aspect. Her deficiencies in the realms of social dependence need to be compensated by absolute strength even during the most difficult times.
There are so many fish in the sea, as the clich goes; but trust us when we say that there isn’t a fish quite like a strong and independent one who can fend for herself. A girl who has zero dependence on other people will most likely be accustomed to being on her own. It will be difficult to penetrate whatever walls she has put up to protect herself from the ill intentions of others. She knows that there aren’t too many people in the world who have her back, and so she always has to undertake the necessary precautions to defend herself from those who want to harm her. The harsh realities of life haven’t been kind to her but she doesn’t complain. She knows that she’s up to the challenge and she knows she will overcome. Her walls are built tall and high, and it will be difficult for anyone to climb over them or break them down.
It’s your job to draw her out of her shell, despite her own reluctance. You have to be able to make her feel comfortable with being uncomfortable. Remember that wall that she’s built over the course of her life? You have the difficult job of breaking it down bit by bit without upsetting her. You have to allow her to feel safe enough to let her guard down and be comfortable with you. You have to be calculated and smart with how you approach change when it comes to her. You don’t have to baby her. She knows how to get things done, remember? She’s done pretty well for herself so far, and she really doesn’t need a prince charming in her life because she’s not a damsel in distress. However, you have to be able to make her feel like it’s okay to ask for help every once in a while. You have to make her realize that she no longer has to deal with the world alone, and that life is always best dealt with when you share it with other people. It may take a long time to penetrate those walls, but you should be comforted in the fact that she’s worth it.
Know that when you do manage to win the heart of a girl like that, you shouldn’t ever let her down. She’ll fall so much harder than everyone else, even though it took her so much longer to open herself up completely.