He likes me, he likes me not?
If you often find yourself scrutinizing every text he sends you for signs that he’s into you or analyzing to bits random coincidences, like meeting him at the corner store coffee house, as definite signals that he might be thinking of you as more than just a friend or acquaintance, then this list is going to make your day.
Yup — we are that confident.
Why? Because human beings don’t communicate just through words when they interact physically. In fact, according to the world famous study done by Dr. Albert Mehrabian, the pioneering researcher of body language in the 1950s and current Professor Emeritus of Psychology at UCLA, verbal communication accounts for only 7% of human communication. Out of the rest, 55% is through body language and 38% through the tone of your voice and inflection.
That means if you really want to know if he’s into you, all you gotta do is watch his body language.
So here are 22 body language signs that reveal he’s definitely into you. Now let’s count how many he has been showing so far so you can decide upon a game plan to sneakily get him to ask you out!
11. He “Mirrors” You
Human beings tend to mirror each other. It’s called synchronization and it allows people to fit into communities and make others more likely to be benevolent towards them.
We do the same thing when we are trying to get someone to like us. We mirror them. It’s called the courtship dance and it is a subtle, unconscious way of telling the other person, “See! I am just like you. You would be good together. Let’s mate.”
So if he scratches his head because you were scratching yours, or throws his legs one over the other because that’s how you were sitting across from him, or mimics your facial expressions when he sees you reacting to something surprising or hilarious, he is definitely interested in you and is betraying his attraction by mirroring your moves.
In fact, if a guy is genuinely interested in you, he will also mirror your unique speech pattern over time.
That means, if you say a specific curse word a lot, you can expect him to drop those bombs more often when the two of you are discussing something, or if you pronounce a certain name a certain way, he might start doing the same too.
10. He Maintains A Strong Posture Around You
Slouching when we walk immediately tells the world that we lack confidence. And lack of confidence is one of the most unattractive things on this planet. You might be the most amazing human being to interact with when someone gets to know you, but if your posture isn’t proper, you will fail to attract most people. And we human beings know this secret on a cellular level (if not the conscious level), which is why we always straighten up whenever we see the one we have a massive crush on.
It’s the same for him.
In fact, if he is really interested in you, don’t be surprised if he pushes his shoulders back slightly and stands taller while he is in your presence because it means he wants to appear strong before you and be the biggest male in the room.
Another powerful body language move men tend to pull off in the presence of the women they are super attracted to is manspreading. That is, when they lounge on a chair before you, they tend to spread their legs wide apart and drape their arms over the chair arms almost casually. This classic move projects an image of masculinity, power, and ease, making him seem like the alpha among all men. So watch out for this one too!
9. He Matches Your Pace When You Walk
This is probably the easiest way to gauge if the man you have a crush on is really interested in you or not. Let me explain why.
Have you ever found yourself trapped in a short walk from point A to point B with someone (maybe an obnoxious acquaintance or a stranger) who just wouldn’t take a hint and go away? If you have, you would do either of two things to get away from them. You would have either slowed your pace so they shot ahead of you or picked up your pace so they are left behind. We don’t do it consciously but it’s obvious to everyone who is around us (and also the person we are trying to outstrip…if only they would take the hint!).
So if you have ever walked side-by-side with the guy you have a crush on and have noticed him doing the same – walking a few steps ahead of you or slowing down and lagging behind again and again even after you try matching his pace – then he probably isn’t interested in you.
But if he slows down or speeds up to match your pace, then it’s a big sign he’s into you. Bonus points if you notice that your steps become synchronized after a while as if you are in a marching band. Then he’s not only interested but also mirroring you unconsciously.
8. His Pupils Dilate
There are a few caveats with this body language, so don’t put too much emphasis on this one as compared to the other signs on this list. Here are the reasons why.
First of all, our pupils naturally dilate when we are in darkness and constrict when we are out in the sunlight or in bright light. The former allows our eyes to take in more light so we can still see clearly in the dark, while the latter protects our retina from getting damaged by too harsh rays of light. So if you observe that his pupils are dilated but happen to be in a relatively dim room or lighting condition (like late evening), then it’s not a sign of attraction but basic biology.
Nevertheless, our pupils do dilate when we see something we really like, especially if it’s someone we have a huge crush on. It’s because we are hardwired to want to take in more of what we like looking at.
So if the two of you meet and you suddenly observe his pupils expand and grow bigger, then you definitely are onto something here.
(But you need this to be accompanied by the other signs of attraction, like smiling or enthusiasm or mirroring, to be sure of his interest in you.)
Unfortunately, if he has dark brown or black eyes, observing this sign will be next to impossible. So only look for this if you are interested in someone with paler eye color.
7. He Voice Sounds More Manly
Research has proven that in the dance of courtship when a man is interested in a woman, the pitch of his voice becomes lower when the two of them are alone. It’s done unconsciously in a bid to appear more masculine and powerful since men naturally have a deeper voice than women.
And it makes perfect sense. Just hear Justin Bieber speak first and then compare it to John Cena’s voice. The former sounds musical and pleasing, but if you closed your eyes and did not know it was JB, you probably might conclude the voice belonged to either a woman or a growing boy. But that’s not the case when you hear John Cena speak. Just a few lines in that rich, gravelly baritone and your feminine hormones will make you want to melt into his arms and never let go.
But there’s a catch. If the man is interested in you, you will notice that he tends to speak at a higher pitch and talk more when you both are in the company of other men. All males of the animal kingdom do this to be heard over the “competition”. So watch out for both these signs before you jump to conclusions.
6. He Laughs At Your Jokes…Even When They Are Bad
Human beings are social creatures. We love it when we are included in a group. In fact, those who rebel against the grain and reject popular gangs also love it when they finally find like-minded people they can connect and socialize with. And humor evolved as a great way to pave these connections.
According to a research cited in Psychology Today, it’s easy to judge whether someone likes you or not. Just gauge how funny they find you. And this applies to all human relationships, whether at work or at play. When we laugh at someone’s jokes, we are telling the other person that we like them and get their sense of humor, and that makes the other person see us in a favorable light.
No wonder those who laugh more at their boss’ jokes often find themselves better appraisals at the end of the day…and the same applies to the game of attraction too.
So if you find it easy to make him laugh, even when you know your jokes aren’t all that funny always, it’s a big sign that he is into you. It’s because the love chemicals bursting in his brain are making everything you say sound a lot more interesting and amusing! (Not that we doubt your jokes.)
5. He Puts On A Show When He Knows You Are Watching Him Play Sports
When a guy is seriously interested in you, he will put on a “show” whenever you are around. In fact, he might not even be interacting with you and maybe lounging with his friends close by, but as soon as you walk in, you will notice a sudden straightening in his posture and more enthusiasm in his actions. He could even outdo himself and throw his arms around more animatedly or try to “prank” his friends just so he stands out in your eyes.
We all pull these exaggerated acts when we are around someone we like (even if we latter kick ourselves for behaving like a complete moron!). But men tend to do it a lot more than women.
And since most men love sports with a fanatical intensity, especially the ones who play them, if he’s good at a particular game and is interested in you, you can rest assured that he will ask you to come to see him play in some way and then play the game of his life when he knows you are watching him from the stands.
And this sign is visible even when he is not into sports. You will see him outperform himself if he knows you are watching him do what he loves doing the best. Just remember, this sign has to be accompanied by the other signs on this list. Otherwise, he might just be interested in your body and not in a romantic relationship.
4. He Fumbles When He Meets You Unexpectedly
This one’s easy! How can he not fumble when he suddenly sees you walk around the corner when he was not expecting you at all? His heart is beating a million beats a minute, after all.
This action is precipitated by a sudden burst of adrenaline in his blood, which is the hormone secreted by our body (adrenal glands to be more specific) when we are in danger or are in the presence of the one we desire tremendously. So don’t be surprised if his voice sounds unusually high, his eyes wider, and his hands a lot colder and clammier when you hi-five. You may even see a faint sheen of sweat on his head as he frantically tries to think of an appropriate response to charm you but fails to do so in his mind.
It’s actually quite cute if you ask me. And a great boost for your ego because it immediately makes you feel more powerful and confident in his presence, both of which are extremely attractive traits.
So if you want to be sure he’s interested in you, find ways to meet him in places where he’s least expecting to meet you.
Maybe show up for his soccer practice one day, even though you are a sworn nerd, and then watch if he fumbles with the ball initially. He will calm himself down eventually, but if he follows it up with an exaggerated gameplay and seems to be playing close to where you are sitting, then he’s definitely interested in you.
Just make sure your surprise appearances are spaced out with at least a week or two in between. Otherwise, he might think you are stalking him!
3. He Behaves Protectively
Gender studies scholars might say that most men and women behave a certain way more because of social conditioning than because of inherent traits in their physiology. But that does not change the fact that we are still living in a world where most men like to take on the role of the protector and the provider while most women like to be the nurturer and the receiver.
So until we get a more gender-neutral main generation (which might happen by the end of this century), this body language sign still holds true about a man’s interest in you.
That means, if he always makes sure he’s between you and the traffic as you walk down the road and immediately gets rid of the cockroach (or lizard) that scared the living daylights out of you, he’s definitely into you and does not want any harm to come to you.
Trust me, this is a big sign. In fact, you may not observe a lot of the other signs in him if he happens to be a more reserved and mature man, but you will always see his protective side displayed in full if he is truly interested in you as a romantic partner.
2. His Face Is Animated When He Talks To You
This body language sign is exhibited by all human beings when we are seriously interested in someone. It ties in with our need to stand out from the competition, flash the spotlight on ourselves, and make sure the one we have set our sight on goes home with a lasting impression of us in their mind.
So don’t be surprised if you see him pulling odd faces when he is in your presence.
It’s a big sign that he’s interested in you because loud and animated expressions always make people laugh, and men love it when they can make the woman they are interested in laugh (or guffaw) in sheer delight.
It boosts their confidence and makes them like you even more. Wouldn’t you like someone too if they genuinely found you a fun person to be around?
But this animated behavior is not just restricted to his facial expressions. He will even speak in an animated manner when he’s into you. Especially when he is retelling a story from his life or something interesting that happened that very day. In fact, he might even jump from one story to another in quick succession just because he wants you to know everything there is to know about him!
1. He Stretches Out The Goodbyes
This one’s the most obvious sign of someone’s genuine interest in you. After all, we all tend to hang around for “just a while longer” when we are seriously crushing on someone.
When we are in love with someone (or are seriously attracted), our brain releases a set of neurochemicals that generate pleasant feelings around this person, like dopamine, the culprit in all addictions (not just love), oxytocin, the hormone responsible for generating attachment, and phenylethylamine (PEA), the hormone that causes infatuation and lets up stay awake till the wee hours of the morning just because we are talking to the one we love on the phone. And these hormones are seriously addictive in nature, especially dopamine.
That’s why when we are in love we often behave like drug addicts with the same kind of intense highs when we are hanging out with the one we love to intense crashes and cravings when we haven’t seen them for some time. This is the main reason why we all stretch out our goodbye when we are seriously crushing on someone. We don’t want the good times to end! And it’s no different for men.
So if the guy you are into tends to turn back around and drop a few more funny lines after he has said goodbye or gives you a prolonged hug, he’s definitely is into you. In fact, if you observe this sign and 10 more on this list, you should now go and find out how to get him to confess first!
by Valeria Black for TheTalko