Heartbreak Life Love

Sometimes You Have To Deal Without Closure

without closure
Written by Lejla

A closure is considered as a most important step of ending things and moving on. You are told you need closure to get over things. Whether that is a bad breakup or a tragic event in your life. But not everyone gets closure. Sometimes questions are left unanswered and people leave without a goodbye. How do you move on without closure? How can you close a book without an ending?

Having no closure after a breakup will leave you with some questions. You will obsess over those question. Try your best to find answers.  You will call him and text him a lot. Those calls will not be picked up, and those texts will not be having a reply. You may even resort to stalking him on social media. But you will find nothing on there as well. You even hope you will see a picture of him with another girl. It would be an answer at least- he found someone else. Alas, there are no pictures of him with other girls. You will feel completely lost.

Once you find no answers in the outwards world, you’ll turn your search inwards. You will look inside yourself for any flaw that could’ve put him off. You will blame yourself and you will pick yourself apart in trying to find the answer. But still, the answer is not within yourself. It is within him and only he can give you a true answer.

You had a recent death in your family. It was completely sudden. The last time you talked with that person you did not part on good terms. You even planned to make things right the next time you saw each other. But that next time never will never come. You mourn the fact you never said goodbye. There are so many things you wanted to say. Sadly, you will never get the chance to.

Whatever the recent happening was that left you feeling so utterly lost and confused, in shock even…you have no closure. But it is possible to heal without closure. It will be painful and hard, there is no denying that. Nevertheless, it is possible.

It is possible to heal without your questions being answered. Without saying goodbye. You can heal even without knowing the reason why he left or why things happened the way they happened.

How may you ask? How can you heal without closure? I do not know. I am not going to sit here and write you a step by step instructions. Healing is different for everybody, especially those unlucky ones that didn’t get any closure. However, I can tell you one thing. You have to push through. Push through the pain and all the unanswered questions, through all the regret you feel. Know that things are the way they are, and no matter how much you tried, you cannot change that.  Accept that fact. The fact that life sometimes makes no sense at all and that it leaves us feeling powerless. But you are not powerless. Not by a long shot.

Find a way to silence the screaming questions in your head. You are not in control of the answers. Focus on other things and on other questions you do have control of. Like what would you like to eat for dinner or what is it that you want to do in your life? Your life doesn’t have to be put on hold because of your breakup. Or for any other tragic situation that happens in your life. Cherish the things and people you have in your life, right in this moment, instead of thinking over what you have lost.

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