Heartbreak Relationships

After a Painful Breakup You Will Learn These 10 Important Lessons

breakup
Written by Lejla

Breakups are never easy. No matter if it is you who got dumped or not. But as with every hardship, you have two choices: You can either mope around in your house for months, crying over what-ifs or you can rise up and learn something from it.

1. Learn to be alone

Depending on another person for happiness and comfort is never a good idea. Enjoying your own company is a step towards your happiness. If you learn to be happy and content on your own, your confidence will grow as well. Besides, if you are are a happy person on your own, relationships will be easier to handle.

2.Crying won’t solve your problems

Grieving over a breakup is a normal thing. You will feel hurt, confused and angered in some cases. However, knowing that these emotions will pass is of great importance. Take some time to grieve and cry. It is okay to let it all out. But, grieving for a long time will get you nowhere. There is a time for grief but there is a time for picking yourself up and moving on. Don’t let your life pass before your eyes simply because you feel hurt over a breakup.

3. Never settle for less

If you have been in a relationship for a longer period of time, coming to terms with that this is simply not what you want is hard. You will be stuck in your relationship and you’re prolonging the breakup, be it because of a habit or you’re afraid to hurt him. Nevertheless, if you are feeling like this relationship is not what you want, better end thing early.

4. Being in love with somebody and being in love with the idea of love is not the same

We tend to rush while chasing our ‘ happily ever after ‘, so it is no wonder that sometimes we fall in love with the idea of loving someone. We cling so hard to our vision of a happy future that we stay in a relationship even though we don’t love our partner. However, this is a waste of time. How can you be happy with someone you don’t love? Realizing this and moving on, you will more likely be closer to your ‘ happily ever after ‘, than staying in this relationship.

5. They won’t change

Falling in love with a ‘ potential ‘ of someone is bound to end up badly. See your partner for who he is, the good and the bad. If you are unable to accept them fully, then it is better to let them go. Don’t try to change someone, you will only bring pain to yourself.

6. Denial will get you nowhere

The more you deny it, the more it will hurt. Don’t dwell on the past. You broke up. It happens. Try to move on and focus on the present, not the past.

7. Strength lies in forgiveness

It is easy to be angry at someone if they hurt you. Especially if that person meant a lot to you. But all that negativity in you won’t be hurting him. It will hurt you. Surround yourself with positive things and the pain will end quickly. If you surround yourself with hate and anger, you will take a long time to get over your breakup. Forgive him, not for his sake but for yours.

8. Never lose your identity

Being with someone can make us lose ourselves in that person. We become so attached that we don’t know who we are without that person. Don’t lose your true self in a relationship. Never.

9. It’s okay to rely on your friends

It is important to know that you don’t have to go through a breakup alone. If it gets too much to grieve on your own, call your friends. Everything is better when you’re with your friends.

10. You will get stronger

I know that feeling hurt and vulnerable will make you think you will forever feel that way. Weak and hurt. Over time, you will get stronger. Stronger than you were before. Remember this.

About the author

Lejla

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