When you love someone, it seems impossible for you to stop loving them. You feel hopeless because this is an emotion that consumes you completely, and at the same time, it is an emotion you can’t control. But, although getting over someone is challenging, it is definitely not impossible. It is a healing process and it takes a lot of time, energy and patience, but it is something you can accomplish if you really want it. If you are in a situation where you would give everything to move on, but you simply don’t know how to do it, here are 10 ways how to stop loving someone.
- Accept the harsh truth
If you are wondering how to stop loving someone, the first step you need to take is to accept the harsh truth. Your relationship is over and this man probably doesn’t love you anymore. Even if he does, you are very well aware that this romance has no future, so you need to know it’s time to move on. After you accept this, get rid of all hope. While you hope that things will get back to what they used to be, you can never completely move on with your love nor can you hope you’ll stop loving this person. I know this is one of the hardest things to accept, but it has to be done.
- Realize you are a complete individual without them
When we are in a committed, long-term relationship, it often happens that we lose our identity and start to think of ourselves only as a part of this couple. But, if you think of how to stop loving someone, it’s time you realize you are a complete individual without this person. You had a fulfilling life before they came into it and you’ll have it again once you are single. It will just take some time before you get on track, but the important thing is that you stop tying your entire identity with just this one person. Your only role in life is not only of someone’s partner- you have a lot more to offer to the world.
- Be realistic about this person
It is natural to idealize the person you love. But, if you wonder how to stop loving someone, the first thing you need to do is to take off your pink sunglasses. This person is far from perfect- it is only a human being made out of flesh and it has its flaws. So, instead of thinking about their good sides, start thinking about their imperfections. Also, it is important to think realistically about your past relationship. Your relationship wasn’t all that perfect- if it was, it wouldn’t reach its end. So, think about all the bad times and memories from that relationship, because they existed and focus on them. This way, you’ll see that it is probably better it ended on time.
- Avoid any form of contact
You can never get over someone if they are still in your life. It may seem immature, but if you want to stop loving someone, the best thing you can do is to avoid any form of contact. The best thing you can do is to block them on all social networks and if you think they would want to reach you once you get better- block their number or even change yours. This may appear too drastic for you, but it is the best choice you could make. You’ve been with this person for a long time, so it is natural for you guys to have similar habits and places you like to visit, but avoid those places, as well. Do whatever you can to avoid seeing them or hearing from them. This will make it easier for you to get over this person- they don’t say “out of sight, out of the heart” for no reason.
- Get rid of everything that reminds you of this person
The next step is getting rid of everything that may remind you of the person you love. Getting rid of pictures and other things that remind you of that person is symbolic and it can help you a lot to get rid of the feelings you have for that person, as well. If there is a song or a movie that reminds you of this person, avoid listening or watching it. I know you can’t act like this person was never a part of your life, so if it’s too difficult for you, don’t throw away everything that reminds you of them- just put it away from your sight. It is important for you to get rid of all memory triggers associated with that person and you’ll only do that if you stop surrounding yourself with things or people that could remind you of them.
If you are wondering how to stop loving someone but you are afraid to be weak if you show too many emotions, stop doing that. It is ok to cry and to grieve. You are not just putting aside a person who was in your life for a long period of time, you are also burying your feelings, which are a big part of you. So, take the time you need. Scream, cry, grieve, and lay in bed thinking of them if you have the need to- it is only natural. Give yourself a mourning period. But, when that period ends, make a decision to really move on with your life and stick to it.
- Focus on what makes you happy
Now that you are single, it’s time you focus on things that make you happy. Set yourself with small, short-term goals and don’t give up until you accomplish them. Find a hobby and do everything you always wanted to do. Be creative! It is ok to do whatever makes you feel better unless it’s not hurting anyone. This is a period of your life in which you don’t have to make any compromises, so make the best of it. The only thing important is to keep yourself busy. This way, you’ll have less time thinking about this person and the feelings you have towards them. Sooner or later, you’ll catch yourself developing other habits besides thinking of them and that will be a huge step in your recovery.
- Accept this person as a part of your past
If you ask yourself how to stop loving someone, the answer is never that you should act like this person has never existed. Instead, embrace them as a part of your life and past and a part of the person you are now. If you run away from the fact that you once loved them, that feeling will catch you up sooner or later. But, this way, you accept this person as someone from your past, but you bury them metaphorically. Also, try not to take the fact that they are no longer by your side so tragically- some people are just not meant to be and that is all part of life. No matter how much this someone has hurt you, you can never erase them from your past. So, instead of focusing on it and instead of spending your energy on holding grudges, look towards the future.
- Start loving yourself
When you ask everyone how to stop loving someone, they will tell you the best way to do it is to start loving yourself instead. This seems like an empty phrase, but it actually has a very deep meaning. It will take you time, but after a while, you’ll realize that you don’t deserve to love anyone who doesn’t love you back. You’ll learn your value and you’ll learn how to appreciate yourself. All of this takes time and a lot of introspection, but as soon as you accomplish this, trust me- you’ll stop loving this person that instance and will replace that love with love for yourself.
- Go back out there
They say that the easiest way to get over someone is to start dating someone new. But, sometimes, this can be counterproductive if it is the first thing you do. Getting back out there is only a final step in the process of your recovery. Remember, nobody but you can tell you when you are ready. Take the time you need, but be open to new people in your life. That doesn’t mean you should be actively searching for someone new, but there is nothing wrong with giving new romance a try.