Heartbreak Love Relationships

Let Him Come To You After a Break Up…

let him come to you after a break up
Written by Nela Baricevic

A break up is never an easy thing to go through. Especially, if you and your ex-partner still have some strong feelings for each other. So, you ask yourself why I advise you to let him come to you after a break up? Let me tell you why.

Well, it’s obvious if there are some feelings left, you can’t pretend everything’s fine and you don’t need to pretend. But, it’s also a good thing to let time do the rest. The rest between you two. Because, believe me, if you let him come to you after a breakup, you will never have a thought that he might be back just because you ask or you pray for him to come back.

In that case, you’ll know the love that the two of you have for each other is real. It is real for both of you. You’ll know it is something that is worth trying. Besides that, you’ll know that all your compromises have a long-term effect.

But, let me just for a second to take you to the beginning of your breakup. When it happens, when someone in a relationship says, “I can’t stand this anymore!,” it’s time to let your partner go. Keep in mind one clever thought that you must have heard before. It goes like this: “If he wants to go, let him. If he comes back, he’s yours forever. If he stays where he left, he was never truly yours, and the two of you weren’t meant for each other.” If you do it this way, you will let him come to you after a break up only if he wants it at least the same as you want it.

There’s not any good in forcing someone to stay in a relationship which they don’t want. Not anymore. Maybe they wanted it a year or two ago or maybe they wanted it just a few days ago, but if they don’t want it anymore there’s nothing you can do about it. Because what is important is now. Remember this. Also, remember that life can and will heal you. It will put you on your knees and you will pray him to stop that feeling. But life is not a light that you can just simply turn on and off according to your needs. Life will put you to test many, many times. It’s up to you to learn those lessons as quickly as you can.

Each time someone says goodbye to you, or even worse, each time someone left you without saying a single word, it’s an opportunity for you to learn something.

Most goodbyes are not forever. Of course, some of them are, but as I said before, if you set him free and he comes back, you are learning. If you set him free without asking for reasons, without grabbing his hand on his way to exit, you let him come to you after a break up because he’s missing and loving you for real. If he decided himself that he wants to come back, I understand you’ll be the happiest person in the world the moment he says that. But please, for your own sake, be careful.

If your relationship was full of yelling and crying, ask yourself if this is the best possible way. Ask yourself if it’s a good decision for the both of you, for your future lives. Love can be painful. But it must come from the bottom of your hearts. Any other way is no way at all. Because love can’t be replaced by something that we call pure desire.

After a break up I suggest you take some time for nobody but for yourself. Do what you love to. Go out with your best friends. Meet some new people. Go to the theater. Read some interesting books. Write in a diary. Take time to experience what it is like to be alone. What it is like to be responsible only for yourself and your own happiness.

Instead of trying to make people around you happy, make yourself happy. You don’t need any special reason for that. You breathe, you exist, you love, and you will love – him again or somebody new, but to achieve that you must first love yourself too. Among all the rest.

Remember how he always wanted to watch some strange movies that were boring to you? Well, my darling, now you have a chance to do it the way you love it. Go and watch all those family dramas you’ve always wanted to see. Do whatever makes you happy, but just don’t stay at home, staring at the wall, or even worse, staring at your together pictures, wishing he would come back. Maybe he will. Maybe this separation will wake him up. But let him come to you after a break up. Save your tears. Be gentle with yourself. And don’t run. There’s no need to hurry. Everything will come to you just at the right time.

Don’t forget, my dear, if he said that he can’t stand your relationship anymore, it’s not you who need to come and ask for forgiveness. No, not you. It’s up to him and his decision. What is, on the other side, up to you, is the decision if you want him back or not. Listen to your heart. Your intuition will show you the correct way.

Put your smartphone away. Don’t send him any messages, and you, my dear, don’t call him. By calling you’ll only show him how much you miss him. It may seem to him like you’re addicted to him. I know you’re not. Of course, I know it’s just love that you’re feeling which makes you do all these little crazy things as signs of love. But now it’s not time for this. Now it’s time to control your emotions when it comes to showing them to him. Please, respect his decision and give him some space. Don’t stand there on the side, hoping he’ll notice that you exist. He knows it. By the way, he knows where he can knock if he wants to see you.

At the end, if he comes back because of your tears, because of you telling him you’re sad and weak, you’ll find out quickly that’s not what you imagine. Once again and now for real, let him come to you after a break up but only if he wants to. Be strong. If you don’t show any interest in bringing him back, there’s a good potential he’s going to freak out by understanding that he’s losing you completely. Make him think you have no intentions of praying for him to come back. Plus, make him think you are fine out there without him, and I guarantee if he still loves you, if he still loves you just a little, he’ll come back himself.

My dear, write this down… let him come to you after a break up and then read this once again. Once you do this, you’ll know exactly what to do. I wish you nothing but luck because you deserved it and you know that too. Am I right?

 

About the author

Nela Baricevic

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