Heartbreak Relationships

You Are Enough, He Is Just Scared Of Commitment

scared of commitment
Written by Lejla

You meet a guy, sparks fly and you go on a couple of dates- or at least you thought they were dates instead of  ”just friends hanging out” and things seem to go on great. You already told your friends about this amazing guy and how you seem to just click. Maybe you even told them how in love you are with him.All the signs that you are in a relationship, an exclusive one mind you, are there. I mean, you didn’t talk about making it official but if he holds your hand when outside or steals chaste kisses when you’re in public, it must mean you are in a relationship? Except when you do mention it to him, he immediately goes M.I.A.

After a few days, he finally reaches out. He tells you that he likes you but he simply is not ready for a relationship. Suddenly, all those sparks and the deep connection seems as it was only in your head. Did you do something wrong? You rewind all those moments and search for a potential turn-off. Did he find it unsettling that your fridge is covered in stickers of cute little chipmunks? Or maybe you are too tall?  Soon you start looking for ways to change yourself. You may go to that yoga class that you swore you will never step a foot in or you change your hair color. All in hope that he will change his mind. Nothing against some yoga classes or hair-color change, but only if it is for your own joy. Doing all these things will not change his mind.

It was you as you were that first caught his eye. And if he found something about your personality that he considered a major flaw, he would probably either tell you or stop hanging out with you so much. In fact, he probably does like you. You may question why doesn’t he want to be in a relationship if that were the case. It is simple, he is just scared of commitment and that is his problem, not yours. Commitment issues are very common amongst men, even women and there can be a number of reasons for this.

Reasons why

One of the reasons why he is scared of commitment can be simply because he is not there yet. Girls can mature way before guys, so he simply may not be mature enough to fully commit to someone.

On the other hand, he may have other priorities. It can be difficult to balance work, family life and love, so sometimes you have to settle for two things instead of all three. And also you have recently met so it is not so crazy that you are not his first priority.

He can also be afraid of things not working out. Men can also be afraid and not want to start a relationship unless they are completely sure it will work out.Just as much as women, men are looking for that special someone. However, not any of the reasons why he is scared to commit are you. He probably had this issue long before he met you and no matter what you do to change yourself, his fear of commitment will remain.

Waiting or Moving on?

While you are wallowing in sadness and finding flaws within yourself, go out and see if there is someone new. Someone that is ready for commitment just as much as you are. Or you can wait for him to overcome his fear. But how long it will take? Weeks, months or years? And even if he likes you, he can fall in love with another girl and leave you hanging. Let those sparks be a beautiful memory. Who knows? Maybe in the future, there will be a time for you two to be in a relationship. That time, however, is not now. For whatever reason he may not be ready for a relationship, you should enjoy your life and leave room for someone else. If you are too caught up waiting for someone to make up his mind and be with you, you can miss out on some amazing people.

 

About the author

Lejla

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