Love Relationships

I Want You to Choose Me Because You Want to, Not Because You Need To

Choose me
Written by Karen Clark

When I was a young girl, I believed that the only thing that connects two people is love. For me, it was unthinkable for a couple to stay together if they weren’t in love. But, as I grew older, I came to the conclusion that there are many couples who were together because for other reasons besides love. It could be money, commodity, family or habit. Sometimes, people are afraid of stepping out of their comfort zone, so they choose to stay in an unsatisfying relationship only because they think of it as their natural habitat. There are times when people don’t really want to be with the person next to them, but think they can’t find anyone better, so they settle for less. There are some who think they couldn’t live without their significant other and this is the reason they stay in an unsatisfying relationship. Also, there are people who enjoy to emotionally manipulate and abuse someone so when they find a suitable victim of their manipulation, their ego depends on that person.

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    Whatever the case is, all of these couples chose each other because they needed to.

    And that is the last thing I want for us. And at the same time, this is one of my biggest fears. I would never like to catch myself wondering if you are with me because you want to be with me or because you need to.

    Of course, I want you to choose me over any other girl in the world. But, I want you to choose me because you want to, not because you need to.

    If you want to be with me, I want for you to be sure in that, without any second thoughts. I don’t want you to be with me just because it’s time to settle down, because you are afraid you would end up alone or because you think you can’t find anyone better. I don’t want you to be with me just because you’ve run of all other options or until someone more suitable comes along.

    I want you to really choose me.

    But, I don’t want you to choose me because you feel like you have to or because you feel you owe me something.

    I don’t want you to remember me only when you are going through some hard times or only when you feel like you are on the top of the world.

    I don’t want to be your first or last choice- I want to be your only choice. I don’t want to be your option, I want to be your necessity.

    Because, no matter what they say, love really is a choice.

    When you choose someone, you consciously decide you will love them for the rest of your life. You decide you will love this person with the same intensity on their worse and on their best.

    No matter how great our relationship is now, there will be rough days. There will be days when we won’t be able to stand each other. There will be times when things will get difficult and challenging. There will be situations in which we won’t be able to meet each other halfway. And I want you to choose me even in those times. Actually, this is when I will want you to choose me the most. I want you never to regret the choice you’ve made and never to ask yourself if everything was worth it and if I was worth it.

    I don’t idealize things- sooner or later, these butterflies we are feeling now will fade away. You’ll stop looking at me through pink sunglasses and suddenly, I won’t fascinate you. You’ll see that sometimes I act foolishly. I’ll no longer be the most attractive woman for you. The passion between us won’t be as intense as it is now. We won’t be in love with each other as we are now. But, even when that happens, I want you to choose me. I want you to consciously want that peaceful life that awaits us and I want you to choose to spend that life with me.

    And when this happens, you’ll finally see the real me. You’ll see all of my flaws and imperfections. And I assure you- they are huge and numerous.

    You’ll see that sometimes I can be unlovable and that I am often difficult to handle. You’ll see that life with me can be more than challenging. But, please, even then- don’t regret choosing me. And if it happens that you do, please leave immediately, because the only reason you should be with me is the fact you want to.

    You’ll see that sometimes I can be jealous and possessive. But, I want you to choose me despite my insecurities.

    You’ll see that there will be times when I’ll be selfish and narcissistic. But, I want you to choose me despite my personality flaws.

    You’ll see that sometimes I can be mean. That doesn’t represent me as a person- that is just my defense mechanism. But, I want you to choose me despite my weaknesses.

    You’ll see how stubborn I can be. You’ll see that sometimes, I am hard to compromise. But, I want you to choose me despite all of my struggles.

    You’ll see me being clingy and needy. But, I want you to choose me despite my vulnerabilities.

    I want you to choose me together with all of my fears and inner demons. Because you can never get only half of me- if you want me, you are up for the whole package.

    I want you to choose me because you want to, even when choosing me seems like the most difficult thing to do because when I am pushing you away is when I need you the most. Because no matter how much love you try to give me, I will never completely believe you and I will always need for you to reassure me you really love me.

    I want you to choose me to be the reason for your smile and the fire behind your passions.

    I don’t want to be your comfort zone which you are too afraid to leave because you don’t know what is waiting for you out there.

    But, at the same time, I don’t want to feel obligated to be with you. I don’t want to think you couldn’t live without me. No matter how romantic that may sound, I don’t want to be your reason to live because that notion would terrify me.

    I want us both to remain complete individuals. I don’t want us to be co-dependent to the point where we couldn’t exist without each other. Instead, I want us to consciously choose each other because we don’t want to spend our lives apart.

    I want you to be brave and strong even without me in your life. But, I want you to choose me so I could empower you as a person and so I could empower your life, not give it complete meaning.

    And most importantly, I want you to choose me every day for the rest of your life and to never stop choosing me.

    About the author

    Karen Clark

    Hi! I'm Karen. My friends call me "Ms Fix It” for my unique ability to solve people's problems and shift their self sabotaging patterns in life & love with remarkable speed and thoroughness. It's simple. If you have an issue in your personal life, career, relationships or love life, I will fix it, and fast.

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