Since we can remember, men were the always the one who were initiating every romantic encounter with women, including the romantic relationship. It was the man’s duty to make the first move, to ask a girl out, to kiss her, to initiate sex and finally, to be the one who will ask a woman to marry him. But, a female led relationship is something totally different.
A female led relationship is a type of relationship in which the woman is the one who is metaphorically wearing the pants. It is a type of relationship which breaks the traditional stereotypes and goes against the old-fashioned notion that the man is the one who has to be in charge at all times. In this relationship, a woman is the authority and is the primary decision maker. Although this doesn’t necessary have to be the case, it is common for this type of a relationship between traditional roles and dynamics to be changed- so, it happens that a man becomes the one who stays at home, doing housework or taking care of the kids, while the woman is the main provider and becomes the one who goes to work and takes care of the bills.
Although this type of arrangement can seem odd for many, if you think this is unnatural, ask yourself why do you think this way? Why does it feel natural and normal for you when the man is the one who has the last saying and the woman just follows his lead? And the other way around is not normal? Why is it ok when the man is the main financial provider and the woman is the one staying home, but when the tables turn, it feels unnatural? When you think about it, it is just untraditional and it’s by no means unnatural and abnormal.
Females are just as capable as men and in some cases, even more. They have proven to be capable of leading countries and empires so what is a household or a relationship for them to lead.
The same as everything, a female led relationship has its advantages and disadvantages. I was in a relationship that you say was a female led relationship. This relationship was a while ago and I don’t have feelings for this man anymore, so I think I can be objective when talking about the benefits and the faults of a female led relationship.
One of the first advantages of any female led relationship is better communication. Although there is no need to generalize things, women are known to be better in communication then men, so if the woman is the one leading the relationship, the general communication in it will probably be better. To put it simple, most men are not good listeners and they don’t like talking about their emotions. On the other hand, women don’t run away from their feelings and have the urge to talk about their problems. When it comes to my former relationship, if it was up to my partner, we would never get to the bottom of some things. Instead, we would just be passive aggressive towards each other and eventually would have makeup sex. But, it was me who didn’t allow our problems to pile and I always insisted on solving everything that was bothering either of us right away. At first, I had a lot of trouble forcing him to communicate, because he was afraid of tackling some issues and thought it would lead to a break-up. Eventually, when we both learnt to express our feelings and dissatisfactions, I never allowed for neither of us to walk away while we were arguing. If we had a problem, that problem had to be solved and there is no moving on until we find a solution that would suit us both. Therefore, if a woman is leading the relationship, you can expect to have a much healthier communication, because she will insist on resolving one problem at a time.
Another big advantage of a female led relationship is the fact that women are usually more self-aware and aware of their surroundings than men. That means that we are the more emphatic sex and that we can sense a problem even before it occurs. While I was in a female led type of relationship, I had a great sense of intuition for my partner. I knew what my ex-boyfriend was feeling even without him saying it directly to me and that was something that improved our relationship, especially in the phase when he had trouble verbalizing his emotions.
While most men will have a hard time admitting it, a lot of them would actually enjoy having a female led relationship. First of all, it brings them a lot of pressure. The one who has the leading role also has much more responsibility. Besides, men are usually not so good in multitasking, so leading a relationship or a household can be demanding and challenging for them. On the other hand, women are known to be better organized and efficient. And while men generally hesitate to ask for help when they have a problem and hope it will just go away, women are different. We don’t think that asking for help will impact our ego, so we do it without hesitation, which makes us way better in the organization and in multitasking. My ex-boyfriend accepted this, so I was the one planning the trips, making the dinner reservations and so on. And although it might look exhausting, I was actually relieved, because it would be much harder for me to wonder if he had forgotten to do something. This doesn’t mean I didn’t trust my man enough, it just means that both of us were just aware that there are some things the other person is better at.
So far, everything seems perfect. So, you are probably wondering why my relationship ended. And this leads to some disadvantages of a female led relationship.
With time, my relationship started to look like a mother-child relationship. I don’t say it’s either of our fault, but my partner simply started relying on me too much and became too passive. After a while, I was doing everything for him and he acted as if he was deprived of the ability to make adult decisions. Our relationship wasn’t a healthy adult relationship anymore and it became his comfort zone. It is not the best thing to admit, but after a while, the relationship became a burden for me, because I started to feel like I have a child and not an equal partner, even though I never treated him as an inferior.
If you think of having a female led relationship, the most important thing is that both of the partners really agree about it. The other crucial matter is that a female led relationship doesn’t mean than one partner is relieved from all responsibility and the other one carries all the burden. Also, this type of relationship should never turn to be a power struggle. It is never about who is right, it is about what is the best for the two of you as a couple.
Remember that no matter who is the one leading the relationship, it doesn’t mean it will be perfect- a female lead relationship will face different challenges and issues, the same as every other.