Life Relationships

You Are So Much Stronger Than He Thinks

stronger than he thinks
Written by Selma

Sometimes, toxic relationships can ruin our self-confidence and our self-image. This is especially the case with romantic relationships. When you fall in love, this person’s opinion becomes very important for you. So, if you are involved with a guy who thinks less of you, his opinion will get to you, no matter how much you try to fight it. What consequently happens is that you project a different image of yourself to people around you. He wants you to think as weak and not good enough, so after a while, you also start to see yourself in that way. After some time, you become an insecure person and behave like that, which can be seen by everyone around you.

You don’t want it, but this person manages to change the essence of your personality. And it takes you a lot of time and effort to go back to the person you used to be, before he played with you.

If you are involved in a toxic relationship, you know exactly what I am talking about. Before you met this guy, you were a happy girl, full of self-esteem. You knew your value and you knew how strong you were. You didn’t have a problem with confronting anyone when they disrespect you or when they don’t treat you right. You knew you had only one life and didn’t want to spend it with people who didn’t deserve you. You didn’t waste your time and nerves on those people, because you had huge appreciation for yourself and for your mental health.

But, then he came. And he changed everything. You don’t know how it happened but you loved him so much that you allowed his every word and his every look to get to you. And he saw that and used it against you.  He has noticed the impact he had on you and instead of using it to make you feel better about yourself and to push you forward, he used every possible opportunity do diminish you in every possible way. At first, he wasn’t insulting you directly. But, he constantly implied that you are beneath him in all ways. Later, insults and other forms of disrespect began. And it distorted your image of how a relationship should look like. But, most of all, this man distorted the image you had of yourself.

And that was exactly what he wanted. When this guy first met you, he knew you were stronger than he was. He was aware of the fact that he couldn’t manipulate you the way you wanted and he knew you wouldn’t allow for everything in the relationship to be his way. So, he took it as a challenge. He tried hard to make you weak enough to be a suitable victim of his emotional manipulation.

This man kept using you to heal his personal frustrations and to boost his ego. In order to successfully achieve this, he had to convince himself you were weak because that was the only way for him to see himself as strong. This type of men can’t stand being in a relationship which is based on equal partnership. If he’d allow you to be your true, strong self, all of his insecurities would come out on the surface right away. He only wants you to think he is a strong, self-secure individual. But, actually, if you showed your true face and strength, this guy wouldn’t feel as he was a man enough, and he would be intimidated by you.

So, he lies himself and you, presenting you as the weak one.

But, you are much stronger than he thinks. And even more importantly, you are much stronger than you think. Deep down, there lies a warrior inside of you. You think that woman which you used to be doesn’t longer exist, but trust me- she does. You just buried her, but it won’t take you much to wake her up.

And I am not talking about your physical strength here. I am talking about your inner power and your inner muscle. This guy is not and will never be aware of your potential and of everything you are capable of.

And even if he knows it, he doesn’t want to face it. Because this is his biggest fear- for you to become self-confident, strong woman you used to be. Because he knows he can’t have any impact on you the moment you rediscovered yourself. And he knows that this woman, your true self, would never put up with him and the way he treats you and he knows she will walk away the moment she wakes up.

So, he does everything in his power to convince both of you that you are weak, that you need him in your life and that you are simply incapable of doing anything on your own. He wants to convince you and himself that you should be lucky to have him and that you should be thankful for his behaviour towards you. After all, he is pretending like he is doing everything for your own good- so he could strengthen you and prepare you for life difficulties.

But, you don’t need this guy to show you how strong you are, because he is doing exactly the opposite. You don’t need anyone but yourself to show him how strong you are. You have a power inside of you that only awaits to be discovered.

Many people in your life, including your current partner, have tried to diminish you and your strength. But, what you need to think about is about all the things you have gone through that have made you stronger. You need to remember of all the problems and challenges life has put in front of you. And you’ve defeated every one of them.

So, why do you allow this one man to ruin your strength and to ruin you as a person?

Show him your true potential! Show him who you really are and show him everything you are capable of and what you really deserve. Show this man he has to treat you right because you won’t tolerate anything else. Show him that you deserve respect and that he has to be respectful if he wants to have you in his life.

This guy will never know that you have all the resources that you need to be a strong individual unless you stand up for yourself. He will never know all the potential and the possibilities you have unless you put him in his place.

You are not only a strong woman- you are strong as a person and as an individual and everyone around you should be aware of it. Sometimes, you don’t even know that because you’ve allowed the wrong people to be the center of your world.

Stop relying on him or on anyone else. You are your best friend. Just be brave and find the strength you know you have inside of you.

I know you probably think you can’t do it. And he thinks it, as well. But surprise him. And surprise yourself. Once you start showing your true potential and strength, everything positive will follow. I know you can do it and I know you have it in you!

About the author

Selma

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