You Are Not Demanding If You Want Someone to Care About You

demanding

Every person in the world has their own needs and demands. Considering this fact, we need to make a distinction between lust for someone and being obsessed with someone. Also, people often mix the need for attention with the state when you are desperate. Those things could never mean the same.

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    All normal human beings have in their nature the wish to make a connection or to be in a relationship with the person who is making him or her happy. Not many people would let others behave inappropriately to them. Many people don’t settle for less than they are worth. When we love, we want love in return. When we care about someone, we pick exactly those people for whom we can guarantee that they will care for us and love us too. Equal attention is the main thing we search for in a perfect love life. Many people would wait, no matter how long, until they find a perfect partner who is going to love and understand them. They would also give the same.

    The problem is that we have certain rules in relationships. What makes things funnier is that we have made the rules. We set some borders, and we don’t want to cross over them. Also, if we have not been in a relationship for a long time, we fear saying anything that comes to our mind. Even though there is no need to be afraid of anything, still we are afraid of saying things aloud. We fear that if we say our opinion about something, it could be misunderstood. So we started accepting everything in order to not be too demanding.

    If we call our partner in order to let them know we want to spend some time with them, it doesn’t mean that we want to be with them all the time. If we text our partner once in a while, it can’t be the same as when we are texting them every half an hour.

    When we call our partner, it doesn’t mean that we have no stuff to do. If a person falls in love on first sight, why does he need a second thought about calling this girl out? If we are completely opened up to our partner, why do we keep secrets about how much we care? What I want to say is that if we want someone to care about us, to respect us and love us, it doesn’t make us demanding people. It is not our duty to give someone attention and love. It is just normal if you care about someone.

    We often forget about our own value. That is the reason why some people will gladly use us and leave as soon as possible, leaving us in pain. It happens because we don’t know how to say when it’s enough, but we choose to put up with it as much as we can handle.

    People who care about us will never let us down—they know when it is enough and they would never play with our feelings. They are opened up as much as we are, so we always know where we stand. There are no mixed feelings or anything that would make us insecure.

    When we finally meet someone who we are really safe with, we won’t feel demanding. We won’t be intrusive. This person will show his interest in being with us. So this feeling of commitment would be the same. My advice to you is to stop thinking about every single move you make. Instead, feel free to kiss who you want to kiss, to ask out whoever you want to go out with, to love whoever you want to love.

    Don’t avoid people that you find attractive, because you will regret one day for everything you didn’t have the guts to do. You need to find the right person who won’t make you demanding, but who will care about you as much as you care about him.

    It is normal to require the same amount of attention and love as you are giving to someone. You want normal things, and it doesn’t make you a demanding person. You are an emotional human being and you want completely normal things, and that is the presence of a person who cares about you.

     

    About the author

    Kirsten Blackwood

    A mental health writer and advocate. Currently I write about depression. My work has always been centered around health as I previously worked at a variety of healthcare-focused agencies. I wanted to help people who were struggling with an illness or disability, but often times didn’t feel the work I was doing was providing the right voice to the people I was trying to help. Here, I can connect to you in your journey by encouraging you to share the good, the bad, and moments in-between.

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