Family Heartbreak Life Relationships

The Truth Is, Being A Mother Is Much More Than Giving Birth

being a mother
Written by Karen Clark

I did not expect this to be my path in life. I always thought the definition of being a mother meant, “giving birth” because honestly, I was so closed minded to that fact that mothers are still mothers even if they are not biologically related or have given birth.

There are a lot of people who think I’m not a “real mom” or look down on me because I never gave birth to a child that I take care of. I’ve been asked so many times when I will  have my own” and I have to say with a smile, “when I’m given that opportunity.”

There were months and months I’ve tried to create a baby yet it has never happened. A lot of that time, I don’t understand why I haven’t been able to give birth but that doesn’t mean I’m less of a mother. Mothers aren’t always who we think. They are step mothers, adoptive mothers, a woman who’ve lost their children, and who have constantly had miscarriages.

See, I’ve created life. I held a baby in my tummy but that baby never had the chance to be born. I took care of my body for that short amount of time and I cared and nurtured them as they developed. Yet, sadly they couldn’t survive. I never gave birth but that does not mean I’m not a mother.

I’ve taken care of a child that I met when he was only three years old. I choose to grow up quickly and to take care of that child as if he was my own. So much of my life has been dedicated to this child, yet, when people say I’m not a “real mom” they never understand all of what I do, what I’ve been through, what I’ve done, and what I’ve sacrificed.

Sometimes I want to scream, “Do you know how much I sacrificed?” My credit and to put myself in debt to provide a home for this child a home in a great neighborhood and great school he attends. I have pushed the issue and made appointments when his health was neglected. I have sat with my husband in court as he was falsely accused of abusing his son. I’ve read my name trashed on Facebook by people who do not even know me. I have gone months and months without buying makeup, my hair done, or things I use to be able to do before he came into my life. I understood that I needed to put my stepson first instead of wasting my money on things I never really needed.

I often wonder do they even know how much money I’ve spent on haircuts, clothes, his health, his glasses, but I am still the bad guy because you choose to believe lies about me?

But I don’t say a word. Not because I’m weak but because I know who I am and what I stand for. I silently succeed in my own life and do what’s best for my family. I choose to not let this get under my skin even when my reputation is being distorted by lies. I choose to let my life prove the truth. See no matter who tries to bring me down, make me feel inferior, I will never succumb to their level. So they can continue to try and ruin me. They can try and tell whoever they want what they want them to believe. The truth will always remain the truth no matter how much you cover it up or omit the facts. The way I carry myself, how hard I work, and the way I choose to live my life will always prove otherwise.


About the author

Karen Clark

Hi! I'm Karen. My friends call me "Ms Fix It” for my unique ability to solve people's problems and shift their self sabotaging patterns in life & love with remarkable speed and thoroughness. It's simple. If you have an issue in your personal life, career, relationships or love life, I will fix it, and fast.