Love Relationships

5 Things to Work On If You Want to Improve Your Sex Life

Sex life
Written by Selma

Sex is an important part of every healthy, mature relationship. Although you may think differently, enjoying it is not so complicated if you and your partners also have some other qualities as a couple. Sex is never an isolated element of the relationship- it is in a collision with everything else happening in it and in both of you as individuals. But, sadly, many people focus on the physical part of it only and seem to forget that there are many things out of the bedroom that has a great impact on the happenings inside of it.

If you want to have an active sex life, the first thing you have to do is work on your physical, emotional and mental health. You may think that things such as getting enough sleep or working on your diet habits don’t have much to do with sex, but they are actually quite important. Of course, you also need to get yourself in shape to lead an active sex life. If you want to have a great sex life, your cardiovascular and nervous system have to be healthy and that is impossible if you don’t take good care of your body.

Another thing that has a huge impact on your sex life is your state of mind. When you have a lot of things going on inside your head, it is perfectly natural that you can’t relax enough and that you bring your daily problems in bed with you. Of course, that affects your sexual performance and enjoyment. What you need to do is to find a stress-management program that works best for you. That can be exercising, yoga, meditation or any other thing that relaxes you. But, no matter how much we try, it is impossible to lead a completely stress-free life. You’ll face with tensions sooner or later, but it’s your duty not to allow them to interfere with your sex life. The best thing you can do is to set yourself up with a rule- once you enter the bedroom, you are not allowed to think or talk about things that cause you stress, being that work, money problems or any other issues you might be having. This may seem impossible to achieve in the beginning, but with time, you’ll train your brain into doing it and it will become a healthy habit for you and your partner.

Next, to your health, the thing you should work on is selfishness. Remember that everything in a relationship is a two-way street, including sex. You can’t expect to have a good sex life if you are selfish and think of your pleasure only nor can you expect it if you wait for the other person to do all the work.

Besides from being selfish, many people don’t enjoy intimacy with their partners, because they are not honest with themselves and with their significant others. People tend to think that the other person intuitively knows what they want and need. Although that is often true, we are all different and our partner needs to know about our preferences. This is especially the case in the beginning of the relationship. People, especially women, are generally ashamed of verbalizing what are the things they enjoy. Sometimes, they don’t even know it themselves, because they are not in touch with their sexuality. When you meet a new lover, it is impossible for them to know what turns you on or off, unless you specifically tell them or show them. This is the person you are having sex with, so why would you think it is shameful to teach them what you like and to learn about the things they like?

Another common problem that can be seen in many couples that have been together for ages is that one of them doesn’t want to be honest about the fact that they don’t enjoy their intimate moments, as much as they should. Women are the ones who do this more often than men. They think they’ll ruin their partner’s ego and self-confidence if they tell him he needs to work on his sexual skills or that they are not satisfied with the way the two of them make love. They don’t want to hurt their partners, so they pretend that everything is more than great in bed and keep silent for years. This is wrong on many levels. First of all, you are not being honest with your partner about such an important thing. I am sure your partner would like you to tell him straight away what the problem is, so you both can work on it. Secondly, sex should be enjoyable for everyone involved, so why would you consciously deprive yourself of that pleasure? If you have a problem with verbalizing your dissatisfaction, find another way to let them know what the problem is and how you can both work on solving it.

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