It happened to me not only once, that I am afraid of letting things or someone go, but also it hurts because I am holding on those people or things.
When we fall in love, or if we catch the fancy of somebody, it is hard for us to listen to what people around are trying to tell us. We have that blockade and we can’t see clearly because of it. There is a hard way to find a solution to our problem.
It is much easier if you are someone who is alongside the game than if you are a player of one.
Once before a few years ago, I was someone who tried so hard to make it with a man who wasn’t worth it, and all the people around me watched me try. I gave my best to make a man love me, and in all that effort I made, I actually forgot about my own needs and self-love. I didn’t listen to anyone who tried to convince me that I was losing myself.
Instead of listening to those people who only wanted to help me, I begged one man to try to commit to me. I hunted him, I implored him, I wept, and all that in vain. He was one of those terrible people who are able to manipulate you just to have what they want. Those breeds usually want to get into your bed and after they are satisfied, they disappear. Soon enough you find yourself spinning around and fighting against depression.
When you don’t want to help yourself and get out of it like every normal person should, then the people around you also give up on you. You lose your dignity for nothing. People start to disrespect you. However, you still can’t get the fact that you are not valuable to him. Did you ever actually ask yourself why? Well, maybe because you are the one in the first place who has no self-respect and self-love, so why do you still expect from him to treat you differently?
You can easily become a victim and that is only because you are afraid. You fear that if you start to care a little bit more about yourself, your partner would leave you. Afraid of losing a person who you love, but who never loved you and who never actually belonged to you.
The most important parts you may have in these moments of losing yourself are your friendships. Let me tell you that they are way more important than your so-called partner. If you have some really honest friends, they would gladly tell you their opinion. Most of the time, they are right. Also, most of the time we choose not to listen to them. So, even though they may be right, you get away from them and keep on fighting to win the heart and care of your uninterested partner. It is only you now. Not anyone else.
But your loving partner only knows how to hurt you more and more. He was actually indecisive in his intentions. One day he would come to you and tell you that he cares, but another day he was a complete asshole with no heart and emotions. It was a very hurtful experience.
Still, you chased him and you didn’t want to give up. You never wanted to admit to yourself that what your friends used to tell you was actually right. You abandoned them because they were honest; because they wanted to help you get out of that toxicity. It was hard for you to think wisely. It was hard because your emotions overwhelmed you.
What you imagined turned out to be just a fantasy, and if you could only think a little about that, you would end things, much sooner than before. You definitely wouldn’t wait for that long. Facing the truth was not easy for anyone in the world.
Sooner or later people get tired. You got tired of trying. It wasn’t easy to call your friends after all, telling them that they were right. Then, of course you start regretting that spent time on trying to force him to feel something for you, to love you as much as you loved him.
You knew that you almost became insane, and you even blamed yourself after all. Thinking all over again, you always ended up feeling guilt. But the guilt is not because you loved a man with an emotional blockade, but because you thought you didn’t try enough. After all you have been through, you dared to blame yourself. How could it be anything less than emotional instability?
Not only you were a victim of his games, but many other girls have gone through the exact same thing. You figured out finally that it definitely was not about you. You did all that was in your power to try to get closer to this man. There is no chance to force someone to commit oneself. No chance to force someone to love you. It simply doesn’t work that way.
Many people would tell you that the hardest thing is to love someone who doesn’t love you in return. Even worse is when you love a person who loves another one. But you need to find out the way to live through that, because you can’t force anyone to love you. YOU CAN’T!
Not everyone deserves you, not everyone deserves to be loved. You need to face the fact that there are people who don’t care, no matter how hard you are trying. If you can’t recognize those who will hurt you, try to listen to your friends sometimes. Try to ask other people’s opinions. Surly, the final decision is yours. After all, that is your freakin’ life.
People survive many things, so you will definitely survive this pain you are going through. Take this experience as your power. Don’t make the same mistake twice. You will surely find a person who will love you without forcing him to.
It is not fair if you keep saying you are unhappy and you are the one who is letting your partner make you unhappy. You don’t get to complain about something that you are choosing for yourself. Stop spinning in circles and just live life for a little while.
Refocus energy on yourself whenever you feel that you are trying to make someone love you in vain.
Every minute that you are wasting in vain is going to become a wasted life.