Love Relationships

Why You Should Stop Dating the Same Type of Guys

the same type of guys
Written by Karen Clark

Most of us usually have a type of guys we are drawn to and that we eventually date. You may not be aware of it, but if you think about it more carefully and look at all, or at most of your exes, you’ll realize they have at least something in common. That thing can be the way they look, the way they looked at you, the way they dressed, the way they smiled, the music they listened to or something else. But, in most cases, what they have in common are some personality traits or simply the way they treated you in a relationship. Although they don’t appear to have anything in common at first glance, once you get to know them, you realize they all belong to the same type of guys.

You may think that dating one type of guys makes your dating life simpler, because you know what you want, but it doesn’t always have to be the case. Dating and looking for the same guys actually puts you in a box and it doesn’t have to mean that it will give you a relationship you hope and need. So, maybe it’s about time to break out of your habits and realize that dating out of your type can have more than one benefit.

First of all, it can help you broaden your perspective and it gives you numerous opportunities. If you limit yourself to just one type of guys, you are depriving yourself for anyone outside of that type. It is possible that there are many guys who would fit you and who could give you everything you need, but you don’t know that because you never gave them a chance just because you didn’t think of them as your type.

Sometimes, it may be scary and challenging for you to break off the patterns of dating you are used to. It is obvious that your relationships from the past didn’t work out, so it is possible that you are looking for the wrong type of men. You do this because these men seem familiar to you and you keep on choosing them, even if you subconsciously know how things will end between you two and even if you are aware of their personality traits that don’t suit you. But, you end up picking them because you think you know how to act around them and you are afraid to get involved with someone who is new to you, because you think you won’t be able to handle them. It is easier for you to know what to expect, even if it is something bad.

Another possibility is that you are not completely over some guy from the past, so you are searching for him in every new man you meet. Maybe you can’t get over the fact that things didn’t work out the way you wanted them to with this one guy from your past and you are trying to correct your mistakes with someone new. Or maybe you just hope to feel again the same way this guy has made you feel, so you are looking for men similar to him. Either way, it’s time for you break off those habits and patterns of behaviour.

The first thing you need to do is to face your type’s flaws and understand why they didn’t work well for you. You may think that this type is good for you at first glance, but they are obviously not compatible with you on the long run or you would have stayed with at least one of your exes. So, if you happen to meet a new guy but realize he is the same type as all of your ex boyfriends, remember why things didn’t work out in the past and it will be easier for you to walk away.

Accept the fact that you are the one attracting these guys and that you are the only one who can take things in your hands and change. Yes, when you first give a chance to someone out of your type it may feel awkward in the beginning, and not everything will go as you planned, but that is the beauty of it. You will have a chance of rediscovering yourself and you’ll be able to be in a different kind of relationship that could suit you better.

Dating someone out of your type will bring you out of your comfort zone, which is a good thing and you shouldn’t be afraid of it. It will not only widen your horizon, but it will also give you the potential for your personal growth. Remember, you can never know your full capacities until you try out something or someone new.

It’s important not to limit yourself and not to overthink your every move. I am not saying you shouldn’t think things through before you act, but sometimes, it is ok to make mistakes, because they can serve you as a valuable lesson. Breaking out of your comfort zone and out of your dating type is all about allowing yourself to be flexible and seeing what is out there.

Every relationship takes effort and patience and that is especially the case with someone who is an unfamiliar type for you. But, you’ll never know what is waiting for you out there until you try.