There doesn’t exist a strict manual on how to be a good lover or on how to recognize and find one. Finding a good lover is not just about being with someone who is compatible with you in bed- it also means finding someone who will make you feel good about yourself and about the relationship the two of you are having. A good lover is not just a man who is good in bed- a good lover is someone you are connected and intimate with on so many levels. For a man to be a good lover, he has to have some qualities outside of the bedroom as well. There are certain personality traits and behaviours most men who are considered to be good lovers share and here are some of them.
- You are drawn by his smell
You may not know it, but someone’s scent is the first thing that sexually attracts you to that person. So, if a man smells nice and his scent is suitable for you, this will probably trigger your sexual interest without you even being aware of it. I am not talking about the perfume here only- all of us have a body odour characteristic just for us and if it happens that you find a guy’s natural smell pleasing, it is probable that the two of you will get along well in bed. Therefore, this is one of the things you should pay attention on while trying to determine whether a man is a good lover.
- He makes you laugh
Contrary to the popular opinion that most women are drawn to good looks, there are numerous other characteristics that make a man more desirable and one of them is a sense of humour. If you and your potential sexual partner share a similar sense of humour, it is likely that you two will be compatible in bed, as well. If a guy can make you laugh, he makes you feel relaxed and more comfortable during conversations and with time, you’ll transfer this feeling to the bedroom, as well. Besides, this guy obviously enjoys seeing you smile and that means he tries to make you feel happy. Therefore, this is a sign he will continue doing so in bed.
- He has a creative side
Men who are creative and have different and unusual hobbies are often more open to communication and intimacy and that makes them great lovers. In most cases, they are also hyper sensitive, which helps them see what is that you really want and need even if you are not aware of it or if you don’t say it out loud. Also, these guys are in tune with their senses and are usually very much self-aware, which improves their love making skills. They usually think out of the box which broadens their horizons regarding everything in life, including sex. So, if you happen to run into a guy who is in touch with his creative side, expect him to be innovative and creative in the bedroom, the same way he is with everything else.
- He is spontaneous
Love making cannot be perceived as a business arrangement or an obligation. If you are trying to figure out whether some guy is a good lover, pay attention to whether he is spontaneous or not. If he is, he won’t try to make love to you by the book and by a pre-set program. Instead, this guy knows that there are no rules in bed, as long as both of you are comfortable with everything that is going on. He will go with the flow and will never have the same repertoire. You will never be bored in bed with this man, even after some time together, because he’ll never cease to amaze and surprise you with some new and spontaneous moves.
- He pays attention to you
One of the characteristics all good lovers share is the way they pay attention to women around them. If a guy truly listens to everything you have to say and pays attention to the smallest details in everyday life, he will be the same in the bedroom. If a man is a good lover, he will especially pay attention to nonverbal clues you are sending him. Sometimes, in the beginning, you won’t feel comfortable verbalizing everything you want or don’t want but when a guy is a good lover, he knows how to read the signs your body is sending him without you even saying a single word.
- He respects you
A man who respects you in everyday life has one of the most important preconditions of being a good lover. Yes, it is important to have a guy who pleases you sexually, but it is even more crucial to find a lover who respects your boundaries, no matter what. This guy knows how to accept a “no” for an answer and won’t ever do something you are not 100% comfortable with. This doesn’t mean he won’t be up for different games in bed or that he will be too serious- he just won’t continue doing anything that he sees you are not completely ok with.
- He is gentle
Many men can’t control their hormones when they get turned out and sometimes they forget to be gentle. But, if a guy is not afraid to show you his gentle side outside of the bedroom, he will probably know when it’s time to show it inside of the bedroom, as well. Of course, he knows how to be passionate when the situation requires it, but he will also know the importance of building intimacy on different levels besides sexual. This guy will know when you just want a hug and a gentle kiss and won’t mind giving you just that and it is something you want in your life.
- He is not selfish
What makes a bad lover bad is his egocentrism. If a guy is narcissistic and self-centred in everyday life, he will probably be the same way in bed, as well. When your lover is selfish, he only thinks about pleasing himself and he can never be good in bed. These men usually have huge ego problems and get easily insulted when you tell them you are not enjoying yourself to the fullest. On the other hand, if he is generous, takes care of you and your needs, he will behave in the same manner in bad. This guy will go out of his way to satisfy you and will never think his job is done until both of you are pleased.
- He is reliable
For most women, being a good lover doesn’t have to do with sex only. No matter how good of technique a guy has, you can never enjoy yourself with him if you don’t feel relaxed around him outside the bedroom. And a man has to earn your trust for you to feel comfortable and relaxed around him. So, if you consider a guy to be reliable and supportive, you’ll probably get along in bed because these qualities of his create a more positive atmosphere for you and help you relax in the bedroom as well.