Friendship Heartbreak Life

Losing a Friend… How Does it Feel?

losing a friend
Written by Nela Baricevic

Losing a friend can be really painful. No matter the reason, you may never forget the time spent together, jokes the two of you had, funny nicknames that you gave each other on a regular basis, secrets that you shared. It’s true, you may never forget the person who used to be on your side while you needed it the most. It’s definitely true, you may never forget the promises which you gave each other, the plans the two of you had… but as time passes, you will be happy again. Happy with the new people and happy with your new life.

Losing a friend feels like a real disaster. I know because I went through it. I lost a friend and she lost me too. Forever. It takes time to acknowledge to yourself that there is no turning back. There is no chance to reunite. Because once someone breaks your heart and walks away, you owe it to yourself to pick up the broken pieces and turn your back. Once and forever.

She moved away. She moved to a foreign country. But our friendship failed before that. Our friendship failed the moment in which she didn’t give me an opportunity to say goodbye. To be completely true, she didn’t give me an opportunity to even talk to her about that decision. She decided. She did it. And then, after a few months, she wrote me a message on Facebook from the other part of the world. Real, true friends don’t do that. From that moment on, I knew I couldn’t count on her. I finally admitted to myself that the last few years of our friendship she answered my calls only when she needed me. She wrote me a message only when she was bored. She came to know I existed only when she had nobody else to give her a hand.

I knew I wasn’t anybody’s nobody. Neither her nobody. So it was time for her to find some new Mrs. Nobody. It was time for her to realize I’m not going to be there forever. I’m not going to hold her side when everything falls apart.

She was my friend. My real high school friend. Best one. For years. At moments she was my shining star. My guardian angel. My number one. At that time she was my partner in crime. My morning coffee. My evening walk.

I can’t say we grew up together, but I can say we were best friends for years. Twelve years to be exact. Twelve years are now gone with the wind. I will let them go. I must let them go.

How does it feel? I have already told you that losing a friend is a real disaster. It hurts and it won’t stop in a matter of a week or two. You must allow yourself to grieve. But then you should move on. Find some new activity, go out, nurture other friendships, and, of course, focus on yourself.

To be honest, this is a great opportunity for you to get to know yourself better. Focus on things that are making you happy. Focus on people who truly love you and who are there for you.

Open up your heart. There are so many wonderful things, there are so many friendships, there are so many great people who are waiting for you to open your heart. Don’t just stand there trying to catch earlier happiness. Go find a new one. New happiness. New friend. Fresh start.

Losing a friend can be really painful. I went through it. So believe me, I know. But the pain is not an excuse to freeze yourself and be stuck in the middle of nowhere. Put a little smile on your face. Go and meet new people. Try to trust. Try to love. It is a must.


About the author

Nela Baricevic