This Is How You Love A Woman Who Has Been Cheated On In The Past

Written by Chloe M.

Once you feel what it’s like to be cheated on, you never fully regain the ability to trust someone. Even if that someone has proven time after time they are not that kind of person who would break your trust and hurt you on purpose. When we become aware that the man we loved so deeply, the man who claimed he loved us with the same depth, was capable of committing such terrible breach of trust, we might promise ourselves to never give another man a chance to break our heart. But whether we liked it or not, eventually we will develop feelings for someone new. When that happens, that new man entering our life will have to know these things about loving a woman who has been cheated on.

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    We need time.

    We’ve been badly burnt the last time we fell for someone. So you can’t expect us to move as fast as you might like. Getting too attached too fast is the last thing on our mind. Caution comes first, so we will need as much time as we can muster to make sure we know what we’re getting into with the new man in our life.

    Avoid doing anything that can make us feel not good enough.

    Like letting your eyes wander around while you’re with us. I get that it’s natural to look, but avoid doing it in our company. Also, don’t rave about your female friends or coworkers. I know that this sounds like too much to ask, but we’ve seen all that before. And it resulted with a man of our dreams cheating on us. So, when you do something like that around us, the first thought to go through our head will be that we’re not good enough to you. And eventually, you will cheat on us too. That is guaranteed to make us run for the hills.

    Try not to be irritated by all the questions.

    One of the ”side effects” of being cheated on is constant paranoia. So when you get a phone call, text message, go out or say hi to a person we’ve never seen before, get ready for some questions. If you have a problem with that, then you should definitely go your separate ways. But if you really care about being with that particular woman, well get ready to answer those questions, too. It’s not unreasonable to want to know who you’re going out with anyway. And the least you can do to ease the paranoia is to answer everything as honestly as you can.

    Suffer through the story about the ex at least once.

    You want to understand why we’re paranoid and jumpy all the time, right? Well, the best way to understand it is to hear the story about the ex. So, if you want to understand your woman’s pain and her standpoint, let her talk about it. You’ll see things clearer and it will be therapeutic in a way for her.

    Don’t let us forget you love us.

    Once you’re cheated on, all the confidence you had is crushed to dust. You will hardly ever feel good enough for someone else. I mean, I wasn’t good enough, worthy enough, for the one man I thought values me the most. How can I be good for someone else, someone new? So if you don’t say or show that much how you feel about her because you think it should be obvious by now, stop assuming. Nothing is obvious to us. Tell us, remind us, we need to hear it a lot to eventually believe it.

    Open up to us.

    If you have had any kind of bad experiences with the women in your past, don’t hide it. Open up, talk about it. Even if it seems small to you compared to what we’ve been through. Doesn’t matter, open up about it. It will mean a lot because not only does it show us you understand because you have felt hurt before, it tells us we’re not alone.

    Don’t keep us waiting on the reply for too long.

    We understand you’re busy and we’re not the only thing happening in your life. But there’s only so much understanding left in us for waiting on the reply. So try not to make it too long. Because the more you postpone it, the more we doubt. Paranoid thoughts do the thing and soon we start wondering what is keeping you for so long? Are you lying to us? Are we being cheated on again?

    Never doubt us.

    And this one is mostly personal experience. But once you feel that betrayal on your skin, you will never think about doing such a thing in a million years, even if we’re being tempted every waking minute of our life. So, when it comes to honesty, there is absolutely no need to be suspicious of a woman that has been cheated on.

    Never lie to us.

    Not even white lies can get a pass with us. Once we realize you’ve done it, doesn’t matter if it was small and if you thought it’s for our own good. We will never stop wondering what else have you lied about, if you’re capable to lie to us in the first place. You don’t want to put yourself through the mess that ensues once you lose our trust. There might not be a way to get it back.

    About the author

    Chloe M.

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