Dating, loving, and being in a relationship is challenging and requires a lot of patience and hard work. But being involved with and loving an emotionally unavailable man is even more demanding.
Before you get yourself into this, know that you are about to start an adventure of a lifetime—and not only in a good way.
The first thing you need to know about this emotionally unavailable man is that he is probably scared of love and that he has some deeper emotional issues that have caused his behavior. He has probably been hurt in the past badly. It doesn’t have to mean that another girl has hurt him, but someone has definitely caused him a lot of emotional pain. So, he is simply not used to giving and receiving love. And he is afraid of allowing anyone in or opening up to someone because he thinks he’ll just end up hurt.
Most men are usually not the greatest fans of displaying emotions. On the other hand, most women love to make their partner feel loved. We like to talk about our feelings and usually don’t miss out on an opportunity to verbalize our emotions. Men are different by nature. They are simple creatures and think that if they are with you, it is implied they love you.
But when it comes to every emotionally unavailable man, he is even stricter in this view. He is a person who will rarely, or almost never, tell you how he really feels and will not act on your displays of affection the way he should. So, you can make an impression that he doesn’t love your or enjoy being loved by you.
And that is where you will be wrong. All that every emotionally unavailable man really needs is someone to teach him what love is. But he will project totally the opposite of what he wants and needs the most. He craves for true intimacy and a deep connection with you, but his fears don’t allow him to express that. He has worked hard to build thick walls around him and to develop his defense mechanism, so he is not ready to tear down those walls just for anyone.
And you’ll have to be pretty special and consistent to change that.
This guy could love you hard and could plan a future with you, but if he is an emotionally unavailable man, he will always hold on a piece of himself for himself only. So, you may end up feeling unloved, unwanted, and rejected. All of this can distort your view on love and relationships and can make you feel insecure and not good enough. But what you need to know is that every emotionally unavailable man is simply like that and you shouldn’t blame yourself.
Another thing you should never do when it comes to a man who is not emotionally available is push too hard. If you insist on making a bond between you guys before he is ready for it, you’ll only accomplish the opposite. If you insist and push him too hard to talk about his feelings towards you and emotions in general, you won’t attract him to you. Instead, he will only be afraid of the depth of your relationship and will run away, even if he loves you.
Loving an emotionally unavailable man is hard, I won’t lie to you. When you enter this type of relationship, you never know what will come out of it. You don’t know if you will succeed to heal and fix him or if he will be the one to emotionally damage you for life.
If you think this is a risk you can’t take, walk away on time. If you leave him when he starts opening up to you, you’ll just end up making him even more broken.
But if you think that this emotionally unavailable man is worthy of your time, patience, energy, and most of all, worthy of your love, all that you can do is be there for him and wait for him to be ready to give himself completely to you. Don’t try to change him—this is who he is. Just make sure he knows he will have your love and support, no matter what. Instead of working on him, work on yourself. The more positive vibes you send to him and the happier and more secure you are, the more receptive he will be. Eventually, he will show you how much he really loves you and how much he appreciates everything you’ve done for him, and all of this hard work will have a point and it will pay off.