We are at the start of a new year. You are probably surrounded by all that “New Year, New Me” mantra inspired activity. Therefore, I won’t be convincing you that there are New Year’s resolutions you should consider, because let’s face it—you would probably break half of them by the end of the month anyway.
But if you want to have a fresh start, it’s the right time to do one thing, and it’s finding the strength in yourself to forgive. I would like that we all, including me, start a new year in our lives by simple forgiveness.
I know many people have hurt you in the past. And you probably think they don’t deserve anything good from you, let alone your forgiveness. But I am not saying you should forget the harm done to you. And I am especially not saying you should let those people back in your life.
All I am saying is that you should not let those people and the things they’ve done be a burden to you. Instead, you should learn how to forgive.
Not for their sake, but for your own sake. Trust me, most of these people don’t even remember they’ve hurt you. They don’t have a strong consciousness which haunts them. If they did have it, they wouldn’t treat you or anyone else the way they did in the first place.
So, forget about them. Forget about karma as well. If they are meant to be punished, it will be so, and it is not your job to think about that. Your only job is to think about yourself.
By not forgiving someone who has done you harm, you are not hurting them nor are you paying them back. You are only harming yourself. As if it is not enough that this person has hurt you in the past and, therefore, affected your life in that period—you are now allowing them to continue doing so.
You may not be fully aware of it, but you have changed. Your emotional wounds from the past have caused you more negativity and pain in your present life than you could ever imagine.
Resentment has turned you into a bitter person. Not only are you hurting yourself this way, you are also giving tribute to the people who have hurt you, by giving them space in your mind and heart that they, by any means, did not deserve.
Of course, they don’t deserve to receive your forgiveness, as well. But you did deserve to give it.
You deserve to live a happy life again, to be an emotionally available and positive person in general.
So, be the better person! Show them and, most importantly, show yourself that you are above them in every way possible. Do not be someone who is looking to get even, because that won’t satisfy you either. The only thing that will satisfy you completely is letting go.
Besides, the best revenge for anyone who has hurt you is to walk past them with a big, sincere smile on your face. It sends a message of happiness—it shows that you are strong and brave and that they haven’t ruined you.
Of course, be careful not to let these people back in your life, no matter what. I am not advising you to love them—we are all just human beings and that is impossible. But, don’t hate them either. When you are full of hate, sooner or later, you become its prisoner and that is the last thing you want.
In a crazy way, you can be thankful to anyone who has done you harm. First of all, they’ve shown you their true face—someone you never want to be and someone you will never become. Second of all, they have shown you how brave and strong you are—you’ve put up with all of this pain and you’ve managed to survive, didn’t you? So, just look at them as a part of your past and as a valuable lesson.
But, most importantly, find strength to forgive yourself.
Forgive yourself for not knowing better than letting the wrong people become a part your life. Forgive yourself for allowing them to hurt you. Forgive yourself for not walking away before. Remember, it wasn’t your fault. The way we treat others is just a reflection of ourselves.
So, by forgiving everyone who has caused you pain and by forgiving yourself for letting it happen, you are only once again showing the magnitude of your heart.
Remember, it is the only way to move forward with your life and to look into the future.