Love Relationships

4 Important Questions to Ask a New Partner

questions to ask a new partner
Written by Selma

When you get involved with a new person, you usually don’t think about the future and live day by day, because you don’t know how long this new romance will last and how serious it may become. This way, you can end up in a long-term relationship with someone who is not compatible with you, but you don’t know what do because you have grown to love this person long ago. So, in order to avoid this, here are some questions to ask a new partner right from the beginning of your relationship.

Some of these questions can seem too serious for a new romance, but trust me, they are crucial for building a new relationship. Therefore, here are four important questions to ask a new partner which will help you know if you two are compatible or not.


Why did your last relationship end?

Some of the most important questions to ask a new partner are related to their previous relationships. Wanting to know the reason why his last relationship ended may seem too direct and too personal for the beginning of a romance, but it is actually crucial. It’s not important for you to know the actual reason for their breakup—what you need to know is your new partner’s behavior towards it. If he puts all the blame on his former partner, it can be a sign that he isn’t able to take responsibility for his actions. If he is frustrated while talking about the breakup, it can be a sign that he is still not over his ex. On the other hand, if he doesn’t talk poorly about his ex or about the relationship the two of them had, it is probable that he has moved on and that there is nothing you should be afraid of.

What do you think about marriage and kids?

Asking this can seem like you got overly attached, but actually, before you know it, you two can be in a serious relationship without having this resolved. So, this is one of the questions to ask a new partner from the start. Everyone has an opinion about marriage and kids and it’s usually a deal breaker. Maybe you don’t believe in marriage or don’t plan on having kids and are looking just for a casual fling, while your partner is in search of a serious relationship that might lead to starting a family. Or vice versa. Either way, it’s very important for both partners to be frank about their views regarding this topic right from the start. Instead, you can get yourself in a situation where you two are deeply in love but simply don’t share the same opinion about one of the most important issues there is. When something like this occurs, you have an option of breaking up and being heartbroken or one of you has to give up on the lifestyle they imagined. Either way, one (or both) of you may end up miserable, so it’s better to straighten things up right away.

Are you religious?

Questions regarding religion and spirituality are one of the important questions to ask a new partner. When you enter a new relationship, it is probable that neither of you will start this topic. But, you definitely should. If your religion is important to you, you want your kids to be raised following the same ideas. And maybe this guy you’ve just met is also religious and insists on living his life according to his religion. Or he is an atheist who is against everything related to religion and could never live with a person who is religious, let alone, allow his children to be raised in a religious manner. This is one of the most important deal breakers for everyone, similar to marriage and having kids, and therefore, should be discussed right away, to avoid potential problems in the future.

How do you act if someone has a different opinion than you?

By asking this question, you will actually see how your partner feels about compromise and meeting halfway. Of course, when you ask anyone what they think about compromise, most people will say there are all for it. But, sadly, practice shows something different. We all know how important compromise is for every healthy relationship. And compromise is not about agreeing with each other at all times—it’s accepting that the other person has opinions and attitudes that differ from your own and not trying to change them. So, if your partner tells you that he is always trying to get his way, that can mean that he is someone who doesn’t give up easily, and that can be a good thing, but it can also mean he is not ready to have a relationship in which not everything is his way.


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