Do you prefer to enjoy your own company than the company of others? Just because you seek social isolation doesn’t have to mean that you are antisocial; you simply like to have some alone time with your own thoughts. Not liking social gatherings isn’t a mental disorder in itself although some loners do have mental disorders. Others are simply introverts who don’t like being surrounded by a group of people. Are you one of them? Find out in these 10 undeniable signs of a loner.
There are three types of loners, but the signs of a loner are the same for all types. You don’t really like small talk and instead, you value your alone time. Loners would much rather choose a cozy night watching Netflix than a crazy night out. They would rather choose texting than phone calls. Social gatherings are torture for these introverts. Extroverts love a good night out but if you are a loner, you won’t like spending long periods of time in large groups of people. There will also be long periods of not texting anyone, and without phone calls as well because you will seek social isolation.
Being a loner gives you self-awareness that extroverts rarely have. Your mental health and well-being are important to you but, you have to understand that getting out there won’t jeopardize you. Human beings are social creatures, so being anti-social isn’t good. If you have the personality traits of a loner, you should try learning from extroverts. It is much more fun to be an extrovert. Enjoying your own company is important, and they could learn that from you. Still, you have to get out of your shell and enjoy the company of others as well.
Being in a group of people just doesn’t seem right to you. Signs you’re a loner include all the personality traits of introverts. You might seem antisocial to others because you hate small talk and this is because you value your time and would much rather spend it alone with your own thoughts. Social isolation lets you have time to work on your mental health and care for your well-being. Nevertheless, it would be good for your mental health to get out there. You have a high level of self-awareness, but it won’t get you anywhere if you’re always at home watching Netflix.
Read on because you will find out about all the signs you’re a loner but first, let’s talk about the different types of loners.
Types of loners
There is a difference between whether you are a loner by choice or are forced to be one, as well as in whether you like it. Those are the three types of loners. The first type is a loner who enjoys solitude and prefers to not be around others. The second type is an individual who feels rejected by society and is therefore forced to be in isolation. This type often feels lonely, unlike the other two. The third type is actually social and doesn’t avoid being with other people, but still prefers being alone. Still, these types of loners aren’t always that obvious. People can have characteristics of all three types of loners combined. The signs of a loner could also be symptoms of mental illnesses in some cases.
Signs of a loner
1. You like to be alone much rather than be with other people
Do you feel much better when you are alone than when you are surrounded by other people? The fact that they are your close friends or family doesn’t change the fact that you would much rather be alone. That is the first one of the signs you’re a loner. You are someone who doesn’t need a shoulder to cry on when you are going through a rough time but you also don’t need a big celebration when you are successful. Instead, you like to deal with all the good times and all the bad times, alone and on your own. You don’t really understand the need to share these kinds of things with others. Why would you want to brag about your happiness, or cry over your failure in front of others?
You are a private person who can handle all of these things on your own. Still, I bet that your friends and family would love it if they could be more involved in your life. You don’t have to share your life with a lot of people but choose one good friend who will be by your side. I don’t like it when someone comforts me either, but just the fact that they are there means a lot. Maybe you had to deal with things on your own before, and that is what has made you this way but having the people you love a part of your life is something you shouldn’t deny yourself. It’s great when you have someone who you can share your pain and happiness with.
2. You like to do most things on your own
The perfect start to a good day is drinking coffee in the morning with your loved ones but you don’t think so. Instead, you would much rather drink your coffee alone. It helps you organize your thoughts and prepare you for everything that the day is going to bring your way. But you don’t just drink coffee on your own, because you go to the cinema alone as well. You can’t get it in your head why someone would need to take along a friend to the cinema when there is no need for talking. The best feeling in the world is when you can enjoy your movie without anyone constantly checking their phone. It’s the worst feeling in the world when someone tries to talk to you when you are watching a movie so, why would you take someone along and risk that happening?
When it comes to going out, it’s not a problem for you to sit alone at a bar and drink your beer in peace. After all, it gives you more pleasure than being with people ever could. I was once like you too. Going to the theater alone was my thing, and I would often sit alone at the bar. Still, I wasn’t a loner by choice, and I am happy that that’s over with. What has helped me is my acting class. Not only did it get me out of my shell, but I also met amazing new friends. Now I am almost never alone, and it’s the best feeling in the world. I even have people who will watch and discuss plays with me now, so I don’t go to the theater alone anymore.
3. You are a freelancer
Working with people is your worst nightmare. You could never imagine yourself in a job where you would be surrounded by people so 9 to 5 jobs aren’t really your thing. It’s not that you can’t work in a team, it’s just that you don’t like to. You work best when you work alone and therefore the quality of your work is much better. So, if you are a freelancer, or would like to be one, it’s one of the signs of a loner. These types of people will never work well with colleagues. They are much better at doing things on their own.
I actually worked with people for a long time until I simply couldn’t anymore. Working from home is something I had to make possible for myself for my own sake. It was the best decision I ever made, and I am grateful for it every day. Working with people isn’t easy for us who are used to being alone but as freelancers, we really get to become the professionals we want to be.
There is the right career choice for everyone, so don’t beat yourself up if you aren’t cut out to work with people. As someone who has made a big change in my career, I can tell you that working from home might just be the best choice. Ever since I quit my office job, I have managed to really become a professional in what I genuinely love doing. Getting to do what you love for a living is important, and it will make you feel fulfilled.
4. You like traveling alone
A lot of people are scared by the thought of being in a new, unfamiliar place without anyone they know. It is especially scary when you are surrounded by unknown streets and people who don’t speak your language so people choose to travel with their loved ones. But not you. You, on the other hand, prefer to travel alone and discover new stuff on your own. That is what traveling is all about, in your opinion. You can see people you know here where you are but when you travel, you are hungry for new things, and you don’t need anyone to help you enjoy them. If you love traveling alone, you should know that it’s one of the signs of a loner.
I’m not much for traveling alone, mostly because I tend to get lost a lot but you would rather risk getting lost than having someone you took with you ruin your trip… even when they are ruining your trip simply by being there with you. You enjoy embarking on a journey on your own and letting the new things around you overwhelm your senses. After all, if you took someone with you, they might not enjoy the same things as you do so you would have to make compromises and see only the things that you both want to see. That would make your trip different from what you wanted it to be, and why would you let that happen? It’s much easier to take along just your backpack and your adventurous spirit with you when you go traveling.
5. You talk to yourself
It always feels good when you have a meaningful conversation with an intelligent person… even when that person is yourself. Surely it beats meaningless discussions about the weather with strangers. Why would you spend time gossiping with friends when you can talk to yourself about the things that really matter? You don’t mind if someone catches you when you are talking out loud by yourself; it’s your right to have a conversation with yourself. That is actually really good from time to time but if it means that you enjoy talking to yourself more than talking to other people, you might have a problem. It’s one of the signs of a loner.
Even though talking to yourself could get you to realize a lot about yourself, talking to others is always better. Maybe you just haven’t found someone who really understands you and wants to talk about the same topics you do. Once you find someone like that, you will see that you’re not the only person you can talk to. Don’t assume that a conversation with someone else would be meaningless. Instead, try to surround yourself with people who understand you. They will have plenty to talk to you about, and it will feel as good as talking to yourself does. Don’t worry, talking to yourself doesn’t mean that you are crazy; a lot of people do it. But if you want to avoid strange looks while you’re doing it, just record what you are saying.
6. You are very self-aware
You can’t spend a lot of time on your own and not become very self-aware. Spending some time alone has given you enough time to look really deep into yourself. You have discovered what you don’t like and what you do like but you are also very well aware of what keeps you going and what can hold you back. This fact alone is why you are always able to stay calm when there is a problem. Being self-aware makes you calm when there are tough times because you don’t panic about problems or get overwhelmed by them. Instead, you get focused on finding a solution.
I know how well a person can know themselves when they spend a lot of time alone. I have spent a lot of time alone, since I was a loner who didn’t choose to be one. It really made me get to know myself better. Now I know exactly who I am, what I want from life, and how to get it. I know what I enjoy and what I hate. It goes so far that I have actually developed peculiar tastes, so going to a bar or a restaurant with me could get complicated. I know exactly what I like and don’t like, and so do you and this is because we have had a lot of time alone. So, that’s a nice perk of being alone.
7. You stay out of reach for quite some time
In these modern times, everyone is attached to their smartphone and carries it with them wherever they go. Everyone but you, it seems. You are not so crazy about smartphones, or any phones for that matter. If it was up to you, you wouldn’t even have a phone but since you do, you tend to turn it off for some time. You stay out of reach and don’t talk to anyone. Your family and friends sometimes can’t get through to you for weeks or longer. Still, they know that you aren’t really a social person, and they are used to it so they don’t get worried when you don’t answer your phone for weeks.
You simply don’t feel the need to stay in touch. Maybe you need some time alone without anyone bothering you, and they should respect that. I’m actually all for that. My family would drive me crazy with the constant calling to check up on me. Only now that I am married have I succeeded in teaching them that I don’t always have to answer the phone and I don’t always have to call them back either. It feels good to turn off your phone from time to time.
8. You don’t like going to social events or interacting with people
When you think about it, it all comes down to the fact that you simply don’t like interacting with people, not to mention going to social events where that is necessary. However, from time to time, you will like interacting; in fact, you will be joyful and charismatic, and people will really enjoy your company but you’re rarely in the mood for that. Most of the time, a social event is just something that wants to take your precious time away from you. You value your time very much, and you don’t like wasting it on doing something you don’t like. It’s very likely that you hate the holidays as well since it’s a time that you are expected to spend with your family. After all, interacting with people for a while leaves you feeling mentally and emotionally drained.
Why would you go to a social event when you have just started reading a really good book? There’s probably something good on the TV as well. But you are asked to spend your time surrounded by people. It’s the worst thing you can ask for from someone who shows signs of a loner. They can be fun to interact with, but only if they are in the mood for it, and they almost never are.
9. You love yourself
The good thing about the signs of a loner is that one of them is the fact that they love themselves. After all, they have spent so much time alone, so they have gotten to know themselves very well. As I already said, these people are very self-aware so they have had plenty of time to learn a lot about themselves. They had no choice but to accept themselves for what they are with all of their flaws, which they are very well aware of. You wouldn’t like spending time with someone you didn’t like, would you? The same goes for when that someone is you. In the same way, you wouldn’t love someone you didn’t spend enough time with and that is why these types of people love themselves.
Still, you aren’t going to accept just about anyone into your life. It might be exactly because you love yourself so much. You have gotten to know yourself very well so only those who know themselves can have a real conversation with you. Isolating yourself changes you; it makes you face your demons so once you manage to beat them, you think of it as an accomplishment. That is exactly what it is. So, that’s when you love yourself and realize that only those who have been through the same can understand you.
10. You don’t like drama
It might not make much sense to you, but some people actually love drama; they even tend to create it when there is no reason for it. You are not one of those people. One of the signs of a loner is when you avoid drama. As someone who is a lone wolf, you get along well with those like you but when it comes to outgoing people, you can’t really find anything in common with them. You try to keep away from irrational or indecisive people, and you avoid unreasonable incidents. Someone who is searching for you is more likely to find you at home reading a book than out chatting with people.
As I said before, you are someone who faces problems calmly. You aren’t one of the drama queens who will make things theatrical and neither will you talk much to others about your problems. When it comes to problems, you are someone who will calmly face them and silently deal with them on their own. You don’t like it when other people are involved in your life, so naturally, you won’t invite any drama into your life. Being a loner isn’t always easy, but there are things you could do to practice being more social. However, if you are happy the way things are, there is no need for you to change. Everyone has the right to be who they are as long as they are happy with it.