Life Love

To the Girl Who Needs to Find Herself

needs to find herself
Written by Karen Clark

To the girl who needs to find herself;

It’s time to take a break.

One thing you’ll learn in life is that nothing is set in stone. No matter how carefully you plan it out, there will be a period where it goes completely down hill, hell comes up, and nothing makes sense.

And trust me when I say, it’s the worst feeling on this planet.

But in those moments, you realize for the past few weeks, months, or years, you haven’t been yourself at all. For a while, the sun seemed veiled and dim. You look in the mirror and you notice the heavy purple bags under your eyes. You notice that your soul is crushed under the weight of hopelessness and that your personality is one big black hole. You’re disconnected from the world and you feel like you’re missing out. You can’t recognize yourself from the outside in.

That’s cue for you to take a step back and really spend time with yourself.

It’s okay to fall apart.

It’s in those storms that you find yourself in a place where you’re constantly on the brink of insanity.

And that’s okay.

Really, it is. It’s okay to fall apart because you have to let the pain go. It’s okay to cry all the time, it’s okay to scream and shout. The worst thing you can do is keep it all inside because if not, it will consume you like a raging fire.

And not everyone is going to understand where you’re coming from, but trust that they do care about you and want you to get better regardless.

Learn to find joy in the worst circumstances.

When all things were going as planned, you had a normal routine. But once you hit rock bottom and beyond, so did that routine. Now everything seems to be all over the place and it’s tempting to give up going with the flow.

But how about we try something different?

That is finding joy in the mess around you. Sounds impossible I know, but it is possible. Joy is something eternal and long lasting, meaning it can be found even when you feel like it’s completely absent. You have to learn to enjoy the little things as little as chores, a jog, candy, a movie, and so on.

Again, I know this is a tough one, but be patient with yourself and really take it one step at a time because depression isn’t worth it.

It’s time to actually get started.

It can be extremely tempting to lie in bed with the covers pulled up, not wanting anything to do with the world. But don’t do that, and if you’re doing it, get out of bed. For you to find your place again requires action.

You can’t afford to be passive about it because time is something you can’t get back.

Once it passes, that’s it, it won’t come back again. Once the earth makes a round of the sun, it keeps turning. As sad as it sounds, the world won’t stop for you. Don’t waste time wallowing in bitterness about how hard things are for you. Seriously, do not wait for the right time to heal and recover like I did. Do it now.

Be good to yourself.

You might be in a place where you owe your body so many apologies. Don’t let the guilt get to you because it’s not too late to really start taking care of yourself. Get some rest, eat more, eat better, and address the growing pains. Pay your bills. Organize yourself, clean your room, whatever it takes for you to really get it together.

Because self-care isn’t actually easy.

Being good to yourself takes work and discipline. There will be times when you don’t feel like getting up from bed, when you’d rather be at home instead of hanging out with friends, when you’re tempted to splurge on greasy or sweet foods to satisfy your comfort, and so on.

Taking care of yourself when you haven’t in a long time is hard but it is worth it in the long run.

Go into the new.

Trying something completely new is crazy hard but it’s pretty much the best thing you can do for yourself. Einstein said himself that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.

So really, one of the cures for insanity is trying something different.

Change your methods of doing things, and whether they work or not, it’s worth gaining that experience. If you want to try spending summer vacation on your own traveling, then start saving for it. If you feel like networking in person at an event might help you get a new job, then try it. I could go on, but I think you get the point.

Being yourself again requires that step into the unknown. So do yourself a loving favor for once and walk.

To the Girl Who Needs to Find Herself