He keeps proving you that he can’t change, and yet you still fall for his pleas to give him another chance? You’re a nice person, so you go with it, thinking maybe this time it will be different.
Well, guess what? It won’t. If it wasn’t different from the first time you gave him an opportunity to redeem, it won’t be different after the fiftieth either. Face it, you’re only dragging out something that is bound to happen – leaving him for good.
If you don’t, you’re only making it harder and worse for yourself. You’re putting yourself in a situation where you will be the disappointed one again. So next time you feel the urge to give another chance where it wasn’t deserved, remember these things.
He can’t keep a promise.
He never did anything he said he would. And what happened the last time, and the time before that, when you decided you’d let him try once more? Exactly. Don’t let yourself be fooled. You already know who he is. And you know he won’t keep his promises once again. Why would you put up with someone that unreliable?
Change is hard work.
Yet, he keeps throwing the promises of it around like it is something that can happen overnight. But change is not just a promise, it is not just words. Real change demands action and effort. And let’s face it, the only time he is ever a man of action is when he is due to messing up.
You’re the only one to blame for his repeated offense.
When it happens the first time, there is no one to be blamed but him. You couldn’t have known. But every time it repeats itself after the initial offense is only your fault. It is your fault because you allow him to still be in your life, because you still give him the benefit of the doubt, even after he proved he is completely unable to change.
You’re wasting your precious time.
Dealing with a person like that, with a relationship like yours, takes away so much of your energy. Just think what other things you could achieve if you redirected all that energy from a failed thing to something worth pursuing.
Also, don’t you think you deserve something better already? Someone better? Don’t you realize that by wasting your time on a bad relationship, you’re preventing the one that is right for you from taking his place in your life?
There is a reason you keep wanting to broke up.
If the relationship is worth pursuing, there wouldn’t be any attempts to leave, nor would any second chances have to be given. Since all that is happening at the moment and has been happening for a while, it’s more than a clear sign for you.
Second chances are earned, not given away.
But you seem to keep forgetting that. If you’re that easy to trick, he knows he doesn’t have to lift a finger for you. You will be there no matter what. And that is how you ensure he never even tries to change.
He is deceiving himself just as much as he deceives you.
He had to convince himself of all the same things he convinces you in order to make sure he never wishes to change. And your enabling of his behavior is not helping the least. Giving him new chances is perceived as approval of his terrible and immature behavior. That way you’re only making sure he never experiences any personal growth, ever.
You’re making yourself look like an idiot.
Everyone sees what’s happening. Everyone sees what should be done, and honestly, we all know you see it too. You’re not stupid. But for some reason, you insist on repeating the same stupid mistake over and over again. And the only thing you have out of it is a newfound reputation of a complete idiot.
He doesn’t take you seriously anymore.
You keep giving him new chances and you keep threatening that this time will be the last time if he doesn’t get it together. But even the birds know by now that you’re just talking. You keep coming back to him and he knows it. He knows you will always be there, regardless of how many unforgivable mistakes he makes and it doesn’t scare him enough to change his behavior. Actually, it doesn’t scare him at all.
That is why he won’t believe you even when you’re finally sick of him for good and you decide it’s really over. He will keep coming back, thinking it’s empty words once again. And by constantly invading your life, he will make it harder for you to stay determined about your decision to have him out of your life for good.