Relationships

How to Control Your Man

Written by Deborah Carbone

While of course there is such thing as being too controlling, if you have no handle on your man in your relationship, you begin to feel very powerless. If your boyfriend is going out all of the time, neglecting your needs and straying from the path, it’s time to take the power into your own hands, for the sake of you and your relationship. It’s not about keeping your man on a leash, or forcing them to do things they don’t want to. It’s about reigning them in a little and reminding them what they have before they lose it. A permanent change is the only way to make you comfortable in your relationship, so this is how to control your man in a way that changes him for the better.

Contents

    Make suggestions, not commands

    There’s no sense in bossing your man around. Men don’t respond well to authoritative figures, especially if previously you have been stoic and controlling. On the other hand, being a little less forceful with your approach can help a lot. Though they may not respond first time around, it will eventually get into their heads that you want them to make a change of some sort.

    For example, if you want them to stop making a mess in the house, softly suggest that they take an item back to it’s rightful place each time they leave a room. When a suggestion becomes habit, you won’t feel like you have to nag him anymore. For something more serious, such as trying to get them to stop flirting with other women, suggest to him that he consider your feelings before he acts. 

    Make them question their own behaviour

    When any man is doing something wrong, it becomes ever more tempting to learn how to control your man back home. A great way to get them to think for themselves is to ask them questions. Rather than feeding them the information you want them to understand, ask a question that makes them realise it for themselves. For example, if they are constantly going out at night and leaving you on your own, ask them how they would feel if you did the same. While they may not come to the same conclusions as you in response to the question, it will force them to reveal their thoughts. One of the hardest things about dating a man is knowing what’s going on in his head, but if he’s made to respond, you’ll be able to understand his motives much better.

    If a man questions his own behaviour and realises he’s doing something wrong or upsetting, he might finally grasp the effect he has and changes for the better.

    Make light of a situation to learn how to control your man sensibly

    No man wants to feel like he’s being weighed down by his partner. He doesn’t want to be told he’s wrong all the time, or be steered to places he doesn’t want to be. A man has his own mind, and though you want to know how to control your man, the truth is you shouldn’t try to. It only induces anger and a feeling of being trapped into your relationship, and that’s not healthy for either of you.

    Instead, when something is going wrong, make light of it and try to see the funny side. You can let your partner know you’re not pleased, but afterwards, just laugh it off. A relationship is nothing without compromise and laughter, and that’s how you will get a better grip on your man – by seeing the brighter side and cutting him some slack. He’ll be much more likely to want to spend time with you if you’re fun to be around, and he will respond better to your wants when you’re getting on well instead of criticising one another. While there are different ways to make a relationship work, the strongest relationships are easy and fun to be in.

    How to Control Your Man

    About the author

    Deborah Carbone

    Hi!
    I'm a Life and Relationship Coach with 5 years experience of coaching and training. I work with overwhelmed women guiding them through all kinds of life and career transitions so that they can make big changes in their lives.
    Writing is my passion and I am here to help you through every phase of your life. I hope you'll enjoy.

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