Ending a relationship is always tough, even when we are fully aware it is toxic and that is brings more bad than good things in our lives. Sometimes, we love a person next to us, despite the fact that we are aware that they don’t deserve that love. Sometimes, habit is the main thing that keeps us in a relationship. Sometimes, it’s the fear of solitude. And there are times when we are not even aware that our relationship has come to an end.
Either way, knowing when to let go is crucial. If you think you are on a crossroad and don’t know what to do , here are four signs you should end your relationship.
You are the only one trying.
Each relationship should be based on both partners putting in the same effort. But, if you are involved with a selfish person, there is no way of having a healthy relationship. Every relationship, and especially a romantic one, should be a two-way street in which both partners should be equals. You deserve a person who will match your effort and who will consider you worth fighting for. But, if your boyfriend or husband is only looking after his needs and desires, there is not much you can do, no matter how hard you try. If your relationship revolves only around your partner, it’s natural for you to feel resentful, used, and like you are living someone else’s life. You can’t expect to be happy if you are the only one who is giving something to the relationship and are not getting anything in return. All relationships have crises, but if you are the only one trying hard to make it work, that will create unbalance and disconnect in your relationship. The best thing you can do if you think you are the only trying is to take a step back and allow the other person to take responsibility for the relationship and to take things in their own hands. This way, you will be able to tell if they are involved in the process of making it work on the same level you are. If they don’t do anything and start drifting away even further, I am sorry to be the one to break it to you, but the relationship doesn’t have the same importance for them as it has for you. It only means you should end things on time, because there is no going back.
You feel stressed around your partner.
Your relationship should be your oasis of peace. Your partner should be the person you are looking to see or hear after a long, stressful day at work. Your relationship should be your sanctuary—it should make you happy, satisfied, and most importantly, it should make you calm. But, unfortunately, romantic relationships can be our biggest source of unhappiness, dissatisfaction, and stress. And that is not how things ought to be. If you are feeling that your relationship is bringing you more negative than positive emotions, it’s time you think it through. Yes, you love this person you are involved with, but they don’t bring you the joy they should. I am not saying you should end things the moment the excitement passes. On the contrary, if you still feel love towards this person after the initial butterflies have flown away, then this is the real deal. But, if your relationship is the main source of stress and discomfort in your life, then what’s the point of having it? You may think that the moments of incredible passion and rare moments of peace the two of you have are worth everything negative. But, trust me—they are not. Stress will damage your emotional, mental, and physical health and it can be too late once you realize it. A relationship that doesn’t calm you can be interesting while you are in your teen years. But later in life, when life itself brings you more than enough stress, you learn to appreciate tranquillity, and if you don’t have that in your relationship, it’s time to reconsider it.
You two seem unable to communicate.
Communication is everything in each relationship. You and your partner don’t have to necessarily have the same opinion about everything, but it’s always important that you two are able to meet each other halfway. What is even more important is that both of you respect and take into consideration each other’s opinion and attitudes. If the two of you can’t communicate and express different approaches to some issues without it leading to an argument, the fact is that you don’t have a healthy relationship. Don’t get me wrong—I am not claiming that you have a dysfunctional relationship if you fight from time to time. Every couple argues and that is a test for every relationship. But, even when you fight, you should do it maturely and with respect. It’s important for those fights to be productive and beneficial for your relationship. Healthy couples try hard to look at things from their partner’s perspective. But, if you and your partner can’t argue without insulting and belittling each other and each other’s points, you have a serious problem. If the fights you two have don’t end up with a conclusion suitable for the both of you, you are actually only arguing for the sake of the argument. You both probably have some deeper issues concerning one another and concerning your relationship, but are not able to identify and verbalize the true problems. So, you end up fighting for just about anything, because it’s the only way for you to channel the negativity you are both carrying. This is something that can be worked on, if it’s noticed on time and if both partners have the desire to change it, but it takes a lot of effort, energy, patience, and time. If you think one of you is not ready to make fundamental changes in your communication, there is no fixing the relationship.
You are being disrespected.
Mutual respect is one of the most important foundations of every successful relationship. Healthy couples respect each other, no matter what. You may think that your partner loves you, and because of that, you may tolerate his disrespect, and that is one of your biggest mistake. Of course, respect is earned and is quite difficult to get once you’ve shown you don’t have trouble putting up with being disrespected. But, trust me, if someone doesn’t respect you enough, it’s not possible for that person to truly love you. No matter how committed and serious a relationship is, both you and your partners are individuals whose integrity and independence must be respected. Disrespect comes in various forms and it’s sometimes quite hard to recognize. Lying and cheating are the biggest forms of disrespect. Also, if you have the feeling your partner has been putting himself above you or is trying to control or change you, he doesn’t respect you as a woman, and most importantly, he doesn’t have respect for you as a person. Of course, you can always tell the other person how their behavior is making you feel. But if you don’t see any change or progress after that, it’s time to walk away. Because by staying, you are only showing them that this treatment is acceptable for you, and deep down, you know you deserve more.