We are all looking for love and some form of affection. Sadly, this desire often leads us to the wrong direction. Sometimes, we are not able to recognize true love and appreciate it enough. There are other times when we are searching for love in places where it doesn’t exist and from the people that can’t or don’t want to give it to us.
There are millions of pieces of advice to help you recognize whether your romantic partner really loves and cares about you. But actually, things couldn’t be simpler. If any person, including your boyfriend or husband, is treating you poorly, they don’t love you enough nor do they consider you to be important enough for them. On the other hand, if someone is treating you like you are important to them, they really do love you. There is not much philosophy in this: the way someone treats you shows how they really feel about you.
Yes, it’s always nice to hear phrases such as “I love you” or “I care about you” or “You mean a lot to me.” But, if these words don’t have a backup or are not proven to you through action and deeds, they remain only that—blank and meaningless words. People who deeply care about you will show it to you constantly, without them even having to say it out loud.
The same is when it comes to your boyfriend or husband. When we were little girls, boys showed us affection by being mean and rude or even aggressive to us. If a boy liked you, he would pull your hair, tease you, or pinch you. In that age, boys didn’t know how to process the fact they liked a girl and didn’t know what was happening to them. So, this was the only way they knew to express their affection to a child of the opposite sex. But that time has passed long ago and we are not toddlers any longer. Grown men never express their emotions this way.
Yes, unfortunately, men and women still play games. But now these are mind and psychological games. And because of these games, women are almost never sure of the guy’s real intentions or emotions for them. So, we tend to look for signs that a guy is into us. If he treats us like crap, we have the habit of justifying his behavior by telling ourselves that he has emotions for us deep down, but that he doesn’t know how to express them or is even not aware of having them in the first place. But this is all bullshit.
If a man treats you badly, he doesn’t care about you enough. It’s simple as that. If he doesn’t listen to you, he doesn’t care about what you have to say. If he doesn’t take your opinions and wishes into consideration, it’s because they are not important to them. If he puts himself above you, he doesn’t consider you an equal partner in this relationship. If he talks to other girls, he doesn’t consider you enough. If he’s rude to you, he doesn’t respect you. If he cheats on you, he doesn’t love you, no matter what he says. If a guy is treating you the way you don’t deserve, he doesn’t deserve a place in your life. If a guy is treating you like an option, it’s because you are only that to him.
Don’t lie to yourself—there is no hidden signs and messages, he’s not afraid to show you his true feelings, he’s not playing hard to get, and it’s not all a part of his game so you get more attracted to him. He doesn’t care about you and his behavior shows you that. What more do you need him to do in order for you to accept this fact?
Yes, it can be devastating to realize that a person we love doesn’t love us back. But it’s all part of adult life. And it will be way more devastating for your mind and emotions to continue loving someone who doesn’t love you back. The sooner you accept that someone doesn’t care about you, the sooner you can start your healing process and the sooner you will be able to move on with your life.
It’s about time us women figure this out. Stop making excuses for him and stop hoping he’ll change. He may be telling you he loves you, but if his behavior is telling you something else, you shouldn’t be in doubt. There is nothing easier than for a player to sweet talk you into staying by his side. But if you really love someone, you’ll put in an effort to treat this person in that way. This guy isn’t putting any effort to make you feel loved and wanted, and therefore, he doesn’t love you. He treats you like crap, is never by your side when you need him, never meets you halfway, and doesn’t respect you enough, and you still think he may love you deep down. He is not concerned about your problems, is never involved when something important is going on in your life, and is not concerned about your well-being and needs in general. What is all of this telling you?
You may ask yourself why he even bothers lying to you if he doesn’t care and doesn’t want you in his life. So, you hold on to his words and small tokens of his affection, hoping that things between you will change or you keep making excuses for him. I am not saying he doesn’t want you in his life at all—he probably enjoys the attention you are giving to him (who doesn’t enjoy being loved?), you may be good for his ego, or he is just keeping you around until someone more suitable comes along. But the fact is that he doesn’t care about you enough to put an effort to make you feel loved and appreciated.
Start from yourself. How do you treat the people you love? You use every possible opportunity to show them your love, you put them first, listen to them, you never belittle them, you remember all the important dates in their lives, and you are always there for them. So, why do you accept different treatment for yourself? Why do you put yourself in the situation in which you have to beg for someone’s love and attention? No matter what people say and despite the condition modern dating is currently in, this is not acceptable. If you are in a loving relationship, you should never be unsure about your partner’s emotions towards you.
You know you deserve better and more. You deserve to feel loved and it’s your partner’s duty to make you feel that way. You deserve to be treated as a princess and you deserve to feel like you are the only woman in the world. Don’t ever settle for less.
The same goes not only for romantic relationships, but for every other relationship in your life. If your friends or family members treat you poorly, they don’t care about you enough, and don’t let anyone question you this.
The bottom line is that everyone in your life will eventually show you how much you mean to them and if they love you or not. It doesn’t have to do with words—it’s only connected to the way they treat you. All you have to do is open your eyes and see it for yourself.